Dealing with Depression...how do you do it?

[The Intergalactic Koala]

....How about developing a character. Like finding something that brings the joy through the darkness. We have this clutch that's a gift from God to overcome the state of depression. It's like a positive vice. The things you laid out are proper steps, but narrow it down to that one true desirable addiction with moderation.

One of the things that kept my head leveled, especially during times when my mind goes left....is writing. I love to write, especially when I'm not in a happy mood. Poetry, short stories, Coli shytposting, you named it.

Sadly, sometimes I may not want to write...so I go to the next step and that's gaming. I used to have a hate/love feeling about gaming until it dawned on me that it has always been the biggest part of my life.

When I was in the shelter, I used to whipped out my MacBook (before I sold it) and play some rinky dinky Apple Arcade games. Mainly this game called Cozy Grove which kept my mind off of losing my shyt.

My in-laws house, I would play Minecraft and just get lost in that world.

During my hotel living, World of Warcraft and Yakuza series.

You get the point. Bottom line, depression will never go away, it is a friend that will talk your fukking head off, but will leave out the door and forget to unlock it.
They're coming back, but you got to make the most of it while that shytty friend is gone....

 

[JQ Legend]

Depression is due to internal resistance ie the difference between what you want your life to be and what it actually is. In that sense it a sign to tell you to change things up and flip the script. The chemical imbalance tip is a load of BS and most therapists are themselves messed up in the head so its best avoiding them.

I will say that generational trauma is a thing and for ADOS especially that pain runs deep due to how its been compounded, exploited and paraded to the world for commerce and entertainment which is very dehumanizing. Try this, it may seem simple but its very powerful:

How to Speak to Your Inner Child

Take this as a preview of whats to come as its a very simple but exceedingly effective method of reconnecting with your inner child whose pristine presence still dwells within the depths of your Ad…

willhelp.me

"Take this as a preview of whats to come as its a very simple but exceedingly effective method of reconnecting with your inner child whose pristine presence still dwells within the depths of your Adulterated awareness. You will require a notepad and two pens."

Nah there is something to there being a chemical imbalance

I agree with everything else u said tho

 

[Tsotsi Cape Town]

Join a gym breh and try network with homies there, your body should instill a lot of self confidence in you and seeing the progress will do wonders for your mental health, you'll be bored in the cut sometimes and just hit the gym its a dope feeling. Plenty of different shyt you can get into (bodybuilding, crossfit, power lifting etc). Plus you might even be able to bag a baddie

 

[ISO]

Thanks for the responses. Today is just one of those days where my depression got the best me.
The worst thing about depression (to me atleast) is how much energy it takes away from you.
People would say I was very energetic back in the day, but sometimes it's a struggle just to get out of bed.
and people wouldn't even see me as someone who suffers from depression.
I work out regularly and am in shape...seem to always be smiles, but damn...behind that smile is a broken soul.

My depression gets so bad sometimes I just don't respond to emails or DMs or people that genuinely want to talk to me.
Sometimes I feel like if I had more success in life or some other things to preoccupy me (like a GF, Wife, family house, a career) I wouldn't be depressed
But I just get sick and tired of working my ass off trying to improve my situation and very little changes.
I get depressed looking for work...cause they see my pitiful resume, useless degree, and African AF name and immediately pass it over.
After a while, I would stop getting excited for interviews.
I expected life to be better at this point.
When society don't want to give you a chance...it's depressing.
I'm just thankful that there are some great souls on this site I could talk to. It's appreciated.

Just being able to tell people that depression doesn't have to be the end all to be all.
It's a fight I've fought for almost 16 years now.
It doesn't get better...it just gets easier to deal with...I guess.

What is your degree, past work experiences, and what type of work do you look for?

 

[Mandarin Duck]

I'm on a constant journey of self improvement.
I set my own standards set my own goals and challenge myself to accomplish them.

Nobody is going to make my life better other than me.

 

[King_Sage]

OP, it's not a magic pill. But how are your Vitamin D levels? Black people (especially darker skin tones) typically have lower levels of vitamin D and there is a direct corellation to depression.

Therapy
physical fitness
prayer/meditation

all could help

 

[Dog Based Gremlin]

I'm going to try to recommend a couple things that aren't already mentioned here cause yeah obviously therapy and working out helps, we hear that all the time.

Prioritize your sleep. Make it imperative you hit the bed at a certain time and get 7-8 hours of UNINTERRUPTED sleep. You may need to lean on things like Chamomile extract, melatonin, vitamin D, ashwaganda to actually help you achieve those deep levels of sleep.

Try to minimize or completely eliminate anything that will fukk with your sleep quality like eating poorly or late, bright screens late at night, caffeine, alcohol, trees - you might sleep fast with trees, but it actually prevents you from reaching the deeper levels of sleep to become fully rested, or just limit it to the weekends.

This isn't going to fix your problems in life but you will have a huge shift in mood/happiness and mental clarity, and this will increasingly become stronger if you are able to be consistent with this stuff. You will be far better equipped to deal with your problems like this.

I used to not give a fukk about my sleep on some stupid hustle 24/7 shyt since I work 60 hour weeks in corporate (capital markets), but doing this really improved my quality of life in all areas and gives me so much more mental will power to actually give up bad habits and create new healthy habits with far more ease than I did before. I'm at a point now where I'm super disciplined with working out 2-3x a day, 6-7 times a week, literally training way more than I did back in university.

The next thing I'm going to recommend is a gut cleanse. This is important especially if you have a bad diet, eat late, and don't drink enough water. Having too much bullshyt in your digestive system accumulate over years will impact your mental health and subsequently your depression. Try to drink a gallon of water everyday, a glass of lemon water everyday, replace coffee with herbal teas (I recommend a matcha tea with Ginger and turmeric), and try to do a castor oil cleanse once a week - if you from the islands your parents probably put you onto this already, basically a spoon or shot of castor oil after drinking a few glasses of water. All these things will completely flush your liver and overall system and have you feeling amazing. Make sure you have the whole day free when you do the castor oil cleanse cause you will be shytting all day.

Everytime I drunk lemon water, I have the squirts in the toilet

Is that normal?

 

[OperationNumbNutts]

I've been dealing with depression for over 15 years now. It started due to a triggering event in which I got jumped by 5 people on the way to a college party and the friend I went to this party with abandoned me and ran and I nearly was killed. Since then, I've dealt with medications that didn't do anything but make me fat and sluggish, I've heard some wishy washy fake ass advice from people who wanted me to stop talking to them and didn't actually want to help me, and until I come across a BLACK MALE THERAPIST...I refuse to go to therapy. I'm not talking to no black man hating black female therapist calling us "dusty bytches" on TikTok.

The main sources of my depression have come from
- Not having money/being broke and having it stopping me from doing what I want to do.
- Being Single/Lonely
- Feeling isolated/alienated in an overwhelmingly white city
- dealing with racism/anti-blackness

I deal with depression by:

- Making Music
- Skateboarding
- Collecting sneakers
- Buying clothes
- Talking online to people (cause I don't talk to many people in my real life)

With that said, I am so thankful for the coli, cause I can breathe on here and discuss the things I want to discuss to like minded people who can relate.

I feel a lot of Black Men are depressed...but we don't have outlets or support systems Black Women do...so we tend to dwell in very self-desrtuctive mindsets
And we're gaslit for talking about our feelings...made to feel weak...made to feel like failures for having emotions. But that's normal.

With that said, I wouldn't wish what I'm going through on anybody...but depression won't end your life. There are ways to overcome what you dealing with.

Not trying to be an a$$ but don't downplay therapy just because of tiktok vids. Try marital arts to get your mind and confidence up. Also, a therapists (a good one) job is to get to the core problems that bring about issues such as depression. It sounds like you have issues that haven't been addressed. If figuring it out on your own hasn't helped, try to obvious difference which is talking to someone. Just remember the old saying, an old fool was once a young fool. Meaning, time doesn't address issues. Taking initiative does.

 

[Mandarin Duck]

I deal with depression by:

- Making Music
- Skateboarding
- Collecting sneakers
- Buying clothes
- Talking online to people (cause I don't talk to many people in my real life)

I suggest talking to people offline.

I would go online looking for connections with people but whenever I actually speak with people irl it's so much better.

Negative experiences made me feel like trying to connect with people was a waste of time but I can't let small negative experiences stop me from the positivity of human interaction.

 

[Cryptocurrency Scarface]

The coli is actually the worst place to go to there are a lot of demoralising posts on here that can crush one’s self esteem it’s best to log off.

 

[Mandarin Duck]

I think it's important to find a therapist you're comfortable with, but if those are the qualifications you need, do the research to find that person.

Either put in the work to find that black male therapist or don't allow that to be the deciding factor between you seeking professional help.

 

[Coolin']

Imma just keep it a buck, brehs here and anywhere really, recommend exercise, vitamins, hobbies...but the truth of the matter, if you're having a depressive episode sometimes you gotta just let it ride. I speak this from experience; when it hits,it hits; I don't want to do shyt, and I like to do shyt. Browsing helps (sorry to brehs saying to stop browsing thecoli dot com). But really, it takes things off of my mind. Plus I think it'll be better tomorrow and the next day I try to better myself.

Meditating does help tho.

 

[WaveWhisperer]

Is it really that difficult to find a black male therapist??

Yes.

 

[The Intergalactic Koala]

The coli is actually the worst place to go to there are a lot of demoralising posts on here that can crush one’s self esteem it’s best to log off.

Still literally shaken when a poster showed me a picture of a dead koala.

 

[DJ Paul's Arm]

Nothing beats depression more than some plain ol pusssayyyy!