I've been dealing with depression for over 15 years now. It started due to a triggering event in which I got jumped by 5 people on the way to a college party and the friend I went to this party with abandoned me and ran and I nearly was killed. Since then, I've dealt with medications that didn't do anything but make me fat and sluggish, I've heard some wishy washy fake ass advice from people who wanted me to stop talking to them and didn't actually want to help me, and until I come across a BLACK MALE THERAPIST...I refuse to go to therapy. I'm not talking to no black man hating black female therapist calling us "dusty bytches" on TikTok.
The main sources of my depression have come from
- Not having money/being broke and having it stopping me from doing what I want to do.
- Being Single/Lonely
- Feeling isolated/alienated in an overwhelmingly white city
- dealing with racism/anti-blackness
I deal with depression by:
- Making Music
- Skateboarding
- Collecting sneakers
- Buying clothes
- Talking online to people (cause I don't talk to many people in my real life)
With that said, I am so thankful for the coli, cause I can breathe on here and discuss the things I want to discuss to like minded people who can relate.
I feel a lot of Black Men are depressed...but we don't have outlets or support systems Black Women do...so we tend to dwell in very self-desrtuctive mindsets
And we're gaslit for talking about our feelings...made to feel weak...made to feel like failures for having emotions. But that's normal.
With that said, I wouldn't wish what I'm going through on anybody...but depression won't end your life. There are ways to overcome what you dealing with.