Dealing with Depression...how do you do it?

[Elim Garak]

Are you making moves in your life to improve your situation because you've clearly defined what you believe are your issues. Are you making moves to produce more income, working on meeting women and meeting more people with common intrest, and moving to a city with a larger black population?


- Not having money/being broke and having it stopping me from doing what I want to do.
- Being Single/Lonely
- Feeling isolated/alienated in an overwhelmingly white city
- dealing with racism/anti-blackness

 

[Dave24]

Take a break from The Coli. Seriously, I'm not making a joke. Start lifting weights and getting fresh air by walking around outside, especially on days with nice weather.

@ObsidianDev how long should he take a break from the coli? How many months would you recommend?

 

[The D-List Vet]

@ObsidianDev how long should he take a break from the coli? How many months would you recommend?

Dave are you depressed again my guy? I remember you made a thread a few years back on your situation.

 

[Dave24]

Dave are you depressed again my guy? I remember you made a thread a few years back on your situation.

yeah a little bit

 

[The D-List Vet]

yeah a little bit

What is going on this time? It been years since the last time you made a update on your life.

 

[Xcenai]

So did we really just ignore this post? Is bro still alive?

still fighting the good fight

 

[StackorStarve]

To be rather harsh. The question is, are you being a bytch.
As in, there are MILLIONS of folks who would trade places with you right now.
Older folks who wish for another 10 years.
Those who sick.
Those going through massive loss.
Some people are starving.
Have no hope whatsoever.

Again, are you being a bytch.
I 100% understand, things will never ever be as you would like them to be though.

Delivery was a lil harsh like dude mentioned but tbh this is the answer in my opinion. Depression doesn’t discriminate. Wealthy or poor etc., but I think the best way to fight your way out of it is to reflect and lean on the good things you do have in your life because unless you’re literally dying outside on the streets while people walk over you there’s something to be grateful for. Take confidence in that and then get active. Exercise builds your mind. It’s crazy how good you feel after working out and build from there. Take a shot a tequila or three and fukk a couple ugly birds if needed in the beginning to get back in the game and then you’re on your way my guy.

 

[The D-List Vet]

still fighting the good fight

Keep it up my guy, we all go though those days, I am dealing with it right now and you guys on thecoli keeps me going.

 

[Dave24]

What is going on this time? It been years since the last time you made a update on your life.

Same old same old for the most part, no women and no good career prospects. Coming to the realization I may be single the rest of my life and borderline broke. Don't really have any marketable skills. At the same time I realize it is partly my fault for the situation I'm in. My social anxiety and low self esteem contributed to a lot of it.

 

[Studious one]

Get some counseling breh. And save the therapist as one of your favorites in your phone

This is the best answer right here. I hate that therapy is looked down upon in our community. I dealt with someone that needed therapy, and I would beg him to go. He actually did end up going to therapy, at least he said he did. I responded with “that’s good to know, being as it came at my expense” OP, the best thing that you can do for yourself is to find someone that you can talk to freely. Prayers to you in finding a good, black male therapist. I’m reading all these responses, because I really don’t have a definitive answer as to how to cope with depression.

 

[Studious one]

Same old same old for the most part, no women and no good career prospects. Coming to the realization I may be single the rest of my life and borderline broke. Don't really have any marketable skills. At the same time I realize it is partly my fault for the situation I'm in. My social anxiety and low self esteem contributed to a lot of

Damn, I’m so sorry. Take things one day at a time. Make some very, very short term goals. Then long-term goals. I always say, you can’t eat a whole cookie, you have to nibble on it sometimes to not get a bellyache.

 

[Studious one]

Depression is due to internal resistance ie the difference between what you want your life to be and what it actually is. In that sense it a sign to tell you to change things up and flip the script. The chemical imbalance tip is a load of BS and most therapists are themselves messed up in the head so its best avoiding them.

I will say that generational trauma is a thing and for ADOS especially that pain runs deep due to how its been compounded, exploited and paraded to the world for commerce and entertainment which is very dehumanizing. Try this, it may seem simple but its very powerful:

How to Speak to Your Inner Child

Take this as a preview of whats to come as its a very simple but exceedingly effective method of reconnecting with your inner child whose pristine presence still dwells within the depths of your Ad…

willhelp.me

"Take this as a preview of whats to come as its a very simple but exceedingly effective method of reconnecting with your inner child whose pristine presence still dwells within the depths of your Adulterated awareness. You will require a notepad and two pens."

I believe this. I believe that we all have an inner child, or specifically an incident from when we were a child that has contributed greatly to the person that we are as adults. I feel so bad for the little girl inside of me, and I have to make a conscious decision not to add no more pain to her. Not to have so much high expectations for myself because it’s not fair to her. Damn that last line made me tear up.

 

[Studious one]

There are black male therapists out there brotha. You just have to look for them

I got lucky and found one through a family member they network with. He saved my life. Not only that, but he inspired me to be a LCSW. I'm going to Grad school later this year

I suffered from depression ever since 2008. Maybe earlier than that. It wasn't diagnosed until 2011. 2018-2021 were some of the darkest years of my life. Now I'm the best I've ever been mentally. Better than I was as a kid when I didn't have shyt to worry about

Therapy is very essential. Without therapy, depression will always weigh you down. Especially if it's MDD. There's a difference between a bad day and a legitimate diagnosis. A therapist and psychiatrist will help you figure out what you have exactly

If you believe in God, your spiritual condition is the core. Without that, your mental won't reach its potential. Won't go into proof of His existence. Just know I was agnostic and spiritually confused from 2015-2021. Summer 2021, something you would think came from a movie happened to me. I am dead serious. A span of over a month

Ever since that experience, I've been on a journey of getting closer to God. This is the main thing that has me in a great place in life

Support System: family, friends, mentors, colleagues, godchildren/parents, family friends, anyone you are close to and can trust. You need to rely on those people to see you through what you're going through

You aren't a burden to anyone by asking for help. That's why they are there for you. They care about you. They don't want to see you take your own life and deal with you not living anymore. Seek those people and they will help you on your journey to wellness

Physical health: do everything you can to eat right and basically live a healthy life. Drugs and alcohol do NOTHING positive to your mental. It's a short-term satisfaction tool. After the fun ends, you're right back where you started. And many times, even further back then where you were. You have to be healthy in every facet of your life

Medication: if you need medication, your psychiatrist will help you identify what would be the best fit for you to recover, along with your therapist. Make sure the psychiatrist is a good one. Make sure he listens, is open to med changes, and cares about your wellbeing

Hobbies: no matter how hard it is, do everything you can to do any and everything you like to do. As long as it's healthy. You like videogames? Watching movies? Writing poems? Going to the gym? Watching sports? Listening to music? Do all of it. Fight that feeling of dissatisfaction. I know how it feels to be depressed. The shyt I used to love brought me no joy when I was down. But eventually, the switch turned on again. It won't happen overnight, but it will happen

Being careful about what you take in: social media, internet, excess food, etc. Life is about balance. Almost anything in excess is bad for you. Try to limit the most potentially mentally draining things. Being on TLR for more than 10 minutes everyday can fukk your mind and spirit up. Same with IG, Twitter, and any other app

Make sure you listen to and watch positive stuff. Listening to sad music is cathartic. But it will not help you recover from depression. You have to put in what you want to put out. Watch positive, funny videos. Listen to positive, uplifting music. Try to stay away from the negative stuff. Negative energy directly contributes to mental illness. Negative people feed off of it. Misery loves company

Working on yourself: develop skills like cooking, read books, positive affirmations, healthy coping skills, identify your flaws and work on improving them, basically grow to be a better person holistically. This is the key. The first step is wanting to be depression-free and acknowledging you aren't ok. After that, it's about healing yourself from the inside-out

I could say more but I will in another thread about mental health wellness. I've lived this. I've overcome this. I, now, help many other patients recover from this at least 36 hours a week in my work days. I am a walking testimony. Everyone battles something. "Normal" is a social construct. It is not a reality

Most important of all, you have a story to tell. You will get better. Everything in life gets better. Change is the only constant in this life. So even though it feels it will always be terrible, it won't. A walk outside, a short conversation with a stranger, and a strawberry lemonade can make your terrible day turn into a decent day. Decent one day can turn into good. So on and so forth

I am here to say, anything is possible. When you overcome this, you will be able to tell others what I'm posting in here. You were meant to be alive. You weren't born to take yourself out. God speed

Repped! Straight real shyt. Made me cry. Blessings to you!

 

[The D-List Vet]

Same old same old for the most part, no women and no good career prospects. Coming to the realization I may be single the rest of my life and borderline broke. Don't really have any marketable skills. At the same time I realize it is partly my fault for the situation I'm in. My social anxiety and low self esteem contributed to a lot of it.

Dave my guy, you been in the same boat since 2016, it might be time to get a therapist because I don't think we can help you and we had people offer you some good advice.

 

[Studious one]

Thanks for the responses. Today is just one of those days where my depression got the best me.
The worst thing about depression (to me atleast) is how much energy it takes away from you.
People would say I was very energetic back in the day, but sometimes it's a struggle just to get out of bed.
and people wouldn't even see me as someone who suffers from depression.
I work out regularly and am in shape...seem to always be smiles, but damn...behind that smile is a broken soul.

My depression gets so bad sometimes I just don't respond to emails or DMs or people that genuinely want to talk to me.
Sometimes I feel like if I had more success in life or some other things to preoccupy me (like a GF, Wife, family house, a career) I wouldn't be depressed
But I just get sick and tired of working my ass off trying to improve my situation and very little changes.
I get depressed looking for work...cause they see my pitiful resume, useless degree, and African AF name and immediately pass it over.
After a while, I would stop getting excited for interviews.
I expected life to be better at this point.
When society don't want to give you a chance...it's depressing.
I'm just thankful that there are some great souls on this site I could talk to. It's appreciated.

Just being able to tell people that depression doesn't have to be the end all to be all.
It's a fight I've fought for almost 16 years now.
It doesn't get better...it just gets easier to deal with...I guess.

Yes, it does take a lot of energy from you. no, depression doesn’t have to be the end wall to be all. Whomever you believe in, pray for strength, brother.