Did your parents tell you how awesome you were? That you did a good job. That they are proud of you.
My dad was the only one of my folks that did. Love my mom, but she rarely said it to me.
what about ya'll, you all get alot of that?
Yesterday, in a candid moment, my oldest told me she thought she was stupid and couldn't learn anything new. It was clear she was upset. I felt like shyt because I immediately knew it was my fault.
Instead of giving her kudos most times, I'm always pointing out how she could be better and push herself more. She is scared to try anything new because of fear of it not being perfect. I don't allow my kids to say "I can't" and am just always making them think about how their choices affect their consequences, even when they are upset.
To have my child tell me that let me know I'm fukking up though. I'm just scared of this world eating my kids alive and determined to keep it from happening. I now know I'm harder on them than I may need to be.
Sometimes kids just need to know you love THEM, not what they can do. I'm taking what my baby told me to work on showing my kids that. Sometimes instead of guidance, I guess they just need your arms around them and an affirmation of a parent's unconditional love, even when they are acting their worse.
As for me, I cant say I remember how my parents were, but I certainly don't remember getting negative reinforcement. I knew they loved me because they were always involved in my life.