Of course. I think about my mortality and others mortality ALL the time now. ALL THE TIME. That
@charmander shyt hit me hard. I didnt know him personally. Him and me werent cool like that and him and me didnt get along but when he died, that scared the shyt out of me like damn.... that could be me and him seeing that shyt instead. Kobes death days after that just pretty much said anybody could get it. Death doesnt discriminate.
That only just makes me even more upset and angry with myself because im not living life and am far behind in a lot compared to a lot of people. Im going to die one day. Shouldnt i be enjoying life? Im not doing much of anything besides work, gym, and chilling home. When am i going to reach those milestones in life? shyt kills me and its like being around other people reminds me of that shyt. I try not to get into in depth convos with people because i dont want to talk about my personal life. But yeah, i dont wanna think about that shyt but if i could live forever, let me live forever. fukk death.
I guess i wanna be able to learn how to be happy and accept the fact that im going to die one day but i could try to live the fukk out of life though. Dont know how to.
And honestly, thats why im mad with certain people too. You know, we arent going to live forever. Some of these fukkers never got the time though until you run out of time or theyre running out of time but the irony is im the same way and i dont wish to be. I care but the folks around me dont. I have a fear of losing people close to me so i dont like being too close to people.
