Ever been caught Jacking off ?

[mson]

This happened a couple months ago. My cousin was staying over my aunt's house with us. When i beat my meat in the bathroom there's a long ass hallway so I can hear when a nikka start walking to the bathroom. I just hide everything when them footsteps come.

So this nikka comes walking down the hallway and stops right before he gets to the door. I drop everything and start to move my iphone behind the door. So the nikka leaves and goes back to his room.

I'm like and I get back to bussiness.

2 minutes later all of a sudden this nikka starts to double back.

I hear this nikkas footsteps coming down the hallway fast as fukk

I swear yo I couldn't react in time. That door swang open I tried to jump behind the door but I ain't make it

Cousin: Ohh I'm so sorry

Me: Dumb nikka u ain't see the lights on!! You never hear of knocking??

I stood there for a good 3 minutes vaseline all on my dikk drying up just staring at myself in the mirror like I'm a pathetic ass nikka.

I didn't leave my room for the rest of the night.

This thread is pound for pound one of the funniest on here

 

[Illuminatos]

This happened a couple months ago. My cousin was staying over my aunt's house with us. When i beat my meat in the bathroom there's a long ass hallway so I can hear when a nikka start walking to the bathroom. I just hide everything when them footsteps come.

So this nikka comes walking down the hallway and stops right before he gets to the door. I drop everything and start to move my iphone behind the door. So the nikka leaves and goes back to his room.

I'm like and I get back to bussiness.

2 minutes later all of a sudden this nikka starts to double back.

I hear this nikkas footsteps coming down the hallway fast as fukk

I swear yo I couldn't react in time. That door swang open I tried to jump behind the door but I ain't make it

Cousin: Ohh I'm so sorry

Me: Dumb nikka u ain't see the lights on!! You never hear of knocking??

I stood there for a good 3 minutes vaseline all on my dikk drying up just staring at myself in the mirror like I'm a pathetic ass nikka.

I didn't leave my room for the rest of the night.

Man when I think about this shyt it still got me dying to this day. I never beat my meat the same again.

 

[Renkz]

My interpreting footsteps game is<<<<<


I know nikkas can usually interpret how far them steps is from the door but the 1 time I got caught red-handed I had my fan on and couldn't hear and

My mom was 2 inches from the door when I heard the first foot step and I knew that my shyt was a wrap

See I'm the type of nikka who'll get it on with the whole family there

Thing is my mom didn't beat me nor upset that my katana was unsheathed but I was crying like a bytch just off the fact that she got me with my hand in the cookie jar

 

[rocksteady]

nah i was on stealth mode and my door growing up didnt even have a lock.

pile of clothes in front of the door so heavy that u could only open the door 1/2 inch
pile of papers outside the door so i can hear footsteps and disengage before they came in
ear bud in one ear only so i can hear the perverted sounds while keeping an ear free to listen to trespassers
jacking off into a plastic store bag

ayo, my man here using advanced asymmetric tactics

- barricading his self with clothes

- setting paper crackling alarms

- using devices appropriately w/ear bud in one ear

- having awareness of "trespassers" as he calls them

- busting into a plastic store bag, lol (i assume in case anyone does reconnaissance looking for evidence)

 

[sfgiants]

ayo, my man here using advanced asymmetric tactics

- barricading his self with clothes

- setting paper crackling alarms

- using devices appropriately w/ear bud in one ear

- having awareness of "trespassers" as he calls them

- busting into a plastic store bag, lol (i assume in case anyone does reconnaissance looking for evidence)

man if u think about it, shooting ur load into one of them safeway grocery store type bags >>>>>. esp if you line it with a napkin to absorb the liquid.

they are easily shaped into whatever shape you want.. this is the way i shaped it. big opening, and right as im ready to shoot i aim in there n coat the insides with my egg whites

then you fold that shyt up

throw it into the big garbage can you put out once a week for the garbage man (not the kitchen one or the bathroom one because someone might find it). OR you can put it into an empty milk carton and seal away the evidence forever. or until the people at the recycling plant disassemble the cartons n shyt.

 

[Dada]

never got caught but i tried to jakk off in the same bed as my mom and brother
long story

Don't tease us..how'd that happen?

 

[rocksteady]

man if u think about it, shooting ur load into one of them safeway grocery store type bags >>>>>. esp if you line it with a napkin to absorb the liquid.

they are easily shaped into whatever shape you want.. this is the way i shaped it. big opening, and right as im ready to shoot i aim in there n coat the insides with my egg whites

then you fold that shyt up

throw it into the big garbage can you put out once a week for the garbage man (not the kitchen one or the bathroom one because someone might find it). OR you can put it into an empty milk carton and seal away the evidence forever. or until the people at the recycling plant disassemble the cartons n shyt.

dawg!

omg, wow

this is why we come to the coli!

 

[Fatboi1]

The best time to jack off and not get caught is when shytting. I never got caught like that. I'd bring my DS or PSP in there with me and watch. I'd download and convert small clips and throw em on there and nobody would know since I used to always like playing games while shytting. I'd be in the bathroom for like 40 minutes and everybody thinking you playing Mario Kart yet you really watching Bangbros and shyt.

 

[FLYINHAWAIIAN]

u would see every member of your family walk out the door but u would still check anyway

Then soon as you start, you hear them keys opening the front door.

 

[FLYINHAWAIIAN]

You ever be about to nut then they go to a shot of the dude face or they change to like a minute later in the video? Throws off the whole rhythm but you can't hold the nut in so now ya shyt cumin and you can't do nttn cuz you wanted to nut on this one part.

 

[Rozay Oro]

I was goin HAM to that alicia smiles (the nicki minaj look alike) when she gettin her titties shot up as they jiggle
idk why i decided to look back see moms like 2 yard sticks away with an awkward face

atm i was alarmed and what not
but im so shameless as soon as she dipped and i heard the door slam, reopened up that window
fukk a blueballs brehs

edit:
where the spoiler button for future use

 

[DreadHead P]

couple times, never when i was younger though, all my walk in happened as a grown man which might even make it worse
- back when me and my ex was shackin up I'm guessin she was on her cycle that day cause i remember being excited as hell about her leavin the house so i could fap, as soon as she left i stripped bucket naked and flopped on the couch, before I could even get to strokin good this broad walks back in the house

- my roommate caught me a couple months back, I was in my room fappin one day, had headphones on so i didn't hear him knockin on the door, he just walked in when i didn't answer

 

[Marco Zen]

Who gets caught jackin off??? Lol

...who swaps stories about it?? ... TMI!!!! That's like describing the texture and density of your bowel movement ... Share this with your girl or a doctor ONLY

 

[Solano707]

Gawd damn breh - that was pretty epic. Had me weak

When I was 13 or 14 I used to beat my meat downstairs on the family computer. I used to go home and skip class and chill at the house. Play video games and watch flicks, shyt was routine b. Well one day I skipped class and went straight for the booty talk I had torrented the night before....
I noticed something strange tho, usually when your torrent is done it seeds automatically. Found out it was canceled.....I'm like .....fukk it, maybe my connection went out? so I find another flick and go to work. And you know when you are beating your meat your senses is on some spiderman ish. I'm hearing something upstairs but its too late I'm too deep in the game to stop. And as soon I was about to I look up at the balcony at my moms door. I turned white brehs, my moms was on some

And before I can say a word my moms flew down stairs and beat the shyt out of me. With my dikk still out and everything ......worst beating I ever got. I woke up in my room, my TV and video games were all gone b. They moved the computer to their room...that was the last flick I saw until I was 17 brehs.

 

[Solano707]

I don't think I've ever directly been caught but my dad saw me doing other things that made him think i was.

First example:
It was late at night and I was in bed watching flavor of love with the lights off, about to go to sleep. At first they were just doing regular shyt, but then flav & one of the girls get in the shower. At this exact moment my dad walks in the hallway past my room & sees the shyt on my tv.
Dad: "Having fun? " or some shyt like that

Me: (I didnt get what he was talking about at the time)

2nd example:
We had the computer in its own separate room at my house. I had the door open & was on AOL looking at some of the headlines they had on the opening screen. One of them was a video of a commentator saying something about Serena William's ass, so of course I clicked that shyt . So the video plays & them my computer freezes right when the video zooms in on her ass. Then my dad walks in.
Dad: So this is why you're always on the computer

Me: Its not even like that, the video just froze

Dad: Its aight man. Nothing wrong with looking at some girls

Me:

My dad's always fukking with me talking about porn. If him & my mom come home & see me on the computer/laptop he'll be like "hey you watching porn again? "
I'll be like "nah dad"
"Its cool. I got some stuff if you ever wanna see it "
"real funny"

Cherish that shyt my nig - there's dad's out there that don't give a fukk about there kids... at least he's bonding with you in a way that you both relate to.