Ever Found A Family Member's Porn Stash?
- Thread starter iamstr8fire
- Start date
Non Sequitur
Creep.
Memories...
LOL.
I was investigating a breaking and entering when I was a cop. Me and my partner cleared the apartment. Suspect was gone but an apartment maintenance dude called 911. We looked around for any clues... and we found a huge dildo. No homo, it was the width of a Hickory Farms Summer sausage like if I grabbed it, my thumb and middle finger would barely touch.
Silver Surfer
Veteran
LOL.
I was investigating a breaking and entering when I was a cop. Me and my partner cleared the apartment. Suspect was gone but an apartment maintenance dude called 911. We looked around for any clues... and we found a huge dildo. No homo, it was the width of a Hickory Farms Summer sausage like if I grabbed it, my thumb and middle finger would barely touch.
Exactly..this shyt was huge...NO HOMO....I just remember my bru come in the room like "Doc...what's this?"..I was like
Probably the first embarrassing incident I can remember. I was probably about 9 or 10, and I stole a magazine from my older cousin, I think it was Juggs. One of those mags that didnt have many articles, just straight piff 
Anyway, I snuck it out my aunts and uncles under my waistband and shirt. Me and my parents get home and I run straight to the basement and hide the mag. My godparents end up coming over and their all chilling in the living room while I was downstairs "watching tv"(I distinctly remember the golden girls were on) My mom, the sneaky bytch that she is, decided to creep down the first few stairs and duck her head down to spy on me. I was in the zone 
when she yelled "what are you doing" 
and startled the shyt out of me She flew down the rest of the stairs and around the couch, snatching the mag out of my hands. Then getting called upstairs to get lectured and questioned by my mom and godmother 
all while my dad and godfather are like 
My mom called my aunt, and my cuz almost got in trouble. Then I got in trouble for lying and saying I found it in his garbage can, knowing damn well I took it from his drawer. 
Anyway, I snuck it out my aunts and uncles under my waistband and shirt. Me and my parents get home and I run straight to the basement and hide the mag. My godparents end up coming over and their all chilling in the living room while I was downstairs "watching tv"(I distinctly remember the golden girls were on) My mom, the sneaky bytch that she is, decided to creep down the first few stairs and duck her head down to spy on me. I was in the zone when she yelled "what are you doing" and startled the shyt out of me She flew down the rest of the stairs and around the couch, snatching the mag out of my hands. Then getting called upstairs to get lectured and questioned by my mom and godmother all while my dad and godfather are like My mom called my aunt, and my cuz almost got in trouble. Then I got in trouble for lying and saying I found it in his garbage can, knowing damn well I took it from his drawer. 
sanityovar8ted
OG Moma Coli....dat bytch Thowd!!!
No , but my 18 yr old.found my moms.vibrator, it was hilarious.
HalfwayHandsome
A WALKING LICK #502C0MEUP
Probably the first embarrassing incident I can remember. I was probably about 9 or 10, and I stole a magazine from my older cousin, I think it was Juggs. One of those mags that didnt have many articles, just straight piff
Damnnnnnnnnn
Steve Piffler
I got them CERTS
Probably the first embarrassing incident I can remember. I was probably about 9 or 10, and I stole a magazine from my older cousin, I think it was Juggs. One of those mags that didnt have many articles, just straight piff
i'm CRYING at work
Jone2three45
Superstar
My uncle just got out of prison,
staying at my gmas house.
We went over our gams house after school.
Went into the room were he was staying in.
Went thorough all the closet and dressers,
because thats what kids do when bored inside the house.
In the dresser,
we found a black porno mag.
First time seeing a full naked black woman.
he came in and saw what we was doing.
He took the mag,
looked at us and said,
this magazine is dope right.
Remind you we was in 3rd grade at the time.
But seeing a full naked black woman for the first time had a lil' n1gga
staying at my gmas house.
We went over our gams house after school.
Went into the room were he was staying in.
Went thorough all the closet and dressers,
because thats what kids do when bored inside the house.
In the dresser,
we found a black porno mag.
First time seeing a full naked black woman.
he came in and saw what we was doing.
He took the mag,
looked at us and said,
this magazine is dope right.
Remind you we was in 3rd grade at the time.
But seeing a full naked black woman for the first time had a lil' n1gga
Doctor Gonzo
Head full of acid
LOL.
I was investigating a breaking and entering when I was a cop. Me and my partner cleared the apartment. Suspect was gone but an apartment maintenance dude called 911. We looked around for any clues... and we found a huge dildo. No homo, it was the width of a Hickory Farms Summer sausage like if I grabbed it, my thumb and middle finger would barely touch.
Mr. Somebody
Friend Of A Friend
Perverted elders.
DamonDashsRocAFellaChain
How could a man say he has a boss and be proud?
Haha man the stories in here got me
I remember when I was about 11 or 12 my best friend found his mom's boyfriend's porn stash in a box on his balcony. Next day we skip school and ended up watching some 80's piff.
I was once at my aunt's house, chilling in my cousin's room watching TV on her bed when I feel something on my elbow. I lift up the pillow and find her dildo (she was 23 at the time). Also found her porn stash.
Around 13 or 14 we were at my boys house when his cousin found my boy's mom's dildo. I remember my boy was mad embarrassed when his cousin was trying to sniff it (his own aunt SMH)
and the last story is, my aunt used to have this neighbor who lived across the street from her with his wife for like 20 years. One day we see the cops raid her pad and take both of them to jail. A week later the wife is released and since she knew I was a good kid, she asked my aunt if I could go feed her dogs everyday while she deals with her legal issues (the husband was a psychiatrist and would force his wife and her niece, 17 year old, to have threesomes - wild shyt). So I go in there solo dolo and start snooping around, wanting to find some shyt the detectives couldn't. I go into homey's home office and find stacks of Playboys going back YEARS. Everyday I would happily go feed these sexual deviant's dogs and go check out Ms. June starting back from 1983.
I remember when I was about 11 or 12 my best friend found his mom's boyfriend's porn stash in a box on his balcony. Next day we skip school and ended up watching some 80's piff.
I was once at my aunt's house, chilling in my cousin's room watching TV on her bed when I feel something on my elbow. I lift up the pillow and find her dildo (she was 23 at the time). Also found her porn stash.
Around 13 or 14 we were at my boys house when his cousin found my boy's mom's dildo. I remember my boy was mad embarrassed when his cousin was trying to sniff it (his own aunt SMH)
and the last story is, my aunt used to have this neighbor who lived across the street from her with his wife for like 20 years. One day we see the cops raid her pad and take both of them to jail. A week later the wife is released and since she knew I was a good kid, she asked my aunt if I could go feed her dogs everyday while she deals with her legal issues (the husband was a psychiatrist and would force his wife and her niece, 17 year old, to have threesomes - wild shyt). So I go in there solo dolo and start snooping around, wanting to find some shyt the detectives couldn't. I go into homey's home office and find stacks of Playboys going back YEARS. Everyday I would happily go feed these sexual deviant's dogs and go check out Ms. June starting back from 1983.
The Amerikkkan Idol
The Amerikkkan Nightmare
My aunts and uncles had them Flintstones cartoon books where like Fred & Barney got big ol' dikks and are like swinging with Betty and Wilma.
I found that shyt in their basements and was like
I think I just found one in my father's stash one time with one of those corny ass Black titles when I was like 9 or 10. I wasn't even thinking about porn or sex back then, so I aint watch it.
I do remember walking in on my grandmother watching Skinemax on her cheater box one time.
It was after one of the Tyson fights or something, and I used to go over her house to watch pay-per-view because she had the "cheater box" and afterwards I left, but I forgot like my hat or something and had to come back like 15 minutes later and I had a key, so I let myself back in and my grandmother's up there watching "Skinemax" with like huge White girl titties bouncing and she's all of a sudden like "Oh my word, what is this on my television" and I"m like
nikka was on that "Dudley from Diff'rent Strokes" steez gettin' molested by the dude at the bike shop
I found that shyt in their basements and was like
I think I just found one in my father's stash one time with one of those corny ass Black titles when I was like 9 or 10. I wasn't even thinking about porn or sex back then, so I aint watch it.
I do remember walking in on my grandmother watching Skinemax on her cheater box one time.
It was after one of the Tyson fights or something, and I used to go over her house to watch pay-per-view because she had the "cheater box" and afterwards I left, but I forgot like my hat or something and had to come back like 15 minutes later and I had a key, so I let myself back in and my grandmother's up there watching "Skinemax" with like huge White girl titties bouncing and she's all of a sudden like "Oh my word, what is this on my television" and I"m like
Let's keep it 100 Breh, that old man molested y'all lil nikkas and paid you off with a PPV package
nikka was on that "Dudley from Diff'rent Strokes" steez gettin' molested by the dude at the bike shop
Hazard7696
Rookie
na but theyve found me lol