Ever go through periods of your life where it just feels like nothing is going right?

[Redwood]

Sounds like me all year.

 

[BlackAchilles]

Yeah that was ages 22-24 for me

 

[ReturnOfJudah]

It’s because you refuse to keep The Most High’s commandments

Deuteronomy 11:26
Behold, I set before you this day a blessing and a curse;

 

[boriquaking]

All the time.

 

[Fatboi1]

There are DAYS like that but for me I don't typically feel like I have entire months/years where everything is going bad.

 

[AAKing23]

Dp

 

[AAKing23]

I'm in that shyt right now. Most of it is due to my laziness, though. I'm not doing what I want with my life, im smitten with a chick for the first time in ages and shes taken, my motivation is low,
my work ethic is the liquid shyts, and every important event nowadays seems to come with some ill-fated nonsense.

I don't even understand why it is that happens, but im most frustrated because my lack of success is making me lose motivation to work my way out, which means even less success, which
means less motivation...nahmean?

You too breh

 

[O.T.I.S.]

shyt comes from a real place, unfortunately. And while I'm normally the type to keep my burdens to myself while shouldering that of others, this thread spoke to me and what I'm going through currently and I just had to take a deep breath and vent. I'mma be ok, though.



Breh, you practically my doppleganger at this point in terms of the shyt we goin' through and we either got to meet up to shoot a to the death fair one or agree to live on different side of the globe lest we cancel each other out.

The red bolded is another current aspect of my life that has me thoroughly pissed off 'cause it's like folk only know me when they want shyt done or to borrow money for fukk that don't ever pan out the way they write it up when they got they sales pitches going and to top it off, what little money I'm getting currently, going in to trying to hold me and my shyt down, but it's like nobody ain't seeing that shyt and still steady rolling up on me with they fukking hands out, it's sickening.

It's to the point where I've stopped answering my phone when certain folk call, only to get a call from an unknown number or a blocked number 'cause they trying to fish and see if I'm ignoring 'em; makes me kinda mad that I got a phone 'cause I was so against these shyts around the Blackberry days when Instant Messenger and Email were popping.

Now while I ain't exactly lonely I'd be lying if I said I didn't want a female to lay on, get my ear rubbed/bitten and and just slip off to sleep ensconced in intimate comfort and wake up to someone that understands or willing to do so in my corner, but I know I will not find that (again, had it and lost/threw it away too many times, maybe this is penance?) while being tethered here by all these familial obligations I'm dealing with, the issues I'm having with my fam and these folks and how increasingly annoyed I am with most everyone and everything around me since they annoyed with me when I got to raise my voice over how I'm being treated, used and perceived more than half the time.

I'm an expert at keeping to myself, and like you, I'm often the shoulder folks come to cry and whinge to, so it ain't like as if I've established the need to want to be hugged/consoled by other folk, and I know that, but even common courtesy such as "I care" or "I got you, homey." on some genuine shyt short of one or two friends be really got me out here like "And we supposed to be family?" when I look at alot of people I done woke up earlier than Jesus to help, folk I done slipped money out of hiding places I ain't supposed to touch to help, folk I done had to do dirt for, help cover up dirt with, help dig (sometimes literally) and all kind of other mental/labour intensive shyt and just get a passing "Ah, yeah, thanks." in the moment type shyt ass response.

That's why I'm lowkey glad I found weed later on in life (Be around weed for two decades and finally learn how to inhale at 30 brehs.) 'cause I'd prolly turn to abusing rather than experimenting with Hallucinogens like I normally do when I'm on vacation and have enough free time to get high, enjoy myself and come down without having to be put DIRECTLY back into the grind or any stress. It's to the point where I feel like a junkie waiting for the weekend to come so I can turn off my phone, spark up and just lay back in my smoke spot in the bushes, hit play on whatever playlist I made and just escape in music and high thoughts and just chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil.

Escapism, I know, but fukk it, don't we all need a break?

Deadass how I feel.

Just this morning taking my grandmother to the hospital, got into ANOTHER arguement with my grandad because I asked my aunt for the directions...

I was like nikka, STFU! I wanna use my GPS because im in traffic not trying to listen to you to tell me when to turn at the last minute and shyt

Im deadass gonna get faded when I get home and nobody better not say shyt to me. Gonna find somewhere to sit and chill in my car. It's literally the only thing I look forward to sometimes.

I definitely cutting my fukking phone off as well.

I was actually ready to fade someone earlier too. All these nikkas with these fukking attitudes and Im not in no mood for this shyt.

 

[O.T.I.S.]

It’s because you refuse to keep The Most High’s commandments

Deuteronomy 11:26
Behold, I set before you this day a blessing and a curse;

So what commandment am I supposedly missing

 

[Redwood]

Deadass how I feel.

Just this morning taking my grandmother to the hospital, got into ANOTHER arguement with my grandad because I asked my aunt for the directions...

I was like nikka, STFU! I wanna use my GPS because im in traffic not trying to listen to you to tell me when to turn at the last minute and shyt

Im deadass gonna get faded when I get home and nobody better not say shyt to me. Gonna find somewhere to sit and chill in my car. It's literally the only thing I look forward to sometimes.

I definitely cutting my fukking phone off as well.

I was actually ready to fade someone earlier too. All these nikkas with these fukking attitudes and Im not in no mood for this shyt.

I've been feeling the same way

 

[King Jae]

Yeah...when I left my ex wife couple years ago...shyt was ugly... sleeping on my mom's floor Alla that shyt....just finally and painfully climbin out that hole these past couple months.. prayer, pounds of weed collectively and podcasting kept me sane thru that...not gonna lie shyt like an anticlimax....things getting better but shyt beIN fukked up so long u doubt every triumph....u gotta reprogram ur brain to accept the good in ur life and only focus on that...hold ya head tho bruh

 

[Address_Unknown]

Deadass how I feel.

Just this morning taking my grandmother to the hospital, got into ANOTHER arguement with my grandad because I asked my aunt for the directions...

I was like nikka, STFU! I wanna use my GPS because im in traffic not trying to listen to you to tell me when to turn at the last minute and shyt

Im deadass gonna get faded when I get home and nobody better not say shyt to me. Gonna find somewhere to sit and chill in my car. It's literally the only thing I look forward to sometimes.

I definitely cutting my fukking phone off as well.

I was actually ready to fade someone earlier too. All these nikkas with these fukking attitudes and Im not in no mood for this shyt.

Done been had to deal with dudes looking to crowd around me telling me I got it to give 'cause I work, as one nikka so eloquently put it. Now they mad 'cause I ain't giving it up with they bogus promises to flip the cash into profit and they tired buddy buddy routines when they don't even break bread with me when they got it.

Even though I'm starting from now, next year gotta represent a new change for me and how I deal with folk. fukk the hard luck stories, fukk the fake nikkas looking to come up on my shyt, fukk family up to this point, I'm taking care of ME, especially since nobody else gonna do that shyt.

Working on myself physically and mentally. Buying loud and stacking bank once I pull myself out this debt I'm in, putting aside money to start travelling again, doing all the shyt that makes me happy instead of worrying about other folk when they show up at my door with they handout.

Also I need to start travelling again, like seriously. I'm at my best when I'm far away from this place, on my own doing fukk all and a large part of why I'm unhappy right now is 'cause them adventures ceased. I'm actually a bit optimistic on this change I'm looking to put forth but I gotta put the work in lest it turns into just another daydream like so much shyt in my life, currently.

But for now, man. Turn your phone off and pour up. I know I am. fukk 'em.

 

[ReturnOfJudah]

So what commandment am I supposedly missing

Open the book and figure it out

 

[flah_neon]

thats nuts I been there before.........like racks on racks on racks of shyt happening..........but that shyt turns around and when it turn around you'll be like ight what's next...........crazy shyt is..........it'll happen again..........it's never smooth sailing........but you gotta keep that fight rocky

yup. last week i had to shell out 1k to get my car fixed in the middle of no where an hour from my house. was snowing my breaks locked up as i was going down a hill through an intersection. i had to either hit a truck or a sign and went with the sign and over 2 curbs. had to get my car towed down the street, oil pan replacement and new spark plugs. a fukking grand!

i’m working a new job that i started last week that i hate. it’s just something until i can start my apprenticeship with the union somewhere between 4-12 weeks from now. the money is shyt and the work is tedious.. carbon fiber vacuumed baging infusion. my co workers all barely speak english which sucks learning from someone who you can barely understand

i owe 5k to a college i attended for like two weeks. got some credit card debt

i’m never going to pay off my debt. i for context, i get almost 200 in food stamps but i give the card to my mom to buy food since the family is struggling since my dad cheated on my mom and isn’t living here no more. my grandpa and my mentally challenged brother mom and me live in the house and helping my mom out leaves me broke.

even once i start the job with the union and will be making way more money, better benefits, health insurance and pay off debt etc i feel like i’m stuck. i want to get out on my own and get my own crib but i feel like i’d be abandoning my mom and she hinted at me that it’s selfish of me to want to do that considering she’s struggling and will be for awhile. i just feel like my mom is dependent on me emotionally as well. i’m like her personal therapist and it gets old. she got issues from child hood trauma and i’m the person who’s always there for her to lay them on. when i lived in florida she begged me back. i’m her baby, my sister dipped when she got preggo at 15/16 and my bro isn’t exactly mentally there enough to be a shoulder to lean on. my dad never was. but it gets tiring. i’m fukking 28. i wanna get my life going, get my own place and most parents would encourage that.. not my mom. she encourages me to live at home forever. i hate it snd i know it’s for her own personal gain.

i just feel like whenever i take a step forward life always fukks me over and pushed me two steps back

also doesn’t help that i struggle with manic depression. i just feel like whatever i’m trying to do is useless. either way i’ll be stuck

 

[Flywin Lannister]

Yesterday, Bad Weather really has a way of fukking my mood up.

Longest period feeling like that was probably at 19 getting fired from my call center job not knowing wtf I was going to do.

And what did you end up doing in the end?