Exactly what's wrong with a long engagement (5-10 years)

[onelastdeath]

You just said without a ring.

An engagement is an agreement or arrangement to do something at a set time.

You should decide that before you ask. The engagement is not to figure that out. That is what dating is for. The engagement is you have decided and are ready to set the date.

No it's not. It means that you have agreed to get married. It doesn't mean that there's a set date.

 

[Elle Driver]

I could ask the same of the female. What does it matter when we get married? You don't see yourself with me for 10 years? 10 years with me without a ring is a waste of time?

Why give an engagement ring in the first place then?

 

[onelastdeath]

Why give an engagement ring in the first place then?

Because you love the person and you want to marry them. Why does it matter WHEN it happens, as long as it's going to?

 

[Raava]

Don't be so cruel

*Dave Chapelle Rick James voice *

"Cooold blooded"

 

[L&HH]

Idk about 10 years but I for some reason always thought 2-5 was standard. Until this past year so many people started getting engaged and then married 6-8 months later had me like

 

[onelastdeath]

If you are with someone 6+ years you might as well be married. Either you are going to commit all the way or not. Trying to prolong that just seems like you are unsure and waiting for something to happen so you can get out of it. I don't see the point in asking someone to marry you if you aren't ready to do it then and there. If you aren't, you aren't sure so don't ask.

Because you aren't married doesn't mean you aren't committed, and because you're married doesn't mean you are.

 

[Dafunkdoc_Unlimited]

It takes 10-15 years to become a doctor.

It takes 2 years to decide what college you want to go to.

10 years is too long to decide if you want to open yourself up to financial rape and spend the rest of your life with one person? Really?

Stop it. We're not talking about attending classes to become educated in a subject. We're talking about going to your Municipality and having a Justice-of-the-Peace sign a piece of paper.

You're bullshytting because you don't want to get married.

Just tell her and stop making excuses.
​

 

[concise]

It takes 10-15 years to become a doctor.

It takes 2 years to decide what college you want to go to.

10 years is too long to decide if you want to open yourself up to financial rape and spend the rest of your life with one person? Really?

Terrible analogies.
It takes 10-15 years to become a doctor because training is intense and long. The actual decision to become one was made long before that. The length of the journey is known before making that commitment.

Being engaged indefinitely with no actual idea of when it's going to happen is a silly concept. You have made no actual decision. There is no long road to getting married like there is to be a doctor. All you have to do is go to a courthouse, fill out an application for a license, pay a fee.

If you decide to get engaged, that would imply that you want to get married. If you're scared about marriage or don't want to get married, why not get in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to bother with it? Those people are out there.

 

[Elle Driver]

Because you love the person and you want to marry them. Why does it matter WHEN it happens, as long as it's going to?

Because the whole point of an engagement is that you INTEND to get married at a certain date. The entire premise of an engagement comes from courtship, you are courting someone for marriage, get engaged and have a set date for marriage. If you don't even have a set date just do like many people do and don't even get married, just be in an LTR.

 

[Raava]

No it's not. It means that you have agreed to get married. It doesn't mean that there's a set date.

Address what else was said.

 

[freetroit]

If she really loves you she. Wont be pressed to marry you


Only a bytch that dont love you will force you to sign a lifetime contract you have a small chance to benefit from

 

[onelastdeath]

Terrible analogies.
It takes 10-15 years to become a doctor because training is intense and long. The actual decision to become one was made long before that. The length of the journey is known before making that commitment.

Being engaged indefinitely with no actual idea of when it's going to happen is a silly concept. You have made no actual decision. There is no long road to getting married like there is to be a doctor. All you have to do is go to a courthouse, fill out an application for a license, pay a fee.

If you decide to get engaged, that would imply that you want to get married. If you're scared about marriage or don't want to get married, why not get in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to bother with it? Those people are out there.

I could easily say that a 10 year engagement is intense relationship training to insure a successful marriage. The same way that the decision to get married was made well before that

 

[Raava]

Because you aren't married doesn't mean you aren't committed, and because you're married doesn't mean you are.

Dude. Bottom line, if you haven't decided that's who you want to marry then don't ask. You don't ask then decide. That makes no sense.

 

[Elle Driver]

I mean where do you think the concept of betrothal comes from?

 

[onelastdeath]

Dude. Bottom line, if you haven't decided that's who you want to marry then don't ask. You don't ask then decide. That makes no sense.

No bottom line. Clearly that's the person you want to marry if you gave them the engagement ring. The question is, why does it matter when it happens if it's going to happen?