Father on the phone don't want to deal with his kids anymore after being put on child support

[Giselle]

That's so ironic.

I recently found out I was adopted after my father died in 2021.

Connected with my birth mother and absolutely understood her reasons for why she needed to give me a chance at a better life.

It worked out for her and me.

We are now talking everyday.

Wow! Were you upset at first? Were you adopted by family or strangers?

& if you can understand a woman abandoning her child through adoption how can you not understand a man abandoning his child? Possibly giving them a better life by not being there just like some women do.

 

[Dallas' 4 Eva]

How does the custodial parent spend more money outside of groceries & water bill?

They really don't. That lie needs to stop being spread around as a fact. They never factor in that the child jeeds clothes and food and shyt when they are with the non custodial parent as well, which in many cases is damn near just as often as they are with the custodial parent.

 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Im on child support for 3 of my kids, and when you think about it like THIS, it makes it better...just gotta be a lil more Frugal,and let them know ain't no more Toys, video games and eating out all the time like before.

Why y'all end up breaking up?

 

[DPresidential]

Wow! Were you upset at first? Were you adopted by family or strangers?

& if you can understand a woman abandoning her child through adoption how can you not understand a man abandoning his child? Possibly giving them a better life by not being there just like some women do.

Not upset at all.

Spoiler: Brief version of my story

Now, my situation was very unique and fortunate.

My mother had gone through Catholic Charities; which was an organization that would encourage mothers not to abort and not to abandon their child. After a lot of deep contemplation, she ultimately decided to start that process. They took care of her for the last few months of her pregnancy in housing that was connected to the Bronx hospital I was born at.

The parents who adopted me were amazing. I have many cousins who were adopted and who expressed heartbreak and disappointment with finding out they were adopted. Not me. I was raised in a beautiful home and the way I describe the revelation of my adoption is like having the bonus features at the end of the DVD movie you loved.

I can go into more about how I found out I was adopted in a DM or in another thread. I don't want to go too off topic.

So, the fact that my birth mother felt, at the time I was in her womb, that she would not be able to provide the life she felt I deserved - she made a decision that was well thought out and morally intentional. She vetted the situation and could reasonably argue that there was a higher probability that adoption would leave me in a better situation.

That is significantly different from a man who has been providing for his child, showing a serious presence in said child's life and abruptly makes an emotionally charged decision to make the children suffer as a way of a "get back" at the mother of his child. There is no serious perspective in which we could argue that this father made a well-reasoned choice that would help his children emotionally, psychologically and financially.

He DAMAGED these kids. There is no way around that fact.

The way he spoke about their mother was wild and no child should hear that. The way he could possibly cut his children out of his life in that way sets up the ground work for the children to expect relationships to go as normal. That's a terrible future for those kids and whoever may potentially get involved with them.

 

[old pig]

ugh disgusting…should’ve stayed away and not clicked the vid as I originally intended smh

 

[AllHolosEve]

It sounds like you picked trash women tbh, bc why don’t they have custody? And is what you’re doing vs what they’re doing documented just in case they try to take you to court? Does the court know you have primary custody so they won’t come back later and try to take the kids?

-All my kids are with the same woman, we were together about 12 years. I raised the kids the majority of their lives & when they got older they wanted to be back with my side. The kids are grown & we get along so the court's not in our business anymore.

 

[Wildhundreds]

They really don't. That lie needs to stop being spread around as a fact. They never factor in that the child jeeds clothes and food and shyt when they are with the non custodial parent as well, which in many cases is damn near just as often as they are with the custodial parent.

Can the kid take clothes with them when they switch households?

 

[Dallas' 4 Eva]

Can the kid take clothes with them when they switch households?

I guess they can. I don't need clothes my son has clothes, food, and toys over here. I also have to pay to have him in child care also when I have him. Child support is bullshyt bro, me being on child support actually takes away from me being able to take care of him, it doesn't benefit him at all.

 

[Yaboysix]

Why y'all end up breaking up?

Man, we were each other's Firsts,High school shyt... I went off to explore, 12 years Later we completely different type or people... My son tells me she smokes and drinks,blows all her money on Weed... We NEVER did that while we were together.

 

[Stick Up Kid]

terrible parenting

 

[AllHolosEve]

i mean.... you choose who you choose to be the parents of the child. if you knew they have a hard time in the workplace or made significantly less than you it is what it is.
but if you are not there with the child every single day, then there is occasion for all of those needs to arise and a need for cash. if you dont have the kids 7 days a week, a situation might come where they are somewhere and need food. a situation might come where they need to be transported somewhere, etc. should a parent have to call the other parent to come take the kid to get food everytime that occasion arises just because you feel some way about just giving cash in hand? that seem a bit overbearing which is weird because you all like to claim that women do this to keep a leash on you. but you seem to want to involve yourself in every transaction (like... do you seriously pay your child's mothers bills instead of just giving her part of the money? that doesn't seem awkward to you to be that involved?)

maybe that's why parents involve the system. maybe some don't want to have to wait or ask or depend on the other person to come around and "go shopping" in order to have sufficient care for the kid. maybe they'd rather just get the monthly, bimonthly payment and go on about their business.

maybe a way to feel better about it and move forward would be for people to see it how it actually is, you are giving them cash for the KID, not "giving them cash"

-You're literally "giving them cash" with no guarantee it's used "for the KID" & I didn't help her with her bills. Our conversations would go like this...

Her: The kids need XYZ, can I come get some money.
Me: I gotta go to the ATM, I'll grab XYZ while I'm out & you can pick it up.
Her: Why do you have to buy it, why can't you just give me the money?
Me: I'm not doing this with you, do you want XYZ or not?
Her: No. If you won't just give me the cash forget it.

-She let other women convince her she could call me up whenever, claim she needed something & get money from me. That's not how it goes.

 

[Firefly]

That kid probably more mature than he is

 

[scorpino]

He’s fukked up and he’s angry but I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he’ll be back in his kids lives

 

[BandOfGypsys]

So fukking sad for these kids.

These children are not the mother. You are a straight bytch made nikka if you claim you care for your kids and do shyt like this.


"I'd kill for my kids."

Yea? Well, would you be willing to put up with an annoying ass woman for your kids?

No? Well, fukk you. You were never real.

That right here is the real test, anybody can kill for their kids but putting up without a crazy/annoying women for your kids is something different. It takes a level of manhood, patients, discipline and perspective that I just don't have yet. I couldn't do it and honestly alot of "men in our society can't . Bytch will fvck around and find out nikkas can't put up with that shyt and end up a single mother.

 

[Solo_87]

Sad. Incomprehensible frfr

Every situation is different but all this I need to know where all my money going is alil petty to me too

Know some women are spiteful and take advantage...but the mindset some men have is toxic as well

Raising a child expensive period. The child support system can be a bytch...but fact is raising a child is far more taxing for a custodial parent vs non custodial ... not just the financial toll, but emotionally and mentally

For my non fathers, if the idea of your future babymomma/ex using the money you gave her to get her nails done every now and then angers you even tho ur child wants for nothing just dont have kids...