Fellas, I need your perspective…

[O.T.I.S.]

Would you let your ex-wife pay for everything over 5 days?

If I or my people didn’t have it and my kids were also going to be at my sisters funeral, sure.

The ex-wife was/is a part of family, no? Did the ex-wife not know the sister? Did the kids not know their auntie?

Let me put you in my perspective: My mother and father had been divorced for 20+ years, and when my grandma died, my mother was at the funeral consoling my father. So was his other ex-wife, my step-mother.

 

[Shadow King]

If I or my people didn’t have it and my kids were also going to be at my sisters funeral, sure.

The ex-wife was/is a part of family, no?

Well according to sis, he has it.

I guess I'm just different then. I'm not letting my ex pay my way for no reason least of all if money is not an issue.

 

[Who Not How]

Bruh all this could still be set but if she’s moving out of insecurity of some past shyt, then it’s not going to matter.

People got to stop blaming just men and be honest about shyt like this because she has some personal shyt she needs to work on.

I’m not going to blame a dude who’s sister just passed away.

And honestly, I don’t trust shyt her sister says. If you cuss anyone out during a time of grieving then you have a very limited amount of empathy/soul for people and probably would lie, cheat, and steal to get to your goal.

shyt seemed like she was mad that his attention was not on her at all times.

The possibility of something bad happening should never convince you to not be the best version of yourself.

This is like people saying "I could die in a car accident tomorrow, why eat healthy"

Too many "Ifs" and "Buts" when I see these discussions. A woman's behavior that you choose to entertain should not influence you on being a real man.

So IF a woman does act up and you gotta cut her off, she can't say a damn thing about you because you did what you were suppose to do. Who cares if she leaves, that's means you gotta better woman coming to you.

 

[O.T.I.S.]

The possibility of something bad happening should never compel you to not be the best version of yourself.

This is like people saying "I could die in a car accident tomorrow, why eat healthy"

Too many "Ifs" and "Buts" when I see these discussions. A woman's behavior should not influence you on being a real man.

So IF a woman does act up and you gotta cut her off, she can't say a damn thing about you because you did what you were suppose to do. Who cares if she leaves, that's means you gotta better woman coming to you.

Well according to sis, he has it.

I guess I'm just different then. I'm not letting my ex pay my way for no reason least of all if money is not an issue.

So who’s word are we taking that the ex-wife paying for EVERYTHING… the gf, right? Does she sound like someone you would believe?

A bitter, insecure woman without all the details of the situation…

And maybe the ex-wife paid for flights because she was already booking them and they were all going together? Maybe she had a discount… Maybe she had decency or heart enough to do something like that knowing him and her kids are mourning.

Honestly, why give a fukk. Do yall think she was paying for an expensive vacation to the Bahamas or some shyt?

And even if he had it, how much money has the man given the mother of children in the past? Buying a ticket isn’t shyt in this situation I’m sure.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

My husband said, why the fukk is the ex even in the equation?! He said if somebody in his family died, and I couldn’t make it, da fukk does that have to do with an ex?

I agree. The fact that the ex was even mentioned is a problem.

First off, exes need to stay in the past. The ex was disrespectful for stepping over those boundaries and using the death of a family member to do so.
The boyfriend was goofy for even entertaining this nonsense.

Family events are for couples. If the ex happened to be there b/c she was close to the family, then cool. But paying for shyt for somebody else’s man when he can do so himself and overstepping respectful boundaries means either a.) she too dumb to see how inappropriate that is or b.) she is plotting.

But even more problematic is HIS behavior. It’s the responsibility of the person in the relationship to establish and maintain respectful boundaries with outsiders even though they may try you. If HE doesn’t see how inappropriate it is for an ex to do all of this, then HE is either dangerously stupid or complicit in plotting some bs.

Either way, she was right to end it. People use these shyt tests to see how much disrespect they can get away with for later larger transgressions. If someone passes away on my family and an ex made that kind of offer for me in my husband’s absence, I’d say “hell nah” and my husband would probably divorce me over night if I didn’t.

And we aren’t even jealous people.

 

[Who Not How]

So who’s word are we taking that the ex-wife paying for EVERYTHING… the gf, right? Does she sound like someone you would believe?

A bitter, insecure woman without all the details of the situation…

And maybe the ex-wife paid for flights because she was already booking them and they were all going together? Maybe she had a discount… Maybe she had decency or heart enough to do something like that knowing him and her kids are mourning.

Honestly, why give a fukk. Do yall think she was paying for an expensive vacation to the Bahamas or some shyt?

And even if he had it, how much money has the man given the mother of children in the past? Buying a ticket isn’t shyt in this situation I’m sure.

I understand your point bruh.

We are getting all the info from the OP and obviously she wants people to side with her sister and her. I already said the sister was wrong for breaking up over the phone and overreacting but she’s a woman, I expect women to be emotional and make hasty decisions because of those emotions.

I’m not taking this story that seriously tho bruh lol. I doubt we have the full story but knowing people, I’m sure the man and woman are both insecure and don’t need to be together so it’s good it’s over.

 

[Studious one]

My husband said, why the fukk is the ex even in the equation?! He said if somebody in his family died, and I couldn’t make it, da fukk does that have to do with an ex?

I agree. The fact that the ex was even mentioned is a problem.

First off, exes need to stay in the past. The ex was disrespectful for stepping over those boundaries and using the death of a family member to do so.
The boyfriend was goofy for even entertaining this nonsense.

Family events are for couples. If the ex happened to be there b/c she was close to the family, then cool. But paying for shyt for somebody else’s man when he can do so himself and overstepping respectful boundaries means either a.) she too dumb to see how inappropriate that is or b.) she is plotting.

But even more problematic is HIS behavior. It’s the responsibility of the person in the relationship to establish and maintain respectful boundaries with outsiders even though they may try you. If HE doesn’t see how inappropriate it is for an ex to do all of this, then HE is either dangerously stupid or complicit in plotting some bs.

Either way, she was right to end it. People use these shyt tests to see how much disrespect they can get away with for later larger transgressions. If someone passes away on my family and an ex made that kind of offer for me in my husband’s absence, I’d say “hell nah” and my husband would probably divorce me over night if I didn’t.

And we aren’t even jealous people.

I was waiting for your insight. As far as the X, they have children together, so that was the reason for her to go. I guess. The paying for the shyt is straight up suspect though, I don’t care what anybody say. Also, I feel that, he did handle it wrong because there’s no way he could’ve not seen that there was going to be an issue at some point with the shyt.

 

[Studious one]

I understand your point bruh.

We are getting all the info from the OP and obviously she wants people to side with her sister and her. I already said the sister was wrong for breaking up over the phone and overreacting but she’s a woman, I expect women to be emotional and make hasty decisions because of those emotions.

I’m not taking this story that seriously tho bruh lol. I doubt we have the full story but knowing people, I’m sure the man and woman are both insecure and don’t need to be together so it’s good it’s over.

No, I don’t. I want realistic, perspectives, and that’s why I came on here. I don’t even side with my sister. I’m just saying that oh boy could’ve handled the situation better. Why does right and wrong is wrong. She is wrong for getting so angry and ending the shyt, that is correct. He is wrong for not establishing boundaries.

 

[Shadow King]

If I or my people didn’t have it and my kids were also going to be at my sisters funeral, sure.

The ex-wife was/is a part of family, no? Did the ex-wife not know the sister? Did the kids not know their auntie?

Let me put you in my perspective: My mother and father had been divorced for 20+ years, and when my grandma died, my mother was at the funeral consoling my father. So was his other ex-wife, my step-mother.

To address the edit, the exwife simply being present at a funeral is not the issue.

So who’s word are we taking that the ex-wife paying for EVERYTHING… the gf, right? Does she sound like someone you would believe?

A bitter, insecure woman without all the details of the situation…

And maybe the ex-wife paid for flights because she was already booking them and they were all going together? Maybe she had a discount… Maybe she had decency or heart enough to do something like that knowing him and her kids are mourning.

Honestly, why give a fukk. Do yall think she was paying for an expensive vacation to the Bahamas or some shyt?

And even if he had it, how much money has the man given the mother of children in the past?

According to OP, breh in question has previously behaved the same way and I don't care about that, but if you're trying to use the personalities of people you don't know to outline who's wrong, then breh is closer to her equal than not.

Breh apparently told his GF himself, this isn't speculation on her part. We're going off of what's been told, and again, she did not simply pay for his flight tickets. A rental and hotel over 5 days is also apparently on her, I don't care if I'm grieving or not, as a man that comes across odd to just sit back and accept that. All of that can be on her account for the sake of executing the booking, Cashapp/Zelle/Venmo/Apple Pay/PayPal allows him to cover a portion. This wasn't told and likely didn't happen.

This isn't about him lying about going to a funeral. This is about shorty seeing this as a potential scenario where a reconnection between them is possible, whether the ex's willingness to cover all his accomodations is a sign of it pre-existing, or an initial step.

Yes, it wasn't handled horribly and hastily. But yes, she also had a right for that, for a lack of better word, transaction to concern her.

I'm not gonna let my annoyance with the negative traits of general female nature blind me to what makes sense out of what's expected from spoken-for person.

She found the perfect red button to eject herself and bro will be better off.

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

Would you let your ex-wife pay for everything over 5 days?

I believe she paid for the flight. And like I said, for logistics-reasons, that makes sense. Y'all all going to the same place, he can be on the plane with his children, and they can be on the plane with their dad during a sad time of grieving for the family.

That makes sense to me.

I don't know if I believe that she paid for his rental car and all that other stuff.

Like, why would that even come up in a conversation with OP's sister? If I was in that situation and my ex was paying for all of that stuff, do you think I would even tell my current girl this?

I wouldn't even mention it. As a breh said earlier in this thread, OP's sister is an unreliable narrator.

Not calling her a liar, but @Passionate1! already said that she fudged some details out of not wanting to feel embarrassed when telling the story.

Then if she would fudge details, it's not far fetched to me that she would also exaggerate details to try to justify her selfish behavior (going off and cussing a dude out who just lost his sister, when she supposed to be his gf).

I don't think the ex wife paid for anything besides the flight. I think OP's sister is exaggerating and made up the part about her paying for the rental car.

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

So who’s word are we taking that the ex-wife paying for EVERYTHING… the gf, right? Does she sound like someone you would believe?

A bitter, insecure woman without all the details of the situation…

And maybe the ex-wife paid for flights because she was already booking them and they were all going together? Maybe she had a discount… Maybe she had decency or heart enough to do something like that knowing him and her kids are mourning.

Honestly, why give a fukk. Do yall think she was paying for an expensive vacation to the Bahamas or some shyt?

And even if he had it, how much money has the man given the mother of children in the past? Buying a ticket isn’t shyt in this situation I’m sure.

We came to the same conclusion before I even read your post.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

I was waiting for your insight. As far as the X, they have children together, so that was the reason for her to go. I guess. The paying for the shyt is straight up suspect though, I don’t care what anybody say. Also, I feel that, he did handle it wrong because there’s no way he could’ve not seen that there was going to be an issue at some point with the shyt.

Yeah, her going isn’t the issue. Her injecting and attaching herself to her ex when he is in a relationship is totally inappropriate and him going along with it is ridiculous.

The fact that this is even a thing is just shytty.Tell your sister to run. She does NOT want somebody with those types of inappropriate bonds with an ex.

If a chick’s baby daddy pulled some shyt like this, most dudes would NOT be cool with it and for good reason.
That’s just my two cents.

Hope you are doing well and kudos to sis for exiting from a difficult union.

 

[Shadow King]

I believe she paid for the flight. And like I said, for logistics-reasons, that makes sense. Y'all all going to the same place, he can be on the plane with his children, and they can be on the plane with their dad during a sad time of grieving for the family.

That makes sense to me.

I don't know if I believe that she paid for his rental car and all that other stuff.

Like, why would that even come up in a conversation with OP's sister? If I was in that situation and my ex was paying for all of that stuff, do you think I would even tell my current girl this?

I wouldn't even mention it. As a breh said earlier in this thread, OP's sister is an unreliable narrator.

Not calling her a liar, but @Passionate1! already said that she fudged some details out of not wanting to feel embarrassed when telling the story.

Then if she would fudge details, it's not far fetched to me that she would also exaggerate details to try to justify her selfish behavior (going off and cussing a dude out who just lost his sister, when she supposed to be his gf).

I don't think the ex wife paid for anything besides the flight. I think OP's sister is exaggerating and made up the part about her paying for the rental car.

Nah you bending this to make sure shorty is completely in the red. There's nothing suggesting the rental and hotel was made up by her, if so, why would she give the details of "he insisted he's staying with his other sister"?

If we're using character breh has shown his own insecurities so that's here nor there.

 

[Studious one]

I believe she paid for the flight. And like I said, for logistics-reasons, that makes sense. Y'all all going to the same place, he can be on the plane with his children, and they can be on the plane with their dad during a sad time of grieving for the family.

That makes sense to me.

I don't know if I believe that she paid for his rental car and all that other stuff.

Like, why would that even come up in a conversation with OP's sister? If I was in that situation and my ex was paying for all of that stuff, do you think I would even tell my current girl this?

I wouldn't even mention it. As a breh said earlier in this thread, OP's sister is an unreliable narrator.

Not calling her a liar, but @Passionate1! already said that she fudged some details out of not wanting to feel embarrassed when telling the story.

Then if she would fudge details, it's not far fetched to me that she would also exaggerate details to try to justify her selfish behavior (going off and cussing a dude out who just lost his sister, when she supposed to be his gf).

I don't think the ex wife paid for anything besides the flight. I think OP's sister is exaggerating and made up the part about her paying for the rental car.

She paid for the flights, the rental, and hotel. He supposedly staying at the other sister house.

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

My husband said, why the fukk is the ex even in the equation?! He said if somebody in his family died, and I couldn’t make it, da fukk does that have to do with an ex?

I agree. The fact that the ex was even mentioned is a problem.

First off, exes need to stay in the past. The ex was disrespectful for stepping over those boundaries and using the death of a family member to do so.
The boyfriend was goofy for even entertaining this nonsense.

Family events are for couples. If the ex happened to be there b/c she was close to the family, then cool. But paying for shyt for somebody else’s man when he can do so himself and overstepping respectful boundaries means either a.) she too dumb to see how inappropriate that is or b.) she is plotting.

But even more problematic is HIS behavior. It’s the responsibility of the person in the relationship to establish and maintain respectful boundaries with outsiders even though they may try you. If HE doesn’t see how inappropriate it is for an ex to do all of this, then HE is either dangerously stupid or complicit in plotting some bs.

Either way, she was right to end it. People use these shyt tests to see how much disrespect they can get away with for later larger transgressions. If someone passes away on my family and an ex made that kind of offer for me in my husband’s absence, I’d say “hell nah” and my husband would probably divorce me over night if I didn’t.

And we aren’t even jealous people.

I agree with the bolded. Ole boy messed up by even mentioning it to his current gf. I never would have said it. And I learned that lesson the hard way as a young man. Men gotta stop being so chatty patty. There was no reason to even mention that to his current gf.

I can see the fact that the ex was gonna be there coming up in conversation cause he might say something about spending time with his children and then his current is asking "oh the children are there? They staying with you?" And that would have led to a bad situation.

But all I would have said was that she was gonna be there. My current would not need to know that she paid for my flight, that we was on the same flight, or no kinds of details about the situation... especially if I know that my current is a jealous individual.

With that being said, again... I had to learn this lesson the hard way. So maybe this is him learning the hard way.