Found my bio "father's" Facebook (rant)

[Tom Foolery]

His dad was claiming him as a dependent on his taxes while not being in his life at all. I don't care what the moms did, that is foul. Why does he get the benefit of the doubt.

You're not giving anyone the benefit the doubt. It would make sense to touch base with his mother before he reaches out to him.

Keep her in the loop just in case.

 

[AldavisAlbundyAllah!]

I didn't actually use "Father", I used his real name in the Facebook message to her. I didn't want to put personal info in here.

You prolly right tho, less is more. I thought she would have wanted clarification of the situation.

Ahhh ok, makes sense.

I thought you was being sarcastic lol.

Tbh man, If he gave you a real number I would just contact him. You will always hold the upper hand in yall relationship.

You don't have to be close, you can treat it as a business decision. Use him for resources and information.

 

[joeychizzle]

Be better than him. Be curt, be polite, but be cold.
Glad you made made it breh, your father missed out.
oh and @....... jump in a fukking river

 

[Worthless Loser]

Be better than him. Be curt, be polite, but be cold.
Glad you made made it breh, your father missed out.
oh and @....... jump in a fukking river

What I do?

 

[MikelArteta]

Reach out you never know why your pops left.

And it looks like you want some closure

Worse that happens is your dad doesn't mess with you and he's doing that already now

 

[Houston911]

@YoungJeanGerri get the back child support

Don't be foolish

 

[Killigraphy]

Nothing is that black and white, not even Jidenna. Your mom could've easily been a c*nt to him or they to each other. Don't assume that any parties are innocent. He can be blamed for not trying to communicate with you, that's for sure, but why he left is the very reason you both need closure.

 

[Karb]

I'd send the letter. If you're going to reach out I'd do it with how you honestly feel about him.
My dad reached out to me when I was 17 and asked me to come to his church and say a few words. His deadbeat ass had the nerve to introduce me as his "long lost daughter". It ended with a lot of people asking to pray for me and me fighting my 'niece' in the parking lot. I still have no regrets though.

OP, don't do this emotional ass shyt

You don't want to come off as needy. Trying to guilt him and make him feel bad might even backfire on you if the old guy is remorseless.

Move on with your life, forgive him (for your own sake) and succeed

If you ever do reach out, you should have no grudges and project mental and emotional strength. Show that your mother did a good job raising you without his assistance and that you've grown up to become a wholesome young man.

Reach out to your sister and younger siblings if you ever get the chance, breh. They are innocent and likely need an older brother. Especially your sister. She needs that strong male figure in her life

 

[Mirin4rmfar]

I understand your father.... it is what it is.

Real talk, blame ya mom and man up.

What's there to understand and blame his mom? His mom obviously took care of her responsibilities. His loser of a father had another child younger than him and also dipped on her. It's pathetic that these once they get old an age try to reconnect with their kids. It's pathetic.

 

[Cabbage Patch]

What's there to understand and blame his mom? His mom obviously took care of her responsibilities. His loser of a father had another child younger than him and also dipped on her. It's pathetic that these once they get old an age try to reconnect with their kids. It's pathetic.

Why can't they both be a$$holes?

Sounds like Mom was a one night stand but not wifey material. Sounds like Dad wanted ass but not to procreate with her.

 

[Voice of Reason]

He kept saying "Father " tho.

​

I could just picture him typing hella soft , letter by letter.

@YoungJeanGerri

Most if the time " less is more " . You should of just introduced yourself as her half brother and waited for the rest after.

It was overwhelming tbh, but if she anything like her daddy she gonna take advantage of your kindness and not reply

Nah he did it the correct way. If he just said,"Hi I'm your brother..." I think he would be more likely to overwhelm her and not get a response.


He already put himself in a vulnerable position by sending the message in the first place being blunt wasn't going to change that.

 

[Mirin4rmfar]

Why can't they both be a$$holes?

Sounds like Mom was a one night stand but not wifey material. Sounds like Dad wanted ass but not to procreate with her.

Clearly one person took responsibility for their actions and the other dipped out and dipped out again on another child. That's pretty pathetic of his dad.

 

[southern.girl]

" Hello, are you “Father’s” daughter? The reason I asked is because we may share the same father. I am 22 and my full name is “My name”. I think my mom accidentally misspelled my last name because he wasn’t around at the time that I was born.

Sorry OP, but your mom & bio dad we're not in a real relationship. It doesn't make his abandonment right, but it does make this occurrence more likely to happen.

The best thing you can do moving forward is be an active participant in planning the conception of your future child.

 

[Mordith]

You said siblings.....same father ?

Based on the way the story was told the answer appears to be no.

 

[Hiphoplives4eva]

The self hatred and inferiority complex that a black male has to abandon his own black kids to raise a white man's kid with a white woman is the ultimate insult.

This.

Just goes to show how poisoned the minds of many black folk in America are as a result of living in a system of white supremacy. Sad.

OP, i'm praying for you bro.