Giant Lizard pulls up to CVS & trashes the place

[Professor Emeritus]

Would you grab one?

Smaller than 4 feet or so there'd be no real problem so long as you had the angle on it.

If it's bigger than that (the one in the OP looks about 6') and it's facing you, there's nowhere to grab it. You're going have teeth or claws biting/scratching the shyt out of you. It's not worth it.

If it's facing away from you and is small enough to drag, you could grab it by the tail. The monitor will likely just try with all its might to keep running away, it'll be hard to maneuver but it's unlikely to turn and attack you so at least you'll be away from the teeth/claws. Then you could pull it out of the store or whatever that way - I think that would be pretty doable with the one in the OP in that store cause he couldn't get any traction on the floor and would just be skidding. "Unlikely" to turn on you doesn't mean impossible though, if it turned towards me I'd probably yank the tail hard to maintain control or just drop it knowing that it would dash away.

It's difficult to fully control with just your hands though. You could grab the back of the neck with one hand and the hips just above the legs with the other, and you'd pretty much have control of the claws/teeth, but then it would start whipping that tail around and give you welts from the lashes, probably fukk up your eyes if it connected. If for some reason you absolutely had to catch one then you'd probably have to drop a hand or both hands on the back of its head and then just put your full weight on its back and pin it to the ground until you had someone else's help to pick it up.

you know they ate that lizard right?

They eat a lot of weird stuff in Thailand but they don't eat those guys cause culturally they're considered bad karma since they eat dead shyt.

 

[Alvin]

Just either shoot it or stab it in the head

 

[Alvin]

Smaller than 4 feet or so there'd be no real problem so long as you had the angle on it.

If it's bigger than that (the one in the OP looks about 6') and it's facing you, there's nowhere to grab it. You're going have teeth or claws biting/scratching the shyt out of you. It's not worth it.

If it's facing away from you and is small enough to drag, you could grab it by the tail. The monitor will likely just try with all its might to keep running away, it'll be hard to maneuver but it's unlikely to turn and attack you so at least you'll be away from the teeth/claws. Then you could pull it out of the store or whatever that way - I think that would be pretty doable with the one in the OP in that store cause he couldn't get any traction on the floor and would just be skidding. "Unlikely" to turn on you doesn't mean impossible though, if it turned towards me I'd probably yank the tail hard to maintain control or just drop it knowing that it would dash away.

It's difficult to fully control with just your hands though. You could grab the back of the neck with one hand and the hips just above the legs with the other, and you'd pretty much have control of the claws/teeth, but then it would start whipping that tail around and give you welts from the lashes, probably fukk up your eyes if it connected. If for some reason you absolutely had to catch one then you'd probably have to drop a hand or both hands on the back of its head and then just put your full weight on its back and pin it to the ground until you had someone else's help to pick it up.





They eat a lot of weird stuff in Thailand but they don't eat those guys cause culturally they're considered bad karma since they eat dead shyt.

Would you recommend wearing gloves? Reptiles look very filthy to me, also I would you recommend stabbing it in the head or slitting the throat?

 

[3rdWorld]

Looks like a nile monitor..

 

[Rell84shots]

If I walk into a store and see that I'm turning into Homer Simpson.

 

[Professor Emeritus]

Would you recommend wearing gloves? Reptiles look very filthy to me, also I would you recommend stabbing it in the head or slitting the throat?

Reptiles are probably less filthy than mammals, but I would definitely wear gloves around one of those things to protect myself from teeth and claws.

I can't think of a reason where killing the thing would be less work than simply removing it, so I wouldn't recommend either. Throat-slitting is a little tough considering the scales, but most people trying to stab something in the head don't realize how well the skull deflects their blows. You're more likely to hurt yourself trying than you are to handle the situation.

Looks like a nile monitor..

Close, Nile Monitors and Water Monitors look very similar. You can tell it's not a nile monitor cause it's a bit too large, it doesn't have obvious lines across the top of the head, and its nostrils are too close to the end of the snout. Also, Nile Monitors aren't found in Thailand.

 

[Art Barr]

Sun a foul nikka for fukkin they store up like that

on-tha-real.

hey joe,...
sun mad foul for that.

art barr

 

[Art Barr]

you know they ate that lizard right?

I was eye'n that walking pair of boots frfr tho.

art barr

 

[old pig]

Florida type shyt

since I moved here, I seen a big iguana on my lawn and caught 2 small ass lizards in the house...if I ever see some shyt like this tho...I’m O-U-T!

 

[Art Barr]

Would you recommend wearing gloves? Reptiles look very filthy to me, also I would you recommend stabbing it in the head or slitting the throat?

after the battle with numerous poisoous snakes out in da south.
I feel a bit scary confident i could take his head.
how well do they hear?

if they have shyt hearing like snakes.
you could take its head.

When it was hanging its head over the top of the shelving in the clip.
I like to think to myself.
that is when you could give his ass tha hattori hanso right then.

run down on him with the dual mag backed samurai sword knives and behead him.
the way i learned to kill dese snakes out here with grassroots weapons.

shyt the hardest shyt to do in life is kill a snake.
fukk around and miss and they go supersonic up your blade and all in yo shyt in an instant.


fukk around trying to kill a baby snake and die,...
no bullshyt.

killed this diamond back baby not knowing on the porch.
sent the pix to them country Boys.
they like your ignorance to the element of danger level saved you. told me the snake I killed was baby poison ready. So if he bit me. snake has no mature physiological control in poison dispersal per bite. So if i got bit. He would have flooded my system.
including with no immediate help.
or response in the middle of the night. I could have died.

lucky this was snake poisonous snake number two at the time.

after that,....i will admit i am scary confident on killing snakes. if they show up and babies are around. They got to go and you can not bullshyt. About it at all.
god's wisest creature is no joke.

The devil is a thief and a liar.

art barr

 

[Art Barr]

since I moved here, I seen a big iguana on my lawn and caught 2 small ass lizards in the house...if I ever see some shyt like this tho...I’m O-U-T!

fukk that lizard in the house shyt.
those motherfukkers wait to try to get in a crib too.
When i first moved here.
everybody lol at me getting the canister vac to suck up this lizard. shyt i am from tha city. Ain't no wild life like that from tha chi.

he was blue green with a red tail. I said shyt.
red mean danger and stop

Yet i had to get his ass out of the house and i saw when he hit it to run in the crib.
everyone is like it ain't no lizard run in here.
I am like Yousa lie.
he ran through the little section at the bottom sweep.
on this old ass fifties screen door in this weak ass house we got.
I was like alright. I bet Chu William h holla for help.
when that lizard run down on you tho.

Sure enough lizard shows up in my ma's room at the back of the house. my country homie lol at me with the cannister vac. He just picked him up and tossed that boi from the front porch into tha forest. that image of a lizard flying.
like he yelling animal obscenities was hilarious. The lizard was like I'm monitoring this situation. Imma be tha fukk back.
while twirling through the air and landing in tha forest.
it was like cobra commander losing versus gi joe with empty threats. It was wild funny. plus i got to lol at myself too.
This anImal kingdom country shyt.

They can keep it.



Art Barr

 

[Alvin]

Reptiles are probably less filthy than mammals, but I would definitely wear gloves around one of those things to protect myself from teeth and claws.

I can't think of a reason where killing the thing would be less work than simply removing it, so I wouldn't recommend either. Throat-slitting is a little tough considering the scales, but most people trying to stab something in the head don't realize how well the skull deflects their blows. You're more likely to hurt yourself trying than you are to handle the situation.





Close, Nile Monitors and Water Monitors look very similar. You can tell it's not a nile monitor cause it's a bit too large, it doesn't have obvious lines across the top of the head, and its nostrils are too close to the end of the snout. Also, Nile Monitors aren't found in Thailand.

Reptiles carry salmonella in they mouth

 

[old pig]

fukk that lizard in the house shyt.
those motherfukkers wait to try to get in a crib too.
When i first moved here.
everybody lol at me getting the canister vac to suck up this lizard. shyt i am from tha city. Ain't no wild life like from tha chi.

he was blue green with a red tail. I said shyt.
red mean danger and stop

Yet i had to get his ass out of the house and i saw when he hit it to run in the crib.
everyone is like it ain't no lizard run in here.
I am like Yousa lie.
he ran through the little section at the bottom sweep.
on this old ass fifties screen door in this weak ass house we got.
I was like alright. I bet Chu William h holla for help.
when that lizard run down on you tho.

Sure enough lizard shows up in my ma's room at the back of the house. my country homie lol at me with the cannister vac. He just picked him up and tossed that boi from the front porch into tha forest. that image of a lizard flying.
like he yelling animal obscenities was hilarious. The lizard was like I'm monitoring this situation. Imma be tha fukk back.
while twirling through the air and landing in tha forest.
it was like cobra commander losing versus gi joe with empty threats. It was wild funny. plus i got to lol at myself too.
This anImal kingdom country shyt.

They can keep it.



Art Barr

lmaooo bruh the first time I seen one in the house, I woke up and went to crack the window...I’m used to seeing lizards on the OUTSIDE of the window at night catching bugs...so I’m groggy and thinking it’s on the outside of the window...then I thought then how come I’m seeing it eye to eye and not it’s underbelly...man it’s like me and the lizard came to the same realization at the same time cuz it scrambled to run just as I scrambled to get it...ended up smashing the hell out that shyt...and ya they hang out around the front door so if I open it and startle them then they sometimes run inside the house smh

 

[Brehcepticon]

A monitor lizard is my dream pet

 

[EffedUp]

Ain't no way in hell I'm sticking around to record.