Have you ever got caught lying on your resume?

[ByAnyMeans]

Nope, the repercussions are too dangerous. Word travels fast and circles are small.

 

[intruder]

IT is basically one of the worst field you can do this in The best you can do is exaggerate your years of experience.

Once they ask you those basic questions that have you goin it's a wrap

I would really hate to be in interviewer for an IT position. You could legit be a good employee with a bad memory. I know I rely on looking stuff up so my test scores are never that great. But I know what kind questions to ask..and people know that it's all about knowing how to answer your own questions. But it'd be silly to hire somebody over somebody who knows it off the dome

Here is the challenge for me

You may have YEARS of experience on something but since your role with it was limited how much weight can you really put on the TIME factor.

For example i worked on a few projects with NetApp NFS storage system. Within 6 months i knew the shyt in and out to the point if i chose to i could take the certification exam and pass it with ease.

HOWEVER

I have other things that i have been working with for 5+ years but since these are live production system and am limited with what i can do in the system I feel like i dont know it as much as say the NetApp. So how much weight does my 5 years of experience really hold here? See what im saying?

 

[patscorpio]

Nope because in my experience being in IT they will make you show and prove

 

[FSP]

Yep str8 caucastic

They love to let these white boys learn while on the job and getting paid

If you're black you better know every part of every system before they even let you step foot in the door

 

[H. Selassie]

Didn't lie but exaggerated. About 2 jobs ago, I put on my resume that I was procifient in Microsoft Access and Excel when I had only dabbled in them during this Computer Science 101 class I had taken in college.

My first two months on the job didn't require me to use Excel. I was more so using Access and doing some basic accounting on another program. One day the superintendent calls me into her office with this big ass spreadsheet with all these complicated formulas on the computer screen. Says "You did say on your resume that you were good with Access and Excel right? I'm having trouble wit this spreadsheet. Could you take a look at it?"


I'm standing there lookin like on some Southwest Airlines "Wanna get away?" shyt. I look at it and I don't understand shyt! I can't just come out and say that I so I click a couple of things and stare intently at the screen for about 30 seconds. Then I start finessing some BS answer about how the way I learned to use it vs. the company's particular format would only convolute the numbers on some Kevin Hart "checkings vs savings" shyt. Lookin like..

She told me not to worry about it. She'd have the secretary (who usually did it but was off work that day) look at it tomorrow. Went back to my office like . Never got asked to do that again but I did remove that shyt from my resume for every job since.

Brehs, don't put nothing on your resume that would lead you being exposed. You never know when you might get asked to do it, especially on these corporate jobs.

 

[Megadeus]

Y'all talking about stretching truths but I've forged a CV that's....more than just stretched. To keep it real, the only truthful things on that CV is my name and my address. I've got a decent job and a decent degree but I want to switch to finance. I've got no formal experience nor do I have academic credentials. I'm currently compiling a list of books and courses to go through for a few months and that should put me on par with your average grad in the field. I'm also gonna apply to grad positions at American and German companies and hope that if shyt goes wrong they won't bother putting the energy into pursuing a legal case against me across the pond.
Any success stories like this?

I literally just got a job in finance at a legit company about 2 months ago. I have a degree from a good school but its not in finance. I have ZERO academic finance background, and never worked in finance before. My degree has nothing to do with math either. I took one personal finance course in school so long ago that I didnt even remember to put that on my resume. I survived multiple interviews some of them being group interviews against other ppl who actually had finance degrees. Remember that interview scene in Men In Black 1? I was basically Will Smith. I didnt even apply for the job i have. I was interviewing for another position for the same company, but the Director of Finance was in the next room and overheard me flowing. Snatched me up on my way out of the boardroom and asked me to do a follow-up with him.

#1 - Excel. Get good at that shyt.. good enough to make up a past experience with it. Once you do, you could take a simple basic 30 minute excel test and score 95 or higher and stamp that on ur resume. Theyll look at you like youre a master swordsman. After I got hired my boss sat me down and told me straight up "of all the candidates I interviewed you were the only one who could accurately articluate exactly how you applied excel functions to your past experiences."
To that point all I ever used in a workplace setting was the AutoSum button my dude. Everything else I studied off of youtube for like a month. I told them I used vlookups, pivot tables and impromptu complex formulas every day to pull and organize massive amounts of precious severed $$ data from lost spreadsheets. But make sure you are damn good at excel so you could atleast back it up if they ask you to prove it. Im serious, be gawdd level with that shyt. Theyll expect u to keep up with everyone on your team. Dont get caught slipping.. Also check out any finance textbooks by Jeff Madura.

#2, Try to get a temp job in accounting or payroll or something even if its only data entry for a week. That's all you need to get some tall tales on deck. You cant make something out of absolutely nothing.
#3 I dont know anyting about forging though. You seem to be on some full fledged con artist type shyt. Do you, but just make sure you can flow for atleast 10-15 minutes for EVERY SINGLE THING on your resume that they ask you about if it comes down to it, wether it really happened or not.

 

[HoldThisL]

Ive extended "how long did you work there" by a few....

Months

If I didn't, they would notice my job hopping tendencies.

This new job is pretty damn good to me so i can stay for a year or two and erase those gaps

Is stretching the duration of how long you worked at a company actually a good and safe process? I'm assuming it would depend on how much months you add tho.

I'm thinking about doing this since I have been job hopping recently.

 

[FSP]

Didn't lie but exaggerated. About 2 jobs ago, I put on my resume that I was procifient in Microsoft Access and Excel when I had only dabbled in them during this Computer Science 101 class I had taken in college.

My first two months on the job didn't require me to use Excel. I was more so using Access and doing some basic accounting on another program. One day the superintendent calls me into her office with this big ass spreadsheet with all these complicated formulas on the computer screen. Says "You did say on your resume that you were good with Access and Excel right? I'm having trouble wit this spreadsheet. Could you take a look at it?"


I'm standing there lookin like on some Southwest Airlines "Wanna get away?" shyt. I look at it and I don't understand shyt! I can't just come out and say that I so I click a couple of things and stare intently at the screen for about 30 seconds. Then I start finessing some BS answer about how the way I learned to use it vs. the company's particular format would only convolute the numbers on some Kevin Hart "checkings vs savings" shyt. Lookin like..

She told me not to worry about it. She'd have the secretary (who usually did it but was off work that day) look at it tomorrow. Went back to my office like . Never got asked to do that again but I did remove that shyt from my resume for every job since.

Brehs, don't put nothing on your resume that would lead you being exposed. You never know when you might get asked to do it, especially on these corporate jobs.

 

[Jparker]

I was doing a phone interview and the guy sounded good so I told the hiring manager "let's bring him in for a face to face."



Manager was like "naw let's hire him."





I was like


Dude hired him.


A week on the job and the Guy barely knows how to enable services in Windows and create accounts in AD. And he's supposed to be a lvl 3 admin.



Come to find out his home boy did the phone interview and he just showed up.

Breh did everything we saying do in this thread.

to him

 

[Scholar]

Didn't lie but exaggerated. About 2 jobs ago, I put on my resume that I was procifient in Microsoft Access and Excel when I had only dabbled in them during this Computer Science 101 class I had taken in college.

My first two months on the job didn't require me to use Excel. I was more so using Access and doing some basic accounting on another program. One day the superintendent calls me into her office with this big ass spreadsheet with all these complicated formulas on the computer screen. Says "You did say on your resume that you were good with Access and Excel right? I'm having trouble wit this spreadsheet. Could you take a look at it?"


I'm standing there lookin like on some Southwest Airlines "Wanna get away?" shyt. I look at it and I don't understand shyt! I can't just come out and say that I so I click a couple of things and stare intently at the screen for about 30 seconds. Then I start finessing some BS answer about how the way I learned to use it vs. the company's particular format would only convolute the numbers on some Kevin Hart "checkings vs savings" shyt. Lookin like..

She told me not to worry about it. She'd have the secretary (who usually did it but was off work that day) look at it tomorrow. Went back to my office like . Never got asked to do that again but I did remove that shyt from my resume for every job since.

Brehs, don't put nothing on your resume that would lead you being exposed. You never know when you might get asked to do it, especially on these corporate jobs.

Nah she really remembered that on your resume after two months. If the secretary wasn't out I would say she was def tryna catch you with some . Still questionable though

 

[Scholar]

I literally just got a job in finance at a legit company about 2 months ago. I have a degree from a good school but its not in finance. I have ZERO academic finance background, and never worked in finance before. My degree has nothing to do with math either. I took one personal finance course in school so long ago that I didnt even remember to put that on my resume. I survived multiple interviews some of them being group interviews against other ppl who actually had finance degrees. Remember that interview scene in Men In Black 1? I was basically Will Smith. I didnt even apply for the job i have. I was interviewing for another position for the same company, but the Director of Finance was in the next room and overheard me flowing. Snatched me up on my way out of the boardroom and asked me to do a follow-up with him.

#1 - Excel. Get good at that shyt.. good enough to make up a past experience with it. Once you do, you could take a simple basic 30 minute excel test and score 95 or higher and stamp that on ur resume. Theyll look at you like youre a master swordsman. After I got hired my boss sat me down and told me straight up "of all the candidates I interviewed you were the only one who could accurately articluate exactly how you applied excel functions to your past experiences."
To that point all I ever used in a workplace setting was the AutoSum button my dude. Everything else I studied off of youtube for like a month. I told them I used vlookups, pivot tables and impromptu complex formulas every day to pull and organize massive amounts of precious severed $$ data from lost spreadsheets. But make sure you are damn good at excel so you could atleast back it up if they ask you to prove it. Im serious, be gawdd level with that shyt. Theyll expect u to keep up with everyone on your team. Dont get caught slipping.. Also check out any finance textbooks by Jeff Madura.

#2, Try to get a temp job in accounting or payroll or something even if its only data entry for a week. That's all you need to get some tall tales on deck. You cant make something out of absolutely nothing.
#3 I dont know anyting about forging though. You seem to be on some full fledged con artist type shyt. Do you, but just make sure you can flow for atleast 10-15 minutes for EVERY SINGLE THING on your resume that they ask you about if it comes down to it, wether it really happened or not.

You got them breh. Keep getting those checks

 

[Maude]

@cook this .might be this forums first classic

 

[Frieza]

I literally just got a job in finance at a legit company about 2 months ago. I have a degree from a good school but its not in finance. I have ZERO academic finance background, and never worked in finance before. My degree has nothing to do with math either. I took one personal finance course in school so long ago that I didnt even remember to put that on my resume. I survived multiple interviews some of them being group interviews against other ppl who actually had finance degrees. Remember that interview scene in Men In Black 1? I was basically Will Smith. I didnt even apply for the job i have. I was interviewing for another position for the same company, but the Director of Finance was in the next room and overheard me flowing. Snatched me up on my way out of the boardroom and asked me to do a follow-up with him.

#1 - Excel. Get good at that shyt.. good enough to make up a past experience with it. Once you do, you could take a simple basic 30 minute excel test and score 95 or higher and stamp that on ur resume. Theyll look at you like youre a master swordsman. After I got hired my boss sat me down and told me straight up "of all the candidates I interviewed you were the only one who could accurately articluate exactly how you applied excel functions to your past experiences."
To that point all I ever used in a workplace setting was the AutoSum button my dude. Everything else I studied off of youtube for like a month. I told them I used vlookups, pivot tables and impromptu complex formulas every day to pull and organize massive amounts of precious severed $$ data from lost spreadsheets. But make sure you are damn good at excel so you could atleast back it up if they ask you to prove it. Im serious, be gawdd level with that shyt. Theyll expect u to keep up with everyone on your team. Dont get caught slipping.. Also check out any finance textbooks by Jeff Madura.

#2, Try to get a temp job in accounting or payroll or something even if its only data entry for a week. That's all you need to get some tall tales on deck. You cant make something out of absolutely nothing.
#3 I dont know anyting about forging though. You seem to be on some full fledged con artist type shyt. Do you, but just make sure you can flow for atleast 10-15 minutes for EVERY SINGLE THING on your resume that they ask you about if it comes down to it, wether it really happened or not.

Nothing warms my heart more than hearing shyt like this. Also yeah, I'm looking to learn how to use excel properly. I've used it before in school and for several projects but I've never gone past the basics. I'll probably pick up a course on pluralsight or udemy and make sure I really know what I'm doing. The idea is to swindle the interview process and not bullshyt my way into a job I cannot do. As for the temp job, that's a good idea. I'm mainly gunning for starting positions at top companies so I can actually develop myself in the position and then move onto better pastures. As for prepping the interview I'll definitely simulate anything false and make sure I can sell everything I say. Also thanks for the heads up about Madura's books.

As for #3 forging, I'm already on that. I'm still scheming and changing stuff but for the most part it's set in stone. I've already got a plan in motion.

edit: Mind telling me what your background is in before you went into finance?

 

[Afro]

Is stretching the duration of how long you worked at a company actually a good and safe process? I'm assuming it would depend on how much months you add tho.

I'm thinking about doing this since I have been job hopping recently.

Alot of them were old, so I could chalk it up to bad memory and get away with it. If you have killer references they won't ask as many questions.

In my experience.

I would round up to the next month and then add one more depending on when I left the job. I also only used month/year.

 

[Passaro]

Can't lie, I've exaggerated a job or two and just used quick wits to learn the job when I got on. Never got called out, but it helped having a reference who can co-op the story.