How did you overcome your low self esteem ?

[Flywin Lannister]

Work out(body is a temple)
Work on yourself mentally
Whichever sex you attracted to well don’t sell yoself short . If you feel disrespected drop em asap.(like as in cutting them off)
Understand that others definitions of you might be coming from a place of hurt unless it’s constructive criticism(that you should consider working on it but has to be respectful)
You are that nikka(or that dude if you not black) THAT shyt don’t let nobody else tell you ya ain’t. Importantly learn to back up whatever ya saying dont try to cash checks you can’t afford know ya limits.
Be whoever you want to be.
Your comfort zone isn’t a place to stay in get out there
At least that’s how it worked for me

Read this and was like
“This some real shyt”


Checked who posted this and it’s @Black Mamba

 

[Coolin']

Never did, I just stopped caring. I don't have any close family or friends, so not caring worked out for me.

 

[King]

Tbh it takes facing your fears. I’m working on my self esteem right now.

The mind is a weird thing. It will compartmentalize everything.

Like for example approaching women, something I’m working on, I can approach a lot of women in a way that does not involve fear. Like for example: talking to female cashiers. You might think “nah that ain’t approaching a woman” - but technically it is. You see how that is?

But that won’t actually improve my confidence with approaching women, because there’s no fear behind it. I could approach 1000 cashiers and old ladies, but that won’t help me one bit when I see a 10 walk past me.

We all get those moments. You see a banging ass woman, find as hell, across the street, you have zero time to act. If you want to talk to her you gotta literally run across the road to go speak to her or you will lose that opportunity forever, to never see her again.

Most guys, including me, will second guess ourselves and miss our shot. And then psych ourselves out.

But if you really want to build self confidence you HAVE TO DO THAT SHYT!!!!

You have to be uncomfortable and you have to be vulnerable to allow your ego to take that hit.

That’s the only way you can build confidence, in unfamiliar and uncomfortable situations.

You have to fall in LOVE with that shyt!!!

 

[ThrobbingHood]

@ThrobbingHood long story short. I see people have close knit connections with friends or family.
My family is kinda estranged and my friends tend to be Fairweather
Even the most confident of men have a support system

Yeah, I feel you on that. I lost a lot of “friends” during my broke/grinding period. And those same friends suddenly came out of the woodwork when they saw I was making paper.

I’d be lying if it said it didn’t make me resentful and misanthropic. Those same nikkas saw me struggling and didn’t say or do shyt. Not that I would ask or accept help because I’m too prideful for that, but even just knowing they had my back would’ve meant something.

Im definitely lucky I’ve always had great parents. We’ve had our ups and downs because most of us are knuckle heads when we’re younger, thinking we know better. But now that I’m older, I can’t believe how much I took their support for granted.

That’s why I spoil them when I can because the way they sacrificed for me to do well in life is priceless.

So yes, you’re right, a support system is vital. You can’t do it all on your own. No one is superhuman. That being said, being envious will not help you. It’s too easy to look at other people and think “why do they have it easier than me?”

Trust me, I thought that alot going to college and seeing those trust fund kids who NEVER had to struggle one day in their lives. Having everything handed to them.

I feel shytty now that I even had these thoughts, but I resented my parents at one point for not being rich/well off when they had me. I used to selfishly think “why have me when you’re just about getting by? You brought me into a world of struggle when others don’t have to?”

I cringe now that I even think that because my parents gave me things that are invaluable: love, protection, principles, integrity and a hard work ethic. They did jobs they didn’t have to do to Keep a roof over my head and food on the table.

Most of those same rich kids I went to college with now have drug, alcohol problems because they’ve never had to struggle and have this self-loathing feeling of “I didn’t earn it.” Neglect from their rich parents who sent them to boarding school has term them into sociopaths.

Those struggles kept me grounded and built my character. If I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I wouldn’t be the person I am today who’s grateful for everything and appreciates the value of every dollar I make.

So don’t be envious of other people because your journey is unique to your own. Hopefully, you’ll build a strong support system in the future and maybe even reconcile with your parents. But you have to work on yourself first and the rest will come organically.

I know this is an unpopular thing to say on the coli, but most people don't have to work hard or do anything hard at life

Kinda goes back to my first post. You have to learn to view the world as “neutral” and understand that the concept of “fairness” is a fallacy. We are all on our own journey.

The person who seems to have it easy may be going through “imposter syndrome”. That person who has everything handed to them may not feel they earned it and drinks themselves to sleep every night. You don’t know, so being envious is pointless.

 

[The Fade]

Get good at something you can progress in.

Dont live life to be a worker bee or a drone. Be good at something or halfway decent at it

Mindful meditation as well.

 

[DrHackenbush]

Exercise and read. Also remember that all that stuff you're insecure about, no one else really gives a shyt about. Most people are wrapped up in their own heads and don't really care what you are doing. A lot of insecurity comes down to a kind of self importance

 

[acri1]

Still working on it to be honest.

Back when I was in elementary/middle school I was prone to get bullied a lot (mainly due to being shy/introverted, not to mention short and skinny) and looking back I think it made me avoidant/unconfident in social situations.

 

[Thatrogueassdiaz]

A good job does wonders. Working out, dating normal women and not always trying for the super hot, dressing better

None of the above get to the source of the issue, all any of that does is build a fortress around the pain. Eventually it gets out again.

 

[Thatrogueassdiaz]

OP it takes a lot of time to get over low self esteem. Most of it comes from child hood, which means you'll need to get to the situations and interactions that created those feelings, emotions and thoughts. You should get a good therapist who can guide you through that process.

 

[Roid Jones]

Work
Taking action
Consistency

Hoarding information and navel-gazing will not change anything

 

[Diondon]

Accomplishing goals
Achieving success
Pulling women
Aint had an issue since what late teens/early adulthood
Ever since I stopped being broke, it was a wrap

 

[semicko82]

Yeah, I feel you on that. I lost a lot of “friends” during my broke/grinding period. And those same friends suddenly came out of the woodwork when they saw I was making paper.

I’d be lying if it said it didn’t make me resentful and misanthropic. Those same nikkas saw me struggling and didn’t say or do shyt. Not that I would ask or accept help because I’m too prideful for that, but even just knowing they had my back would’ve meant something.

Im definitely lucky I’ve always had great parents. We’ve had our ups and downs because most of us are knuckle heads when we’re younger, thinking we know better. But now that I’m older, I can’t believe how much I took their support for granted.

That’s why I spoil them when I can because the way they sacrificed for me to do well in life is priceless.

So yes, you’re right, a support system is vital. You can’t do it all on your own. No one is superhuman. That being said, being envious will not help you. It’s too easy to look at other people and think “why do they have it easier than me?”

Trust me, I thought that alot going to college and seeing those trust fund kids who NEVER had to struggle one day in their lives. Having everything handed to them.

I feel shytty now that I even had these thoughts, but I resented my parents at one point for not being rich/well off when they had me. I used to selfishly think “why have me when you’re just about getting by? You brought me into a world of struggle when others don’t have to?”

I cringe now that I even think that because my parents gave me things that are invaluable: love, protection, principles, integrity and a hard work ethic. They did jobs they didn’t have to do to Keep a roof over my head and food on the table.

Most of those same rich kids I went to college with now have drug, alcohol problems because they’ve never had to struggle and have this self-loathing feeling of “I didn’t earn it.” Neglect from their rich parents who sent them to boarding school has term them into sociopaths.

Those struggles kept me grounded and built my character. If I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I wouldn’t be the person I am today who’s grateful for everything and appreciates the value of every dollar I make.

So don’t be envious of other people because your journey is unique to your own. Hopefully, you’ll build a strong support system in the future and maybe even reconcile with your parents. But you have to work on yourself first and the rest will come organically.

Kinda goes back to my first post. You have to learn to view the world as “neutral” and understand that the concept of “fairness” is a fallacy. We are all on our own journey.

The person who seems to have it easy may be going through “imposter syndrome”. That person who has everything handed to them may not feel they earned it and drinks themselves to sleep every night. You don’t know, so being envious is pointless.

Real shyt

 

[Xcenai]

I was seriously ill for a couple weeks and had to stop smoking weed. Then I realized my insecure thoughts and horrible mentally started to go away.

Weed is fueling my insecurities

I said 'is' cuz I still smoke that shyt

 

[Thatrogueassdiaz]

I was seriously ill for a couple weeks and had to stop smoking weed. Then I realized my insecure thoughts and horrible mentally started to go away.

Weed is fueling my insecurities

I said 'is' cuz I still smoke that shyt

I notice I feel my insecurities, doubts and pain far more on weed. I also think the weed lies to me as well (depending on the strain)

 

[the bossman]

Get good at something you can progress in.

Dont live life to be a worker bee or a drone. Be good at something or halfway decent at it

Mindful meditation as well.

This. You need to get good at something. Anything. Become a master at it. Music, film, fitness, tech, cooking, whatever. As you go through the journey of mastering your craft, your confidence grows as you become more competent in that area