How hard is a real relationship supposed to be?

[Music Fiend]

I see three issues that need fixing ASAP.

1) sober thoughts are filtered thoughts. When she's faded that's the real her. I'd be really concerned with the "your too good for me" ish. Usually indicates two things, low self worth and self esteem or she's cheating/wanting to be free.
2) id be concerned with the flip flop best bf ever. It can indicate emotional instability.

3) living together can be bad. It may be better to get your own spot. So she can tangibly see the things you do

 

[An ashy lil fap hand]

I see three issues that need fixing ASAP.

1) sober thoughts are filtered thoughts. When she's faded that's the real her. I'd be really concerned with the "your too good for me" ish. Usually indicates two things, low self worth and self esteem or she's cheating/wanting to be free.
2) id be concerned with the flip flop best bf ever. It can indicate emotional instability.

3) living together can be bad. It may be better to get your own spot. So she can tangibly see the things you do

I want my own spot but next year I have a fair amount of touring so that's what puts me off the idea. It might just be relationship growing pains. I talk to her friends about the flip, and they told me that she really just sees me as too good to be true.

 

[HE_Pennypacker]

There's no such a thing as a perfect relationship, but this sounds like a toxic relationship, breh. Negativity is THE biggest killer in a relationship. Killed off my 5.5 year one.

 

[Crayola Coyote]

Charge her to the game

 

[Ol’Otis]

anything short of making more money isn't going to solve anything.

my cousin just went thru this.. dated the same woman for years, but she always complained about the money he made.. it ended up being the end of the relationship. women always keep a mans income in the back of their mind. anyone thinking different is a damn fool

They crave financial security

 

[Crayola Coyote]

She's educated in psychology and medicine, beautiful, has a higher sex drive than me. She's also incredibly loyal. She's my best friend. She's white and enjoys watching hidden colors. On the surface, we are ideal. But like everyone elsen we have insecuritesn large and small.

Dude the chick is unstable! Charge her to the game. You can find another cac hoe that will not disrespect you. The simping is strong.

 

[Rawtid]

She is not comfortable paying most of the bills. Most women aren't down for that, it's not a good look. I can bet if you started paying bills instead of for fun, things would change. I know we are in a new day and age, but that whole "men should provide" thing lingers.

 

[BrehWyatt]

Love don't pay bills.

I think it's stress, too. That's why I'm focused on being level headed.

This is all well and good, but from what you said, she flat told you the issue (make more money), so I assume y'all live together. As @Rawtid alluded to, just because a woman CAN be the breadwinner doesn't mean that they WANT the responsibility/shyt that comes with that status. Just means they just want to have their own to support THEMSELVES if it comes to it.

I believe in equal partnership type shyt in relationships, but it sounds like this has become a competition (which never happens unless one side brings in much more cash) as to who does more in said relationship, and unless you guys have a SHYTTON of fun, you're losing this game.

Sounds like, as you said, the pressure/stress of being the breadwinner is getting to her. Like, if she pays the rent, you could pay the monthly bills or something.

 

[CrimsonTider]

This sounds like Drake & Rihanna -Too Good

 

[beenz]

why would you want to be living or in a relationship with someone who constantly talks down to you? have some pride.

 

[YaThreadFloppedB!]

Dammit @Yuff I ain't know you was bike on dem drugs mayne

 

[The Mad Titan]

It actually sounds like one of my more serious relationships I was in, in some area's

off the top I was gonna say I think she has an issue with being the bread winner, but it probably goes deeper. She sounds like the type of chick that doesn't know how to operate without a "man" barking down her ear, when she doesn't have that she anxiety hits and then all her internalized issues are projected on to you and yall's relationship.


She probably has mental issues (depression/bipolar)
She isn't happy with herself so she takes it out on you.


I made it about 5 years before it all blew up.


Advice; Get counselling, drop the drinking. If dropping the drinking is a problem for her then you know your going in the right direction.



I loved someone and I thought my love would carry us through anything.


nahhhh, attempt to get help and if nothing changes leave or end things before your married and it really a big issue.



She'll work on the issues if the relationship is important enough for her.....If you come at her wrong she just gonna be like "whatever" while thinking "I knew he was too good for me" and wallow in sex and drinking until you dont matter.

 

[PrnzHakeem]

Sounds like y'all deserve each other

No need to break up and spread both of y'all dysfunction to more people.

 

[An ashy lil fap hand]

Dammit @Yuff I ain't know you was bike on dem drugs mayne

i used to be. Y'all readin this wrong. Im down to 4 beers a day and medicinal herb. Personally, I'm aight.

why would you want to be living or in a relationship with someone who constantly talks down to you? have some pride.

it's not constant. If you read the op, I said she throws a fit every other week. I appreciate the feedback but at least keep my issue in perspective.