Figured out about 1 year ago I don't really crave sex, intimacy is what I want. Frankly there's no point in fukking women I don't care about as people unless they're a 7+, at this point. It'd just be wasted, time, and effort and more often than not I'd leave the 5/6 wanting more even though I never had intention on giving more. I hate getting my time wasted so I sincerely try not to waste the time others.Yeah but it ain't even about the sex for me. I want the companionship along with it.
I wanna be distracted by texts at work.
I want my sweaters stolen.
I want to be asked "did you eat?"
I want the whole thing![]()
I remember I had a fling who I told how I felt about (she of course ghosted after this), though while we were together had great sex, and she had that sweet/warm feminine energy that calmed me. I met here at one of the rougher times in the last 5 years (whole 5 years has been full of setbacks, self inflicted and external: faced a case, got robbed and left with permanent scar, car accident twice, etc.) Just her touch and gaze put me at ease.
To your bolded when once she texted me before I went to work "Hope you have a good day at work". A text that simple melted me in that moment, because as mentioned ITT, as a breh I walk around closed off by default for self preservation, because I KNOW no one but my blood truly gives a fukk, but in that moment a woman was invested in me and supportive of despite me being broke, with my parents, no car, etc.
I know now at 23, I will never have the bolded again. I might come across women interested but there'll be several other variables outside of me that draws them in.
Since I despise when people get over on me, I will never allow myself to feel as dumb/finessed/weak as I did when she boogied. Which in turns mean I'll never be that vulnerable again, which transitively means I'll never going to fully love someone because I won't allow myself to get got. And as we all know there
So it's a dub on all that. As long as I have means my own space, and the ability to leave this country, that'll do
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