How to get over crush on a friend brehs

[Saysumthinfunnymike]

what does that mean in on your end? What do you and your guy friends do? Do you hangout? Is your husband cool with the other guy going to dinner with you? Do y'all text? Do y'all text or chat and your husband is right there?

I really do think it's rare.

Notice she is sitting this one out...

 

[Saysumthinfunnymike]

He’s friends with my husband too and we have a group chat with some other friends, I don’t usually text him outside of the chat unless I need to ask him something specifically.

We send each other memes on IG throughout the day though, we’ve only gone out to eat together once but he said I eat too slow so we never did it again, we have the same taste in movies and shows (psychological thrillers/horror) so we talk a lot about shows and movies we like. You know, normal friend stuff.

Oh there you are. My apologies.

So he's friends with your husband, okay. Do you have any male friends who don't have a bond with your husband?

 

[Ashley Banks]

How many friends you got that you have feelings for?

I had feelings for my ex when we were friends.

Notice she is sitting this one out...

I answered

 

[Ashley Banks]

Oh there you are. My apologies.

So he's friends with your husband, okay. Do you have any male friends who don't have a bond with your husband?

No.

 

[The Mad Titan]

That makes sense, I guess I just don’t get why you can’t just get over it if you like that persons friendship enough to want more why isn’t worth still trying to be friends with them?

Just straight up trying to get over someone you like that is also friend is pretty hard for the average person to do.

Especially if yall spend quality time together.

It's super selfish to expect someone that has developed feelings for you to deal with those emotions and continue the friendship because the friendship is important. In fact I say it's impossible without removing yourself from the friendship in some manner.

You either fall back
Find someone else
attempt to date
or be miserable and then 9 times out of 10 hold a grudge when they find someone while you "hoping" your friendship turns into something more.

 

[Marc Spector]

That makes sense, I guess I just don’t get why you can’t just get over it if you like that persons friendship enough to want more why isn’t worth still trying to be friends with them?

Lol at just get over it and still being her friend.

Most hetero women and men don't have shyt in common like that to have solid friendships.

Its either a 'we are friends in A larger circle thing"

Or

That nikka is capping and would fukk you given the chance

And even those circles blend together .

 

[PHamm]

sad. Imagine your good friend just decides to just drop you because you won’t have sex with him. That has to suck. But I guess if that’s all that’s important to him you’re not really his friend.

Your words

 

[Saysumthinfunnymike]

No.

Alright so here's the issue. When you're dating or married to someone and their friends become your friends, that's not the same as you having friends that are separate from the relationship, obviously your husband trusts this man, they know each other. I shouldn't even have to be explaining how it's different.

The bottom line here is that most people aren't even going to be okay with their partner having friends of the opposite sex whom they don't really know like that, that's life.. it's not perfect but it's likely the best way to go about it.

True male and female friendships where y'all gonna be friends before, during, after y'all relationships/marriages, gonna be friends for 10 years or 20 years or forever.. that shyt don't really exist, only in rare cases.

 

[Black Steph Curry]

@Ashley Banks what would you do if you were attracted to a man and they just wanted a platonic friendship?

 

[Ashley Banks]

@Ashley Banks what would you do if you were attracted to a man and they just wanted a platonic friendship?

It’s already happened to me, I stayed friends with him. don’t get me wrong, i was sad at first. I ugly cried to my sister but then I realized it wasn’t that bad.


Funny thing is a few years later he ended up liking me and we dated and almost got married.

 

[CreepyMcCreeperson]

I really hope you’re not out here spending money on her, hoping she’ll develop feelings. Men be taking women out to dinner, buying gifts and shyt, and getting “quality time”.

 

[Action Mike]

It’s already happened to me, I stayed friends with him. don’t get me wrong, i was sad at first. I ugly cried to my sister but then I realized it wasn’t that bad.


Funny thing is a few years later he ended up liking me and we dated and almost got married.

almost married your "friend"


none of your responses have even considered op point of view, just why are you ruining a friendship she wants but he doesn't.

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

but you would really stop being friends with a girl just because she isn’t interested in you like that?

yes that's what men are supposed to do...

what you are talking about is called the friend zone and it breeds simps. once that threshold is crossed if it don't work out it's over. men that linger on are gluttons for punishment.

 

[Inspect Her Deck]

but you would really stop being friends with a girl just because she isn’t interested in you like that?

Yes because it changes the whole dynamic of the friendship. A true friendship only exists between a man and woman when they see each other in a purely platonic setting. They wouldn't sleep with each other if given the opportunity, they look out for each other like they would with friends of the same sex etc.

As soon as someone develops feelings, it is no longer a friendship. It either moves into a relationship/amorous type situation if the feeling is mutual or the friendship needs to end. How can I be friends with a girl if in the back of my mind, I know she looks at me differently? If she doesn't openly show it, it's only a masquerade to disguise her true feelings and that's not really fair or productive to anyone and the friendship no longer feels genuine. Therefore, it's either I'm attracted to her or I have to respectfully cut it off.

This is why 9 outta 10 times, I don't believe straight men and women are supposed to be friends. It doesn't work.

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

Maybe you shouldn’t let your feelings ruin a good friendship. Friends are important.

once feelings are declared or pronounced the friendship either has to evolve or end. were not shytting on friendship it's just naive to try n have a platonic friendship with a crush in the mix. these are things you supposed to figure out by the time you a grown man

I have some valued female platonic friendships that have lasted decades with women who are attractive. We never went there by choice and thus the regard we have for each other is not wavering or conflicted. I was just talking to one of my female friends. had not spoken to her since 2019, she since had a baby n got married. I'm really particular about giving women in relationships space even if we are close. I'll check in and catch up n keep it moving. But keeping around a person you had romantic interesting in that didn't pan out is stupid and ill advised.