I Had To Uninvite My Father to my Wedding

[hashmander]

Imagine if your dad slapped your fiance cuz he was mad at you. Slapped her in her face hard as shyt cuz he was mad at you. Not cuz he wa mad at her, but he was mad at you.

Im not saying thats what happened, but imagine....

well since he's my dad i can't kill him for that, so he would have to be removed from my life and luckily for him not this life.

They are terrified of him

Everyone is. No one stands up to him, ever

sounds like someone who doesn't need to be in your life. you'll probably end up in prison because he'll step out of line again. and if he's that toxic is he someone you want in your future kids life?

 

[phcitywarrior]

A lot of you African brehs let your parents run life. I could never understand.

It's a cultural thing. We have a belief that it takes a village to raise a child and that parenting never really ends to be honest.

Even my grandmother be getting on my Dad about things and my father is 50+ yrs with 3 kids. 2 of which have graduated college, are working and living on their own

 

[you're NOT "n!ggas"]

There's no way pops can come to the wedding after putting his hands on wifey to be. Anybody saying that after it finally was revealed is trippin. That's just not possible. That smack is gonna last forever.

Being me... if my brother had something similar happen to mess shyt up, I'd be applying pressure on some 'Pick A Side' type shyt. Cuz in that kinda rage, I'd have been fighting them for blocking me from fighting him-- That is NOT advice

 

[P90]

@Gold you doing the right thing, as a child you are at your parent’s mercy but as an adult you have the capacity to know right and wrong and to set boundaries that you stand up for. The whole “you only have one pops” argument doesn’t work for a toxic father that never believes he’s wrong.

As an adult I cut off my pops who was a pathologic individual that never brought happiness into anyone else’s life. I’ll never speak to him again, he won’t be at my wedding, but I’m good knowing I stood tall for myself.

 

[Jean toomer]

OP this situation transcends African customs, tradition, heritage etc...the sooner you come to terms with the fact that your father is uniquely a disrespectful bully the better your life will be as well as those around you. Life is too short for that kind of energy.
Good luck and Godspeed.

 

[4-Rin]

Has OP said what his dad did yet? I'm tempted to neg him.

Naija bros no sabi tell proper story? Since when

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

It's a cultural thing. We have a belief that it takes a village to raise a child and that parenting never really ends to be honest.

Even my grandmother be getting on my Dad about things and my father is 50+ yrs with 3 kids, 2 of which have graduated college, are working and living on their own

Fam I'm Kenyan I know this. I'm just not programmed like that. Even as a kid. I got beat for rebelling against all that structure. I told my folks straight up I don't care bout embarrassment and perception. I'm respectful but I won't be controlled.

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

Has OP said what his dad did yet? I'm tempted to neg him.

Naija bros no sabi tell proper story? Since when

Keep reading... He put hands on his wife to be

 

[Apollo Creed]

Fam I'm Kenyan I know this. I'm just not programmed like that. Even as a kid. I got beat for rebelling against all that structure. I told my folks straight up I don't care bout embarrassment and perception. I'm respectful but I won't be controlled.

lmfao how you talking cash money as a child?

 

[FLATOP]

Dont fall for any of the "Thats your father breh, be the bigger man, I wish I blahblah when I couldve " weak shyt in here

Stand up for yourself. Family really think they're owed something when truly they are not.

If he got the address of the wedding, he'll probably pull up tho

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

lmfao how you talking cash money as a child?

They tried to beat it out of me and pray for me and gave up

I see my cousin's now as grown men with no freedom I just laugh. One of my uncle's popped up talking bout I'm living in sin and need to marry my live in girlfriend. I told that dude it wasn't his place to discuss that.

That nikka dipped when I was 5 and gonna pop up with moral lessons but I know he a drunk womanizer in Texas who hasn't talked to me in 2 decades...

 

[The Odum of Ala Igbo]

It's a cultural thing. We have a belief that it takes a village to raise a child and that parenting never really ends to be honest.

Even my grandmother be getting on my Dad about things and my father is 50+ yrs with 3 kids, 2 of which have graduated college, are working and living on their own

That’s it

 

[Toe Jay Simpson]

As you get older you have to really learn to come into your self worth as a man. You not the only one who struggles with this concept OP, but usually it’s a father who is over domineering on his family and taking the head of household title too far. Sadly with us, even a lot of the men who do stay aren’t real fathers but more overseers.

I was about 20 when I finally got it and I promise you that nikka never tried me in no way shape of form ever again. I got a general love for my pops but he know I’ll bust his head to the white meat. Now don’t get me wrong, he ain’t no punk neither, but he knows with his personality and mine it’s not stopping until somebody goes to sleep so it’s not worth it to him.

 

[CrimsonTider]

Why I have see way worst between families?

You seen someone’s dad assault their future daughter in law?

 

[Peak]

Tbh with that slap the marriage has already been compromised. That information will get out and if your fiancees family get word...