Oh okay.
I have a good one. What's really going on?
- Thread starter Menna
- Start date
Thats why I circled back to the thread ive seen the kids and the wife once in the past 5 months and the husband 2-3 times... Alot of space and life is better...less drama...The kids were born to their parents if I never see them again it is what it is...My problem in posting is that they told me to be around named me God Father and all that and then there was a 180 so it was shocking and I wanted other opinions of what happened...
Correct. The switch up was toxic and I do need to move on which I have and you guys were right about space and not really being involed...
Nah, when I first moved setting up my house and shyt she said come over watch shows babysit the girls as you are meeting people and shyt...I dont do that Netflix shyt only have youtube, Amazon prime and watch sports...I did babysit twice and then the 180 freak out and the husband gaslighting so I have seen them like 2-3 times since January and now they want me around....The Coli was right about fuk em.
I will probably see the kids a few times a year and if not what can I do. I don't want to never see them but I dont want to be dragged into drama so like the new Cam and Ma$e..."It is what it is"
That is what I am doing. When I grew up I didnt live on an island and my parents had 3-4 friends with kids and we would all chill once a month even to this day I am close with two of those families. Being that I know the husabnd for 30 years and the wife for 15 and they chose me to be Godfather/take care of their kids if they pass thats what I thought could happen...WIth the turn of events in the winter life told me that can't happen or its too much shyt to make it happen.
Your advice along with the forum helped. Ive been doing my own thing and life is better and thats what has to be done...They are too skeptical and negative if I knew them a few years and they freaked out fine but 2-3 decades and a freak out means no matter what I do the result will be negative....thats their thinking...
For the first time he brought up the word divorce to me few weeks ago...
I don't trust him like I did in the past his gaslighting has been turned up to full volume over the past year...so if I engage I can see him saying "so and so said this that's why I" or I subject myself to being used or put in the middle...
Also, even though the wife is difficult I still care and I know the kids well I dont want to be in the middle
and I have no divorce experience, my parents still together my sister happily married, I lived with a women but we werent maried, my othe friends are married I have no experience advice to give him so I don't want to give wrong advice or be used plus I've given alot to them and their family over the years and it resulted in shyt so I am taking a step back and focusing on what I want to build...They were part of it but now they aint based on the turn of events...
harsh, but i'll let you think what you want to think...
I actually get annoyed when he reaches out now...tbh...they can all have eachother
wanted to circle back say the advice was right....
I was on some feeling guilty shyt like what did I do I have to try and fix it.... but whatever I did it shouldn't of caused the results so fukk it...and trying to fix or try to make better would of been the wrong play
levitate
I love you, you know.
Are you gay and she feels the husband is gay adjacent? Thus she’s jealous of the time y’all are spending together and thinking y’all are secretly fukking?
Saying "gay adjacent" I think would make you gay lol
Bigs (CO founder of the Roc) posted something yesterday "Your perception of me is a reflection of you" I'll let that sit...
But really I was gonna spend my time trying to fix and make things better...The advice here was to do my own thing it was the right advice so thanks to the forum...
If other people can just let a 30 year friendship where families are involve go easy and don't need advice or talk about it then good for them but I needed different perspectives...If that make me gay then whatever....
Good lesson learned. Most people come into your life for seasons. When the season has passed move on and don't look back.
nikka wtf? how old are you? how are you chilling at their house every week? and going over to watch tv with the family? 
imagine you with your wife and kids and you had a homie show up to your house every Saturday for 5-6 hours. shyt would get mad annoying after a while. Most people wouldn't want their friends or siblings over every weekend, it becomes too much. They are a family, you are not a part of that family. You guys aren't teenagers or in your 20s anymore where yall can hang out and chill every weekend. They got kids and shyt to do, not worry about you coming over every week. and those reasons you've listed in your OP are general formalities people always say "oh stay at my place when you come down", "it would be so great if you lived closer", "the kids miss you", etc. They may have considered you to be a close friend, but doesn't mean they want you over every week. when you used to fly down, they'd see you every few months, which is cool and fun having a guest over. Having someone over every weekend is too much. have some boundaries.
and you moved down to where they live to be closer? don't give me that bs about it was the 10th reason why you moved to City X. if they didn't live in City X, you wouldn't have moved there.
all this to say, have some boundaries and get your own family instead of jumping into someone else's family.
imagine you with your wife and kids and you had a homie show up to your house every Saturday for 5-6 hours. shyt would get mad annoying after a while. Most people wouldn't want their friends or siblings over every weekend, it becomes too much. They are a family, you are not a part of that family. You guys aren't teenagers or in your 20s anymore where yall can hang out and chill every weekend. They got kids and shyt to do, not worry about you coming over every week. and those reasons you've listed in your OP are general formalities people always say "oh stay at my place when you come down", "it would be so great if you lived closer", "the kids miss you", etc. They may have considered you to be a close friend, but doesn't mean they want you over every week. when you used to fly down, they'd see you every few months, which is cool and fun having a guest over. Having someone over every weekend is too much. have some boundaries.
and you moved down to where they live to be closer? don't give me that bs about it was the 10th reason why you moved to City X. if they didn't live in City X, you wouldn't have moved there.
all this to say, have some boundaries and get your own family instead of jumping into someone else's family.
I have a feeling wife was annoyed by the frequency of your visits, she told your homie hoping he would address it with you, your homie felt awkward having that conversation with you so he procrastinated on it, and one day she just blew up. Ultimately i blame your breh.
I kinda see both sides. On one hand breh should have talked to you, on the other hand, no disrespect to you but i would find it weird if a friend of mine came and hung out at my place every week even if i told him he's welcome anytime and all that. I don't know breh, i see both sides.
I kinda see both sides. On one hand breh should have talked to you, on the other hand, no disrespect to you but i would find it weird if a friend of mine came and hung out at my place every week even if i told him he's welcome anytime and all that. I don't know breh, i see both sides.
I live 30-40 min from them. and I was over there when I first moved down … again I’ve seen them 2x since Jan.nikka wtf? how old are you? how are you chilling at their house every week? and going over to watch tv with the family?
imagine you with your wife and kids and you had a homie show up to your house every Saturday for 5-6 hours. shyt would get mad annoying after a while. Most people wouldn't want their friends or siblings over every weekend, it becomes too much. They are a family, you are not a part of that family. You guys aren't teenagers or in your 20s anymore where yall can hang out and chill every weekend. They got kids and shyt to do, not worry about you coming over every week. and those reasons you've listed in your OP are general formalities people always say "oh stay at my place when you come down", "it would be so great if you lived closer", "the kids miss you", etc. They may have considered you to be a close friend, but doesn't mean they want you over every week. when you used to fly down, they'd see you every few months, which is cool and fun having a guest over. Having someone over every weekend is too much. have some boundaries.
and you moved down to where they live to be closer? don't give me that bs about it was the 10th reason why you moved to City X. if they didn't live in City X, you wouldn't have moved there.
all this to say, have some boundaries and get your own family instead of jumping into someone else's family.
It was between two areas one of the two still gets snow and temps dip into 30’s or lower and the other area homes slightly more so I chose area X so yes seeing them 3-4x a month factored in but again not main reason. 3-4 times a month for a handful of hours is less time with them than when I would vacation but yes I get your feedback that’s why I’ve seen them like twice since Jan and it will be a few times a year if that going forward.