Some of this shyt makes me not want to get married ever again
Should I call off my wedding? - Talk About Marriage
I'm in a terrible place and I need some advice. I live in Palo Alto but I'm originally from Virginia. I met a woman on a dating site almost 2 years ago. She is from my hometown back in VA. We talked for 6 months before meeting in person. I've met her back in Va numerous times and she has visited me here in quite a few times. I proposed back in November and she accepted. I was sure that she was the one and I loved her to the point where I know I wanted to spend my life with her. This past April, I finally decided to let her meet my family. I invited her to my home in VA and she met my parents, both my sisters, and my brother. Everything went well and everyone seemed to like her. Since November, we've been making wedding plans, making reservations, preparing invitations. Our big day is supposed to be next month in July. Last week, I was home visiting and my brother called and said he needed to talk to me about something. He told me that there is something burning inside him and that he needed to tell me something. I could not imagine what it was but the news was that he knew my fiancee back in college. He said that she was quite the party girl and made her way around. He didn't want me to hear it from anyone else but he said that he, along with numerous other men at their school, slept with her. He said that he participated in a 3 way with her and another man. I didn't think he was telling the truth but I was stupid enough to ask for details. He talked about how they would get crazy drunk and she would sleep with him along with other numerous men. He said she had no shame and would routinely let men finish in her mouth and on her body. All in all, she was a real *****.
Still, I couldn't believe this. I asked a couple friends around town and I found out it was the truth. Their stories weren't as graphic but I could tell by their expressions that something more went on. I then confronted her about it and she first denied it. I kept bringing up names and dates and she eventually broke down crying and told me it was the truth. She said that she is "reformed" and doesn't participate in that behavior before. What hurts the most is that we are celibate until marriage. She never said that she was a virgin but she said that she wanted to wait until marriage for sex.
I myself have never had sex before but I wanted our first time to be special on our wedding night. Although she hasn't cheated on me from what I know, I keep having these images of her in my head with my brother and other men. Also, she specifically told me that she isn't into oral and anal and I was fine with that. I love a woman that respects her body. However, I found that she has done both of these things with other men. I just feel like I'm the laughing stock of everybody at home. I feel like I'm getting the leftovers.
I'm pretty successful in my career and I'm pulling 90k right now. My brother and the rest of his friends are barely pulling half that. Most of those guys are mostly jocks and knuckleheads while I've always been the one to bust my ass in school and in life. I feel like she had her fun and is settling with my because of my future. Maybe I'm wrong but that's how I feel. My mother says I should give her a chance but I'm not feeling good about this. However, I also feel bad about calling off the wedding since I've made a lot of promises to her.
As stupid as it sounds, I still love her. I don't know what I'm thinking and maybe I'm rambling but any advice would be helpful.