If she's not submissive, don't date her. Simple

[Yup]

Submission as the OP referenced is a temperament; submission in marriage as you described is a choice.


However most of these posters aren't married and are talking about a temperament in women they are dating or hooking up with and have no intentions of doing anything else

On point. People are asking for qualities attributed to committed relationships not flighty ones.

 

[Maxine Shaw]

I look at as he's 100 and I am 99.

That makes you inferior.

In my household and family my husband is the final or biggest authority [cut]
I have an equal amount of authority as he does.

O...kay.

I personally have no interest I n having an inferior man by my side.

So not only are you okay with being inferior, you had to find a man who specifically wanted an inferior woman who would yield to him. How frightening.

How the hell have these two strong-willed individuals stayed married for 42+ years?

They submit to each other and they are honest about who is better at what.

Compromise != submission.

See fellas this is why she is married in the first place

She is an inferior person who accepts being inferior, and her description of life in her house makes marriage sound horrifying, and I mean that literally. I actually and genuinely became afraid while reading her post - and not because it is contradictory as all fukk. "We are so totes equal - except the part where I'm lesser than he is and he has the final say!" Jesus be a dictionary with definitions, Batman, because words.mean.shyt.

But I do appreciate the honest answer:

Me: How do you handle being second best in a race of two?
wickedsm: Well, I *am* second best, so it's awesome.
Me: ...oh.

There are women on this earth who aren't good enough to be top drawer, and maybe they SHOULD submit to the men in their lives (who I promise you are also not top shelf). But I wish someone would tell my mom that she's 99 and my dad is 100. They'd *both* fall over laughing. Like booksnrain said, if there's a weakness in your mate, you need to be encouraging him/her to get up to your level. If I'm a 99 and you're a 100, guess what? There's a flaw somewhere! Do you want the brakes on your car to be 99% in order? Of course not! For all this wanking about the Bible, it also says some shyt about being EQUALLY yoked, and 99 and 100 are NOT equal.

 

[wickedsm]

That makes you inferior.



O...kay.



So not only are you okay with being inferior, you had to find a man who specifically wanted an inferior woman who would yield to him. How frightening.



Compromise != submission.



She is an inferior person who accepts being inferior, and her description of life in her house makes marriage sound horrifying, and I mean that literally. I actually and genuinely became afraid while reading her post - and not because it is contradictory as all fukk. "We are so totes equal - except the part where I'm lesser than he is and he has the final say!" Jesus be a dictionary with definitions, Batman, because words.mean.shyt.

But I do appreciate the honest answer:

Me: How do you handle being second best in a race of two?
wickedsm: Well, I *am* second best, so it's awesome.
Me: ...oh.

There are women on this earth who aren't good enough to be top drawer, and maybe they SHOULD submit to the men in their lives (who I promise you are also not top shelf). But I wish someone would tell my mom that she's 99 and my dad is 100. They'd *both* fall over laughing. Like booksnrain said, if there's a weakness in your mate, you need to be encouraging him/her to get up to your level. If I'm a 99 and you're a 100, guess what? There's a flaw somewhere! Do you want the brakes on your car to be 99% in order? Of course not! For all this wanking about the Bible, it also says some shyt about being EQUALLY yoked, and 99 and 100 are NOT equal.

I can see this topic and my responses in particular really make you feel some type of way. For that I suppose I am sorry.
Nothing I have said should lead you to believe my marriage is horrible. You want it to be horrible because I dared to say that I "submit" to my husband.
I don't know you and you don't know me so it's all good.

I will say it again for those in the cheap seats.
There is no such thing as absolutely equal.
Not in a marriage not at work not in sports and not at school.
It doesn't exsist.

There are times when he makes the decision there's times when I make the decision. If we ever get to an impasse and it's a decision affecting our whole household and family we decided he would make the final decision. Do you know when this actually comes into play? Most often when we've narrowed it down to 2 choices for something like vacation or new hardwood flooring for our living room and dining room.
that's because we communicate and love and trust one another. We are on the same page so no we do not disagree about important matters.

My parents were married from 18 to when my dad passed. My husband and I have been married 15 years.
I am in a very traditional marriage. I always state that it works for me and us.
Never do I insist that this would work for all couples and families. I am a stay at home spouse, I cook clean
Keep the house running. My husband works takes care of the cars does the yard work and fixes things.
This is what works for us.
I advise young and unmarried people to find what works for them.

Any way ma'am you have an especially blessed day.

 

[wickedsm]

There are women on this earth who aren't good enough to be top drawer, and maybe they SHOULD submit to the men in their lives (who I promise you are also not top shelf). .

Ftr I really don't care if you think I am "not good enough to be top drawer" (whatever that means)
Or that you keep screaming inferior! Inferior! She's an inferior person!
But since my husband isn't in this thread and you feel it necessary to imply some knowledge of him and his motivations that you couldn't possibly have
Let me state

My husband isn't any body's baby daddy
My husband served 20 plus years honorable in the military
My husband has never been arrested
My husband is college educated.
my husband is busy with his 2nd career at a large multinational corporation
(Obviously he earns enough that my staying home is financially feasible for our family)
he is an excellent father, papa and father in law
My husband doesn't beat me or abuse me in any way
He kisses me goodbye and tells me he loves me every morning

if that's bottom shelf then so be it.
Good luck to you in finding your top shelf guy.

 

[no.]

Tbh as a non-submissive woman this thread makes me happy because it means I might be able to avoid dating men who want to be in charge of the relationship just by saying I'm not submissive. Saves me a lot of time and headache.

I don't mind if men want submissive women. What annoys me is when they try to push it like all women should be submissive because of their gender, and not out of a personal choice. No, thanks, I have free will as a human being.

 

[wickedsm]

Tbh as a non-submissive woman this thread makes me happy because it means I might be able to avoid dating men who want to be in charge of the relationship just by saying I'm not submissive. Saves me a lot of time and headache.

I don't mind if men want submissive women. What annoys me is when they try to push it like all women should be submissive because of their gender, and not out of a personal choice. No, thanks, I have free will as a human being.

You should be in whatever relationship style makes you both happiest.
Both members of the marriage being on the same page is the key.

 

[Hijo de luna]

All these females dapping these dudes that claim they want an equal but don't realize that most of these dudes are the same ones who stand on the sideline while their girl changes the tire. The same dudes that expects their girls to pay for the dates.
Ol slide me your debit card so it looks like Im paying ass nikkas

I'm old school, But do yall

 

[wickedsm]

All these females dapping these dudes that claim they want an equal but don't realize that most of these dudes are the same ones who stand on the sideline while their girl changes the tire. The same dudes that expects their girls to pay for the dates.
Ol slide me your debit card so it looks like Im paying ass nikkas

I'm old school, But do yall

yup.
I dont want a man who wont hold doors open for me under the guise of "well yall broads wanted your equality"
I dont want a man who wont step out in front to confront physical danger cause " well we are equal you know"
nor am I changing tires even though i know how when i have a husband
or turning down his help doing heavy lifting.or carrying babies or groceries in the house.

Im not in a competition with my husband to show which one of us is the better man in my household.

Old school for sure.

 

[Maxine Shaw]

Nothing I have said should lead you to believe my marriage is horrible.

Where the hell did I say that?

I will say it again for those in the cheap seats.
There is no such thing as absolutely equal.
Not in a marriage not at work not in sports and not at school.
It doesn't exsist.

Ohhhhh, now I get it. I'm not married, but apparently you never worked, played a sport OR went to school. No wonder you need to submit so badly - with such little life experience (as evidenced by the fact that you've said absolutely nothing about yourself but have droned on and on about your man), I have to recommend it *for* you.

Ftr I really don't care if you think I am "not good enough to be top drawer" (whatever that means)
Or that you keep screaming inferior! Inferior! She's an inferior person!

Again what the hell are you talking about? You said yourself that you are inferior to your husband! What part of WORDS MEAN shyt do you keep missing?

My husband slurp slurp slurp GULP.

Riveting tale, lass. #andonthatdaynotonefukkwasgiven

Tbh as a non-submissive woman this thread makes me happy because it means I might be able to avoid dating men who want to be in charge of the relationship just by saying I'm not submissive. Saves me a lot of time and headache.

Oh, the best thing you can ever tell a man is "I'm a feminist," whether you are one or not. If he gets scared and runs, you don't even have to waste time with email tag.

 

[wickedsm]

The hell are you talking about? You said yourself that you are inferior to your husband! What part of WORDS MEAN shyt do you keep missing?
.

Lmfao. You got it chick. I'm agreeing with you. I'm inferior and not good enough to be top drawer and I'm gonna continue to sit here in my big ass beautiful house with my loving husband and children enjoying my life. It's beautiful here in Houston today not super hot or humid.
I hope that your day is going swimmingly as well.

 

[Ronnie Lott]

When you have somebody next to you who is well adjusted and doesn't need you to be less than to feel worthy, it's amazing.

And b/c that's what I've had as a model in a man, that's the only type of men I've ever dated. Ones who are strong enough to want me to get to my full potential because no matter how far I climb they know it is no threat to their own greatness.

And these men have helped me be a better woman and I've helped them be better men.
In the OP's entire fukking post, I didn't see anything about pushing her past her limits or helping each other grow.

Where the fuk do these dudes come from?
What type of toxic wasteland are we growing these fukk bois in? For you to feel so impotent in your own life that the first thing out ur mouth is submission when it comes to a relationship. Shyt is embarrassing and unhealthy but that's life.

 

[Ronnie Lott]

It's all good for them to be submissive, until they turn on you lmao. If they're submissive to you, then they can be for their bosses, friends, families, etc..etc. Say you were having a secret relationship with a woman that really love you, but being submissive, she had to weigh everyone else's opinions about you when you two are found out (nothing nefarious, just an international LTR).

She was a sub when we started talking because she didn't have a strong father (he was always drunk or awkward). I feel in love, deeply, with this woman and her bosses introduced her to their nephew lmao. A strong woman would've been able to work in the Mid. East, while I was grinding in college and knew our future was how we'd planned it.

I made her into an equal, but the sub failed me and us and nearly drove me to insanity with all the time she took up (beautiful but clingy as hell) after she burn noticed me. Nah, no more weak women for me. Too much fixer upper and empathy with little cache gained from it.

Give me a strong woman with her shut together that demands I catch up and keep up with her without being a cut about it. Especially in front of the children. We'd all be stronger and that temptation from insecurity shyt is a none issue.

 

[Maxine Shaw]

Lmfao. You got it chick. I'm agreeing with you. I'm inferior and not good enough to be top drawer and I'm gonna continue to sit here in my big ass beautiful house with my loving husband and children enjoying my life.

At least your expectations are as low as your place in your household. Be well. Some of us have jobs to work, knowledge to learn and skills to hone - and I have 20 minutes to get out of here.

 

[wickedsm]

At least your expectations are as low as your place in your household. Be well. Some of us have jobs to work, knowledge to learn and skills to hone - and I have 20 minutes to get out of here.

I've had a career already and never ending work to go to or tend to. I don't now and I am much happier.
I support women pursuing whatever relationship agreement and home work lifestyle balance that they choose
That works for them and their families if they have them. I've never said that my way was better than or worse than.
I've only ever said that this works for me.

I don't know anything about you outside of these last couple of posts other than that you're not married and that you have a job.
If you're happy doing what you're doing I am happy for you. I'm happy doing what I am doing so someone else having a different choice or
Opinion doesn't bother me because it can't affect me.

Being able to do the things for my family that I have time to do now without work make me happier than any work achievement ever could.

 

[Queen]

At least your expectations are as low as your place in your household. Be well. Some of us have jobs to work, knowledge to learn and skills to hone - and I have 20 minutes to get out of here.