If you're a parent and can offer nothing to your child in their adult life, you've ultimately failed

[Originalman]

@Get These Nets one more thing. A homie of mine that I have known since I been in dallas mom died a couple years ago.

His mom had remarried some 16 years ago and had another child via IVF. Anyway her husband died maybe 6 years ago and she was left raising the child alone. Well when she died my homie had to raise his sister who was a teenager.

The brotha said during this time it was the worst time of his entire life even though his mom insurance left him 600k. Dude said his sister was dealing with depression due to her parents dying. He was taking her back and forth to counseling. His mom was dead which no amount of money can bring her back. His marriage to his wife ended because the situation with him taking in his sister and her depression caused a strain on his marriage.

Him and I were at a bar talking about the situation and he was like "man they say money can't buy you happiness and replace folks is so true". Dude was like man I wish they could take this 600k and go back in time and fix everything how it was.

 

[Detroit Wave]

You right OP

 

[Originalman]

Passing things onto your children is admirable, but as a parent I realize how difficult that is along with trying to provide basic needs. Also leaving children with money doesn't mean they will keep it.

Its true sister. I have seen some kids repect what is left behind like money and not blow it. I have seen folks literally blow all the money on material shyt, drugs and other destructive stuff.

Plus things happen. An illness or death or serious financial issue (like layoffs) could happen. What is a parent suppose to do. Try to put something aside for 15, 20, 30 years for the future? Or try to take care of their underage kids and survive now.

 

[Dzali OG]

What I see in this thread is a plague to black Americans. We can't call a spade a spade. We refuse to give accurate analysis. Especially when it comes to family members and community.

If a zombie apocalypse were real, we would be doomed. There would be infected parents, siblings and cousins locked up in every household, putting the rest of the family at risk. Simply because " maaan that's my momma...she fed and clothed me. I can't do what needs to be done".

In that scenario we can't DO what needs to be done. In this thread...we can't even SAY what needs saying. We would be doomed.

There is a tactful way of saying it. Yes. Watch this: At one time I did illegal things for a living. I've hurt people. What I did allowed me to live and provide damn well. But guess what...what I did was wrong and I was a POS for doing it.

Some of the responses are why our communities have pedo uncles still walking around. Spreading their sickness to later generations. Big momma just couldn't turn her son in.

This is why we have murderers/steppas walking our communities. That brother, cousin, friend, parent, just can't call a spade and turn them in.

This is why we have drill/murder rap arguments. " maaaan that's my friend, brother, cousin, idol making that music. I can't call them a spade".

Accurate, unbiased, analysis is necessary for progress. No excuses, no explaining (you can explain after the assessment).

Example: Our prior generations failed to provide us with the resources needed to compete.

That is the accurate, objective, assessment. No feelings, no , no splaining.

After that assessment THEN you can go into the why's. But keeping in mind what the bottom line is.

 

[TELL ME YA CHEESIN FAM?]

My parents don’t owe me anything. They fed me, raised me, paid for my education, put a roof over over my head etc. That’s more than enough.

That's part of what he's talking about dumbass

 

[Dzali OG]

We no longer live in villages of 80 people using a barter system. A parents job IS NOT simply feeding, clothing, and providing shelter!!

We live in a complex society where you must prepare your child to compete with millions of peers. At any cost or indeed you fail.

Most of our parents failed. That's the objective assessment. The bottom line. There's a tactful way of saying it, but the point stands.

Now we can get into the oppression, racism, ignorance, etc. But those do not remove the bottom line.

Say it...

 

[Rawtid]

What I see in this thread is a plague to black Americans. We can't call a spade a spade. We refuse to give accurate analysis. Especially when it comes to family members and community.

If a zombie apocalypse were real, we would be doomed. There would be infected parents, siblings and cousins locked up in every household, putting the rest of the family at risk. Simply because " maaan that's my momma...she fed and clothed me. I can't do what needs to be done".

In that scenario we can't DO what needs to be done. In this thread...we can't even SAY what needs saying. We would be doomed.

There is a tactful way of saying it. Yes. Watch this: At one time I did illegal things for a living. I've hurt people. What I did allowed me to live and provide damn well. But guess what...what I did was wrong and I was a POS for doing it.

Some of the responses are why our communities have pedo uncles still walking around. Spreading their sickness to later generations. Big momma just couldn't turn her son in.

This is why we have murderers/steppas walking our communities. That brother, cousin, friend, parent, just can't call a spade and turn them in.

This is why we have drill/murder rap arguments. " maaaan that's my friend, brother, cousin, idol making that music. I can't call them a spade".

Accurate, unbiased, analysis is necessary for progress. No excuses, no explaining (you can explain after the assessment).

Example: Our prior generations failed to provide us with the resources needed to compete.

That is the accurate, objective, assessment. No feelings, no , no splaining.

After that assessment THEN you can go into the why's. But keeping in mind what the bottom line is.

Our prior generations didn't have the resources to compete. If you have a lineage of slavery, you shouldn't be comparing yourself to any group that chose to be here in the first place.

 

[Koba St]

That's part of what he's talking about dumbass

I know you’re a virgin fakkit hence the anger on here 24/7 but stop quoting me please.

 

[Rawtid]

Its true sister. I have seen some kids repect what is left behind like money and not blow it. I have seen folks literally blow all the money on material shyt, drugs and other destructive stuff.

Plus things happen. An illness or death or serious financial issue (like layoffs) could happen. What is a parent suppose to do. Try to put something aside for 15, 20, 30 years for the future? Or try to take care of their underage kids and survive now.

Ideally parenting and actually doing it are two different things. I know a couple that did it "the right way"; married, savings, planned children, etc only for the baby to be born prematurely, which drove up medical costs. The mother also had some complications with her pregnancy and cost additional as well. Both mother and baby are fine now, but they had to rebuild savings and readjust finances period.

I think it's great if parents can leave their children something, but also hope they teach how to be good stewards of the money or money in general. I want my daughter to save and invest early so she can have her fall back as she makes mistakes on her own and by the time I leave earth she should have ironed out the kinks.

 

[Dzali OG]

Our prior generations didn't have the resources to compete. If you have a lineage of slavery, you shouldn't be comparing yourself to any group that chose to be here in the first place.

That's the "but and cause" but the actual objective assessment is ________?

 

[Originalman]

Ideally parenting and actually doing it are two different things. I know a couple that did it "the right way"; married, savings, planned children, etc only for the baby to be born prematurely, which drove up medical costs. The mother also had some complications with her pregnancy and cost additional as well. Both mother and baby are fine now, but they had to rebuild savings and readjust finances period.

I think it's great if parents can leave their children something, but also hope they teach how to be good stewards of the money or money in general. I want my daughter to save and invest early so she can have her fall back as she makes mistakes on her own and by the time I leave earth she should have ironed out the kinks.

Thats the thing you can do everything right and still fall victim of the ups and downs of life.

shyt I know a dude right now who is in his 30s married with two kids. He just found out he has stage 3 bone cancer. Had to take family leave from his job and most likely be out of work for a year battling cancer.

His wife and him are already planning to sell their car and house to move in an apartment or into his parents house. Cause he knows the medical costs and him not being able to work will financially ruin them. All his hope is to beat the cancer and live so his wife and kids will have him in their life for a long time.

Folks on here just ain't being realistic about life. But thats the common theme on the internet.

 

[Michael's Black Son]

Yes you did fail in a way because generational wealth is important and necessary to give us financial freedom. But honestly support and a shoulder to lean on is the most important thing I feel a parent can give to an adult child.

exactly.

We already know most of us aren’t inheriting shyt, so in adulthood while you’re finding your way it would be great just to have your parents in your life. Sometimes you just need them to talk to because deep down you know they can’t do much for you in this version of the world that they would struggle to understand.

 

[Originalman]

It's an ongoing cycle breh, especially in places like this that actually had large communities of well to do black people, but they worked so hard that they neglected to pass on the tangible qualities they had that enabled them to get the businesses and properties in the first place, to their children and grandbabies.

The children had a little money coming up, was more interested in partying and bullshyt, or they thought once they got their little college degrees it was time to abandon the neighborhood and live amongst white folks, and everything Granny and Grandpa worked for was left for dead.

Now all these white folks is swooping in and making a killing off all that work that our folks put in.

It makes me physically sick just thinking and talking about it.

Yep seen this as well. Thats the gen x, z and millennials. Many didn't want to get their hands dirty or didn't see having those type of businesses as cool. You know the cleaners, liquor store, rib shack, mechanic business, labor intense skill busineses.

So some of these black families end up leaving these businesses to the kids. For the kids to neglect them and they go out of business or the kids sell it or the kids get educated move away and don't want anything to do with the business.

Seen this a few times as well. Thats one of the problems of well to do and upper middle class kids growing up having everything they want and not having work ethic or thinking they need to re-invent the wheel to make money (this is with all races of kids).

 

[Paper Boi]

given what we know about the majority of americans finances, by this thought process like 90% of parents are failures then.

 

[Field Marshall Bradley]

What I see in this thread is a plague to black Americans. We can't call a spade a spade. We refuse to give accurate analysis. Especially when it comes to family members and community.

If a zombie apocalypse were real, we would be doomed. There would be infected parents, siblings and cousins locked up in every household, putting the rest of the family at risk. Simply because " maaan that's my momma...she fed and clothed me. I can't do what needs to be done".

In that scenario we can't DO what needs to be done. In this thread...we can't even SAY what needs saying. We would be doomed.

There is a tactful way of saying it. Yes. Watch this: At one time I did illegal things for a living. I've hurt people. What I did allowed me to live and provide damn well. But guess what...what I did was wrong and I was a POS for doing it.

Some of the responses are why our communities have pedo uncles still walking around. Spreading their sickness to later generations. Big momma just couldn't turn her son in.

This is why we have murderers/steppas walking our communities. That brother, cousin, friend, parent, just can't call a spade and turn them in.

This is why we have drill/murder rap arguments. " maaaan that's my friend, brother, cousin, idol making that music. I can't call them a spade".

Accurate, unbiased, analysis is necessary for progress. No excuses, no explaining (you can explain after the assessment).

Example: Our prior generations failed to provide us with the resources needed to compete.

That is the accurate, objective, assessment. No feelings, no , no splaining.

After that assessment THEN you can go into the why's. But keeping in mind what the bottom line is.

The generation before you not having access to resources to leave their offspring a financial head start so to speak is comparable to a zombie apocalypse?