If you're a parent and can offer nothing to your child in their adult life, you've ultimately failed

[invalid]

I kinda agree.

A parents responsibility is the survival of their offspring.

In a world where parents leave their children economic safety nets to ensure that they thrive in adulthood, if you leave your child with nothing, how can they compete with those that have?

Leaving your children at the bottom of the totem pole increases the chance of annihilation.

 

[btd623]

negged

 

[Guile]

Moms at least gonna leave the family house for us.

 

[Family Man]

Now I grew up with both a mother and father in a relatively middle class stable lifestyle but it's just still not enough. I'm competing against people that have old / long money fueling their ambitions or basic life.

That's your "handout" right there from your parents. There are people that didn't even have what you have and were fukked from birth. Stop watching other people's shyt and be greatful for being a middle class kid from a two parent household. Comparison is the theif of joy.
No matter how shytty you think your life is and how much of a failure you think your parents are for not gifting you cash, property, investments etc - your life could have been a hell of a lot worse.
You didn't get to where you are all by yourself. You did so off the back of your parents.

 

[wastedmermaid]

I 100% agree. I’ve been trying to get in with big and elite tech companies. Almost everybody there has degrees from the top Ivy League schools (Yale, Harvard, Stanford, etc). I have degrees from state schools. I feel if I had a degree from Harvard or Yale, it would be easier for me to get some top-level jobs. I say all this because Yale and Harvard are basically schools for the elite and wealthy. I didn’t come from a lot of money in my family and realistically couldn’t afford to go to an Ivy League school. I couldn’t “join the club” and get all of those connections. If my family had a lot of money, Harvard, Yale, etc could have been a possibility. So, if I ever have kids I want to be able to afford an Ivy League school for them, should they want it.

What position are you trying to get into at these companies? I’m graduating this year and plan on preparing to apply and see if I can get into one of these companies.

 

[null]

I had to work for everything I have now and received zero handouts from my parents. I do OK. But, I just think, what if I had some sort of nest egg or inheritance that could catapult me to the next tax brackets? Hell, even a property? Land?

That's the mistake a lot of people make, not focusing on generational wealth at all causes stagnation to your lineage. Without keeping this in mind every single new adult released into the world, start on square one. It's not in the child's best interest.

Now I grew up with both a mother and father in a relatively middle class stable lifestyle but it's just still not enough. I'm competing against people that have old / long money fueling their ambitions or basic life.

Don't even get me started with grandparents. If your grandparents cannot pass something on you might as well not even meet your fukking grandchildren, otherwise what's the point of you? My grandparents left me ZERO and left my mother and her siblings with debt and anxiety taking care of them in their final years.

I know the circumstances were different back then. But for Christs sake, start building that nest egg or something as soon as your child is born. Pay for their school, down payment for a house, something that can give them an edge rather than starting all over again.

I feel selfish feeling this way. And I even lowkey resent my family for this. It's a complex range of emotions.

But I'm curious how y'all feel about it.

"The lord will provide"

 

[Rawtid]

We came from slavery and were financially illiterate at the time. So where did our folks gain financial literacy? It's not taught in schools, no wonder why.

But it's more than money. What a child needs is unconditional love and support. With that, they're more likely to make their own way even without an inheritance, which is a reality for a lot of us. A million dollars and no self love is not the wave, although it may seem cool for someone who doesn't know any better.

Let’s not mention the INTENTIONAL sabotage at our efforts to build wealth. Our great/grandfathers were not allowed to get a VA loan or access to the GI bill, which many white soldiers used to advance themselves in the military. Even with slavery whites inherited wealth and lands, we were inherited with the trauma.

Some of us really believe we have an equal shot at advancement but we are just choosing otherwise.

 

[Claudex]

I agree with you it's just easier said than done. I had to start from 0 like you because my parents were kids when they had me and didn't really improve. That's literally only because they didn't have the best opportunity to do so themselves. That's just my life though.

I've heard parents in my age (26) group say that they want their kids to come up rough like they did. They don't want them to be entitled. I mean I don't think that's smart but that's just how people think.

I wouldn't show resentment towards my elders because of what they didn't do but I would show appreciation for what they could.

It's not just not smart, but it's an attitude that can bring about the family ruin if you're not lucky enough to have some third party course correct the child's development. I'd expand on that but it's sunday and I'm lazy as fukk.

 

[97Pac]

this is hilarious. You think not helping them is gonna help build wealth for the future generations that might not even exist? What happens when you get down and the kids say fukk pops. We ain't letting all his money go to healthcare. Fukk this shiitty ass house pops left us.

You ain't no better than ya peoples.

Its not my job to rescue them after they've fukked off money for 80+ years. Its a parents job to make sure their child is straight not the other way around. Im not go let these people starve or go without lights in the house but I'm also not about to go broke so they can live a life of luxury. You spent your whole life keeping up with the Jones and now you want your grandkids to foot the bill its not a reasonable request imo.

 

[The Villain]

22 year old me, just got out of college, felt exactly like this. 9 months I had to watch my peers, who I knew I was doing laps around, get the jobs I wanted because of who their parents were and that shyt ate me the fukk up. I absolutely took it out on my folks that they weren’t able to help me the same way. I give them credit though they let me get my frustrations off cause I would not have tolerated somebody talking to me the way I was talking to them.
- Why the fukk don’t y’all know anybody
- why’d you beat it in my brain to go to college and then when I get in everywhere it’s “oops we don’t have any money saved for me.” Like not a fukking dime

At 29, almost 30 I know I wasn’t fair to them. I realized that back then actually when I ended up landing something finally. My folks the first gen in our fam to even go to college, let alone graduate. My gen all went, graduated and we are on a path to be better than our parents were. We just running a different, harder race out here. And to their credit the things I complained about they were able to make up for it in other ways. I just didn’t see it at the time.

I try to not think anymore about some of the help my friends got. but it does eat me up knowing I could be even further along and not have to work as hard if I wasn’t out here building a network completely from scratch in life

 

[Ciggavelli]

What position are you trying to get into at these companies? I’m graduating this year and plan on preparing to apply and see if I can get into one of these companies.

UX Research

 

[get these nets]

I kinda agree.

A parents responsibility is the survival of their offspring.

In a world where parents leave their children economic safety nets to ensure that they thrive in adulthood, if you leave your child with nothing, how can they compete with those that have?

Leaving your children at the bottom of the totem pole increases the chance of annihilation.

While I respect the OP for being candid, he is clearly a troubled man.

"Don't even get me started with grandparents. If your grandparents cannot pass something on you might as well not even meet your fukking grandchildren, otherwise what's the point of you?"

The lessons and centering we get from being around grandparents are priceless.

They should stay away unless they have cash in envelopes, or savings bonds for us?

 

[Guile]

Brehs, generational wealth is literally leaving shyt for your kids.

Black people will never get out of the rut in this country unless they start doing that.

 

[Originalman]

While I respect the OP for being candid, he is clearly a troubled man.

The lessons and centering we get from being around grandparents is priceless.

They should stay away unless they have cash in envelopes, or savings bonds for us?

Breh kats on here either young or blinded by materialism.

I grew up in one of the most well to do neighborhoods in chicago. Many of the nonblack kids in the neighborhood had parents with money. But you know even though they had money. They often times had more personal issues then the so called middle class kids. Normally their fathers or mothers or both weren't home because they had careers where they were never home. Sometimes nannies and other folks raised them. They had situations where mom and dad divorced had huge fights over money. Then got remarried and the kids got thrown to the wayside cause the new spouse didn't want them in the house or wanted their new kids (from the new marriage be the center of attention).

I mentioned on here how I was a teenager and one weekend stayed over the house of a white kat I was cool with. His mom remarried a millionaire plastic surgeon. But the plastic surgeon hated her son. Anyway one evening I was at dinner with them and they started literally swinging on each other over a simple argument. I mean throwing fists at each other, smashing plates tipping over the dinner table. Cursing each other out. shyt was some of the most insane shyt I have ever seen in my life. Supposedly this shyt happened all the time but it was always behind closed doors.

Anyway the white kat had parents (mom and a step dad) who had money. He had a maid and a nanny. But he hated his life at home. Use to come to my house and kick it all the time. Even called my mom and dad..his mom and dad. Anyway the kat ended up dropping out of highschool and running away from home. I found him on facebook some years ago and he was living in California now a girlfriend and like his 4 kids.

 

[Rawtid]

Passing things onto your children is admirable, but as a parent I realize how difficult that is along with trying to provide basic needs. Also leaving children with money doesn't mean they will keep it.