I’m absolutely going thru it right now brehs

Womb Raider

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Do you have kids? Think about the worst thing you've ever done and picture your kids refusing to even talk to you because of it. What would you do? Be careful breh. You can end up in your mother's position, calling your kids and them hating you and ignoring your existence. You gotta learn to forgive and let go as hard as that shyt is especially if you yourself wouldnt be able to handle that shyt if your kid did that to you.
If the mother of my kids died and I laughed at her death in front of them, they’d have reason to hate me out of existence. My mother has her own demons she needs to work out, that doesn’t mean I need to accept her toxicity in my life.
 

The Intergalactic Koala

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:wow:OP we all in this together. While there's some folks that giving you that tough love, I'm not going to go that route but just some gems to keep you on your toes:

Right now, I'm making the income in the household and it's been a strain on my marriage lately. Due to the fact of my wife's illness and how it affects a typical 9 to 5. Now, factor that in with bills piling up and the rent is around the corner. Along with spare time to even deal with the shyt, where my job sadly was my refuge from even thinking about that shyt. Tie that with my slight depression due to feeling lonely despite being married and having a son. It almost feels like the only person that understand's Ace is the dude that gets eyecrust from his eyeballs in the mirror.

tenor.gif

Having to work two times out of the week in the mist of this Rona shyt, dealing with every a$$hole in the great city I reside in because they don't understand the wonders of curbside service:unimpressed:. Now, put that all into the mindset of somebody who wish that his mother was still around because she could make all this shyt sound like a bedtime lullaby. Its hard to have faith in these crazy times but what else can you do? I for one can't do shyt but be black, raise a family, and try to make the most of these times pleasant and meaningful, while God does the rest.

Bottom line, you are only human and it will get better. Cry it out, write it out, or whatever you desire. At the end of the day, you are not alone in this. Hell, I bought Animal Crossing just to get over the problems, while it's not helping with the plans to pay the rent, it's a coping mechanism to show that there's light beyond this bullshyt.

Trust the process :ehh:
 

Black_Panther_JS

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If your mom laughed at your dads death and pushed you away you’d feel the same :yeshrug: don’t speak on something you haven’t gone thru

That's messed up but there's no point in resenting or ignoring her because of it, you never know why somebody does something, or how they truly feel.

My mom has done plenty of terrible things to me when I was growing up but I don't dislike her, hatred and resentment is something that's below me.

Plus you wouldn't want to live with regrets, eventually those who you ignore will pass on and you're last memories would be unpleasant ones, that is if you truly care about them. You said you're worried about the people you care for, assuming your Mother and Grandmother are included in that you shouldn't let something as frivolous as them being "toxic" stop you from at least checking up on them.
 

Womb Raider

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That's messed up but there's no point in resenting or ignoring her because of it, you never know why somebody does something, or how they truly feel.

My mom has done plenty of terrible things to me when I was growing up but I don't dislike her, hatred and resentment is something that's below me.

Plus you wouldn't want to live with regrets, eventually those who you ignore will pass on and you're last memories would be unpleasant ones, that is if you truly care about them. You said you're worried about the people you care for, assuming your Mother and Grandmother are included in that you shouldn't let something as frivolous as them being "toxic" stop you from at least checking up on them.
You don’t understand what I mean when I say they are toxic and that’s because you aren’t in my shoes. I’m going on 26 years old and I’ve been past my threshold for stress even without her in my life. The last thing I will do is listen to the advice of someone on the outside who considers the toxicity of family members to be “frivolous”.
 
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