I'm dating this single mom

[Youseenmywork]

A lot of dudes are hurt. Just from skimming through a couple pages I have seen multiple dudes reference chicks curving them in their 20s and now looking to settle down with the nice guy now that they are in their 30s with kids. There are guys that view single motherhood as comeuppance for poor decision making. Reasonable guys just don't want the extra shyt that comes along with it.

....and it NOT poor decision making ? It about I would said 40 percent good single mothers. You be a single mother and just got out of a marriage. You have your anomalies sure but for the most part a lot of these decisions that woman make in choosing a guy is just bad.

I know about the chicks that got away with murder in there 20s and look for a good man now in there 30. My father's church has a few in there. What is not reasonable is to think your going to be young forever and NOT have to pay for your decisions.

I'm 31 and I agree I don't date single mothers cause I don't want the extra stuff it more to single mothers than what meets the eye.

It's also a science to what I'm saying it's called alpha fux beta bucks...Google it. Hell youtube it.

 

[MalikX]

Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

I don't demonize single moms because I don't have the rejection bitterness of some dudes who do that. A lot of the disrespect thrown towards single moms has its origins in crybaby "she didn't pick meeee!!!!" narratives. (There's a lil green goblin with a high pitched voice is what I'm imagining they sound like)

However I also don't romanticize single motherhood either because it's not an easy lifestyle. There are a lot of elements and nuances to deal with. However, if she is a genuinely good person, there's nothing u can't work beyond.
Just know ur not obligated either way. People will pressure u for their own agendas.
"Don't save that hoe!" (Translation: I was virtually invisible to every decent chick in grade school and so I paint every relationship problem a woman has as a failure to choose a good guy...like my creepy ass. Punish her! Shun her! That's what she gets for not fukking me...er...being a hoe!)

"Marry her immediately!!"(Translation: I live vicariously through every stupid chick who ever opened her legs to the wrong nikka but magically ended up cuffed! Ciara is my patron saint!)

If they are so creepy and unattractive then why do you care that they won't date single mothers?

That's like us getting mad that fat chicks, ugly chicks and single mothers won't date us?

We'll say okay

If we are even bothered to listen to what they have to say. People generally don't care about anything people lower than them have to say.

It sounds like you do care to be honest

 

[Youseenmywork]

 

[FTBS]

....and it NOT poor decision making ? It about I would said 40 percent good single mothers. You be a single mother and just got out of a marriage. You have your anomalies sure but for the most part a lot of these decisions that woman make in choosing a guy is just bad.

I know about the chicks that got away with murder in there 20s and look for a good man now in there 30. My father's church has a few in there. What is not reasonable is to think your going to be young forever and NOT have to pay for your decisions.

I'm 31 and I agree I don't date single mothers cause I don't want the extra stuff it more to single mothers than what meets the eye.

It's also a science to what I'm saying it's called alpha fux beta bucks...Google it. Hell youtube it.

I never denied the decision making piece. That doesn't change the fact that for many dudes are in their feelings due to the rejection they have received.

 

[Youseenmywork]

I never denied the decision making piece. That doesn't change the fact that for many dudes are in their feelings due to the rejection they have received.

I really could into depth about how rejection is diffrent for a man but I'm not thoe I'm let yall cook ....

 

[FTBS]

I really could into depth about how rejection is diffrent for a man but I'm not thoe I'm let yall cook ....

I don't need you to, I know all about it firsthand. That's how I know and can state confidently that there is no benefit to being consumed with hate towards females, no matter what they have put you through.

 

[Youseenmywork]

I don't need you to, I know all about it firsthand. That's how I know and can state confidently that there is no benefit to being consumed with hate towards females, no matter what they have put you through.

...but as patrice would say I know why men RESENT women to a degree. It's just men channel it diffrent some guys become Playas some nikka become macks....some dudes become bitter and that come from them not wanting to put in work. I might just post that patrice oneal clip were he breaks it down so beautifully.

 

[FTBS]

...but as patrice would say I know why men RESENT women to a degree. It's just men channel it diffrent some guys become Playas some nikka become macks....some dudes become bitter and that come from them not wanting to put in work. I might just post that patrice oneal clip were he breaks it down so beautifully.

Please do. I am a fan.

I know why too. I get it. I just don't think it's healthy or beneficial for the individual or for the community. The family, especially the black family, is in shambles because everybody wants to be in on this "Battle of the Sexes" bullshyt and it's all about finger-pointing and getting over rather than coming together and trying to build. If you had fewer guys trying to be players and macks and instead trying to be husbands and fathers, we would all be better off. I've had chicks that created resentment within me too. However, I now realize and accept the errors on my part that contributed to those situations. It's silly to resent someone else over your own fukk up. It's like resenting basketball rims after you missed a bunch of shots because you didn't didn't put the work in to learn how to shoot properly first.

This applies to both genders BTW.

 

[Youseenmywork]

Please do. I am a fan.

I know why too. I get it. I just don't think it's healthy or beneficial for the individual or for the community. The family, especially the black family, is in shambles because everybody wants to be in on this "Battle of the Sexes" bullshyt and it's all about finger-pointing and getting over rather than coming together and trying to build. If you had fewer guys trying to be players and macks and instead trying to be husbands and fathers, we would all be better off. I've had chicks that created resentment within me too. However, I now realize and accept the errors on my part that contributed to those situations. It's silly to resent someone else over your own fukk up. It's like resenting basketball rims after you missed a bunch of shots because you didn't didn't put the work in to learn how to shoot properly first.

This applies to both genders BTW.

I agree to the point that if you fix men you fix women. The thing about thoe women DON'T wanna understand out perspective cause if men are happy first it makes it easier to want to put and love the right women. I will find it and post that clip.At 31 I tell any young start with patrice oneal black phillip show and then you will hear men that feel just like you so you know it just not you that is going threw it. Then start listening to dante as he has picked up the torch with the beige Phillip show. Listen to both so you'll know how to chanel that resentment.

 

[morris]

Do you want kids? With her??

 

[shutterguy]

This is always a heated topic on here. I'm curious how many in this thread have dated single mothers.....

I will say this from experience, it does make it hard when you get attached to the kids.... especially if they are calling/asking you to do stuff with them.

 

[Paradise50]

The defending of single mothers on here is one of many, many reasons black people aren't going anywhere.

Nothing wrong w/ a single mother w/ 1 kid. Now 2 or more is

I'd say if you're <40 then don't do it ....but if you're over 40 and the kids damn near out the house then go for it

 

[Diyhai]

....and it NOT poor decision making ? It about I would said 40 percent good single mothers. You be a single mother and just got out of a marriage. You have your anomalies sure but for the most part a lot of these decisions that woman make in choosing a guy is just bad.

I know about the chicks that got away with murder in there 20s and look for a good man now in there 30. My father's church has a few in there. What is not reasonable is to think your going to be young forever and NOT have to pay for your decisions.

I'm 31 and I agree I don't date single mothers cause I don't want the extra stuff it more to single mothers than what meets the eye.

It's also a science to what I'm saying it's called alpha fux beta bucks...Google it. Hell youtube it.

The men creating these babies are also poor decision makers
Nyggas got stop with the alpha beta shyt like men don't do the same
men wanna fukk mad hoes but won't make those hoes their wife
in the same way women have dudes they just wanna have sex with and men they want to settle down with
Same shyt recognize the game and position urself correctly

 

[FTBS]

I agree to the point that if you fix men you fix women. The thing about thoe women DON'T wanna understand out perspective cause if men are happy first it makes it easier to want to put and love the right women. I will find it and post that clip.At 31 I tell any young start with patrice oneal black phillip show and then you will hear men that feel just like you so you know it just not you that is going threw it. Then start listening to dante as he has picked up the torch with the beige Phillip show. Listen to both so you'll know how to chanel that resentment.

Neither side understands the other because everybody is so self-centered...until it comes time to assign blame that is. The reality is that most guys, especially younger guys don't really know who the right woman is. We think that pretty face, fat ass, nice smile=the right woman. We step to these chicks with no understanding of the game, get curved and never consider how shytty of a person she actually was or how weak we were when we stepped to her. It's all about "bytches ain't shyt". Same thing with chicks, they think tall, muscular, money, nice mouthpiece=the right guy. They throw the nikka the ass, get left with a kid or two or more , and never consider or take responsibility for their own shytty vetting or decision making. It's all about "trifflin ass nikkas".

 

[FTBS]

The men creating these babies are also poor decision makers
Nyggas got stop with the alpha beta shyt like men don't do the same
men wanna fukk mad hoes but won't make those hoes their wife
in the same way women have dudes they just wanna have sex with and men they want to settle down with
Same shyt recognize the game and position urself correctly

I was with you until here. Women are not getting knocked up by male jumpoffs. More often than not these are nikkas they want to settle down with. The nikka getting treated like the jumpoff is the "friend" who they never have sex with.