I'm seriously contemplating ending my own life

TrebleMan

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It's a short read. I was at rock bottom at one point, one of the things that completely turned it around:



Only 68 pages/56 minutes on audible.

If you're serious about it, then in the next hour this is the only thing you need to be doing.

Also read this guy's blog, starting with this one maybe:
Screw Finding Your Passion

Dude is really up-front, blunt, may have a trace of :mjpls: but just calls it like he sees it and airs everyone out. At the end of the day, still gives excellent realistic advice.
 
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NotAnFBIagent

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Im on effexor now. It's the worst. Withdrawals and shyt. Tried everything else in the previous years
Yeah i know how it is im on the highest dose now u just gotta push through it and try to find things that make it better and give u reason for going on
People who haven't experienced depression dont know how real it can get so u cany expect them to understand
 

Scarface sniffin cocaine

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Don't do it breh:mjcry:

Call the line
Go get some fresh air
Think about and do things that bring you joy
No need to have your fam sad:to:

Get help at least for your son sake..
 

CinnaSlim

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It's kinda sad how Im getting desensitized to this type of threads.

OP, if you want to live you need to change your life(style). It's gonna take work. You will fall and fail. But failure is not the end of the world. It's an opportunity to learn and for growth.

You made this thread because you want to live but you are considering suicide will be the easy way out. You can kill yourself if you want but you are just transferring your pain to other people. To live means to strive, to try, to fail, to hurt, to heal, to feel, to love. It's joy and pain, birth and death. It is a journey. Times may be tough now but life happens in cycles and seasons. The rough times make you stronger and help you appreciate the good.

Shift your focus. You focus on the negative and you feel negative, you begin a downward spiral of depression and a victim mentality. Nothing matters because everything is against you, you feel you can't win so you won't. But that is not true. You are stronger than you know and trying builds strength. I implore you to try. Take it one day, 5 minutes, 1 minute at a time. If I can make through these 5 minutes, I can do 5 more. and continue until you get to 10, 20, 30 minutes even an hour.

You have survived for 28 years! Look at what you've accomplished! You've created a son. Your job is to help your son, pass on your wisdom to each generation. Your job is to find your happiness. Your job is to live. That's the first and primary objective you have is just to live.
 

Lo-Co

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Honestly that ain't worth it. Now I've been through some depression. Hell i still go through it. Ive been in that same boat in my younger days, even made that leap but it wasnt worth worth it. You have a son. Think about how much harder his life would be without you, to need a male role model in your life when hes no where to be found, the thoughts of confusion, the wondering of what you could have did to help that person. Its a pathway youYou could pm me if you need someone to vent to. I used to be on the anti depressants, the emotions, the whole 9. Simply talking to someone could open the possible door to help. Message me if you ever need someone to talk to.
 

CinnaSlim

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Struggle is not the end all be all. Struggle helps you connect on the same level of others who share your struggle and to give and recieve advice. Why dont you find a depression support group?
 

Unknown Poster

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I was at this point a while back until things started to turn around, and dawg, I was at ROCK BOTTOM! And this whole forum can attest to it too.

HOMELESS! SLEEPING IN A CAR! UNDER A BRIDGE!

Til through my own hard work and determination, I made it from that position...to working on wall street...to running a clothing shop that I owned and managed (a temporary retail experience to host my original products) during fashion week. I've never been happier, it's crazy to think how much can change in less than a year.

The point is: Suicide is a PERMANENT solution to a TEMPORARY problem. Whatever it is that is bothering you can't be that bad...to not be able to turn it around.

Really though, if you want someone to talk to away from this public forum, I am just one PM away.
 
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Just go find someone to talk to because we're not good company. I can't help you from all the way over here.

Find a suicide hotline and call it.
 

hypo666

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Some time ago, I thought I reached my lowest point and just couldn't see the point of living .Long story how I got to that point, but it was basically building up in me for years and one day I just snapped. I should have got help earlier ,but I just thought I could struggle through it. I tried to jump off here.

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Beachy Head - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I did some quick research early one morning about what was the most reliable way to kill yourself, and not having a gun I picked this place. I then got on a train and went there. Never bothered leaving a suicide note, I just didn't give a fukk. I tried walking there from the train station, got to a bit without a side walk so couldn't go any further so I walked all the way back to town and got a taxi up there and lied to the taxi driver. The taxi driver was arab,I don't think he understood me anyway,but I had read before I left that taxi drivers are told to look out for certain types of people like me, so I told him the lie about what I was doing up there anyway. I think he bought the lie.

So I got there,walked straight up to the edge,and fukk me I didn't realise how high it was. I couldn't physically throw myself off pictures do not do the bytch justice ,. So I thought the wind would blow me off ,so I actually stood on one leg and shut my eyes hoping it would unbalance me and I would drop off. I carried on doing this for a long long time. Then I started to hear voices, and somehow I got talking to the faceless people. while I was in that position. I kind of 'woke up' then, realised I wasn't able and turned around and there stood around6 police officers. I tried to turn back but then they all jumped on me .

They took me to the police station and I have to say, I was treated so well by those police officers. I went up to their canteen and they made me a hamburger and chips. I couldn't eat it. but while I was waiting to be taken to hospital, those cops I credit with saving my life,because they persuaded me that life was worth living and they were the first people I told about my childhood . They didn't judge,just listened as I shouted swore and cried and one huge cop put his arm round me. And a police woman went to the hospital with me and stayed hours after her shift had ended and after a few weeks came to visit me to say goodbye before I was transferred to a secure unit in my home town.I resolved never to go back to beachy head and put those cops through that because I later realised how upset they all were,I felt very selfish.

There started the slow process of rebuilding and it would have been far simpler if I had gone for help first, as while Iam back at work now and have a good life, because of my suicide attempt I spent months and years needing a massive amount of support and people kind of don't trust you anymore.Hospitals aren't terrible but they aren't nice and to be honest I preferred the police station! I also have to deal not just with PTSD from my childhood which I should have got help for years ago , but also the attempt itself.

My advice, make that phone call to the suicide line, go to ER, see your GP and be honest, don't be like me and try and be tough and end up seriously in the shyt.
 
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It is a chemical imbalance. Once the imbalance is corrected you will no longer have these thoughts.

You need to do research on nutrition and get blood work done to determine any severe deficiencies.

If you haven't started taking a multi-vitamin start one tomorrow. That one step will change your life - I promise.
 
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