I've been trying to get a girlfriend for the past 10 years

[the cool]

Very mature.

Lol you must be a short nikka

 

[Sithlord Piff]

Are you just going up to chicks asking "Will you be my girlfriend"?

 

[DrX]

Damn if u get rejected 1000 tomes yes something is wrong...u shower right?

 

[DarkHorse23]

It gets more complicated the further you go down the rabbit hole. Now for full disclosure, I never really had to work hard on my social skills. I grew up in a large family, so most of my family members and I have natural social skills. For me it was about just being comfortable in my environment letting my natural self come out.

The question I have for you, is what kind of person are you when you are around your family members or friends. Are you more out-going or are you still reserved. I'm not going to lie, it will be easier to get women if you are naturally out-going but at the same time there are plenty of reserved dudes out there who have women banging down their door. If you are naturally more reserved don't try to be someone that you are not. Females will see right through the disingenuity and that will be the end of that lol.

To be honest, though, being more reserved can also be an advantage. Females, especially the more attractive ones, are fiends for male attention. I guarantee you, if you just go about your business and deny beautiful women in your nearby vicinity attention, sooner or later they will start popping up around you. It's because you present a challenge. And fundamentally this is what all women want. Whatever you do, don't be the dude that gives away his attention/time for free.

Time is your most valuable resource! One of my favorite quotes, “In the time of your life-live…Time is short and it doesn’t return again. It is slipping away while I write this and while you read it, and the monosyllable of the clock is Loss, loss, loss, unless you devote your heart to its opposition." A women should have to earn it and more importantly, real women, confident women, beautiful women want to earn it. They deeply desire the opportunity to use their feminine abilities to woo a high value man.

Family : More comfortable, opinionated especially if it's a subject i have strong opinions we're talking about. It also depends on the family member too. More personality displayed around my mother than my father.

Close Friends : More outspoken, opinionated. Funny.

Close friends + Strangers (aka large groups of people) : More reserved, quiet. Not as talkative. In fact i've had friends ask me why i'm being so quiet, not social. Hey i don't like larger groups of people, and large groups with people in it I don't really know. So i'll tend to play more observer, listener, because i'm not trying to say anything stupid lol. I suppose that's my social awkwardness/shyness showing.

 

[yyy]

So once again it come downs to self improvement. Do that and everything concerning women will take care of its self.

You mentioned improving your social skills? Do you mean changing your personality. I'm more of a reserved, too myself type of guy(until i get to know you, or until i feel comfortable around you). Does that mean i should be someone else?

That was a great post BTW.

I decided to break down what I wanted to say because it was getting kind of long. Here's the second part.

To be honest, I don't like the term self-improvement because many times, people who talk about self improvement only deal with superficial effects rather than the deeper causes. For example, an unhealthy women would say I'm going to cut back on fast food. Well that's good...I guess...but what about eating vegetables and fruits, what about drinking water instead of soda, what about working out. This is why I talk about mindset. Cutting back fast food is a good thing, but that by itself won't make you healthy. To get to the point where you are living a truly healthy lifestyle and figuring things out for yourself, you have to adopt the right mindset i.e. you have to become a new person.

If you are struggling with girls now, and sometime in the future you plan on being truly successful with girls, it will be because fundamentally you are a different person. The way you walk will be different, the way you talk will be different, the confidence that you show on the outside will be grounded in the confidence that you feel on the inside and that will be grounded in the fact that you are truly a man. I.E. you've faced your fears and overcame them whatever they may be and you chasing your goals and dreams daily. This is why Ralph Waldo Emerson the 18th century essayist and public speaker said, "He has not learned the lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear."

And this is why MLK wrote, "Courage and cowardice are antithetical. Courage is an inner resolution to go forward in spite of obstacles and frightening situations; cowardice is a submissive surrender to circumstance. Courage breeds creative self-affirmation; cowardice produces destructive self-abnegation. Courage faces fear and thereby masters it; cowardice represses fear and is thereby mastered by it. Courageous men never lose the zest for living even though their life situation is zestless; cowardly men, overwhelmed by the uncertainties of life, lose the will to live."

In the final analysis, nothing I'm saying is extreme or outlandish. I think it's something that we all sorta know deep down, but we try to delude ourselves from reality. But, as James Baldwin would say, there is no avoiding having to pay your dues. I want to be clear, nothing I'm saying is easy but it is the truth.


But if you can accept that life is hard, if you can accept that there's no way to avoid paying your dues, then eventually you'll get the benefits that comes along with embracing the way life truly is. Ultimately, women want men...Men who are courageous. Men who are confident. Men who are winners. And when you start living that life, you start to understand why it's so silly to be worried about what girl A thinks about you or what girl B thinks about you. And to be honest, this is the only way human beings truly improve, not dealing with superficial actions but instead dealing with mindset. But don't just take my word for it...listen for like 3 minutes.

 

[DarkHorse23]

Lol you must be a short nikka

And If I am...so?

 

[DarkHorse23]

I decided to break down what I wanted to say because it was getting kind of long. Here's the second part.

To be honest, I don't like the term self-improvement because many times, people who talk about self improvement only deal with superficial effects rather than the deeper causes. For example, an unhealthy women would say I'm going to cut back on fast food. Well that's good...I guess...but what about eating vegetables and fruits, what about drinking water instead of soda, what about working out. This is why I talk about mindset. Cutting back fast food is a good thing, but that by itself won't make you healthy. To get to the point where you are living a truly healthy lifestyle and figuring things out for yourself, you have to adopt the right mindset i.e. you have to become a new person.

If you are struggling with girls now, and sometime in the future you plan on being truly successful with girls, it will be because fundamentally you are a different person. The way you walk will be different, the way you talk will be different, the confidence that you show on the outside will be grounded in the confidence that you feel on the inside and that will be grounded in the fact that you are truly a man. I.E. you've faced your fears and overcame them whatever they may be and you chasing your goals and dreams daily. This is why Ralph Waldo Emerson the 18th century essayist and public speaker said, "He has not learned the lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear."

And this is why MLK wrote, "Courage and cowardice are antithetical. Courage is an inner resolution to go forward in spite of obstacles and frightening situations; cowardice is a submissive surrender to circumstance. Courage breeds creative self-affirmation; cowardice produces destructive self-abnegation. Courage faces fear and thereby masters it; cowardice represses fear and is thereby mastered by it. Courageous men never lose the zest for living even though their life situation is zestless; cowardly men, overwhelmed by the uncertainties of life, lose the will to live."

In the final analysis, nothing I'm saying is extreme or outlandish. I think it's something that we all sorta know deep down, but we try to delude ourselves from reality. But, as James Baldwin would say, there is no avoiding having to pay your dues. I want to be clear, nothing I'm saying is easy but it is the truth.


But if you can accept that life is hard, if you can accept that there's no way to avoid paying your dues, then eventually you'll get the benefits that comes along with embracing the way life truly is. Ultimately, women want men...Men who are courageous. Men who are confident. Men who are winners. And when you start living that life, you start to understand why it's so silly to be worried about what girl A thinks about you or what girl B thinks about you. And to be honest, this is the only way human beings truly improve, not dealing with superficial actions but instead dealing with mindset. But don't just take my word for it...listen for like 3 minutes.

How long did it take you truly stop caring? Wanting companionship, there's nothing wrong with that, but allowing validation from women or not getting it and becoming depressed about it is one of my problems definitely. That's not a good thing i'd imagine.

 

[RandomDudeOnColi]

Your either too ugly, too awkward, too desperate or going after girls way out of your league. Any normal dude thats a 4 or above in terms of looks should of had at least one girl that showed interests in them during that time frame.

 

[yyy]

Family : More comfortable, opinionated especially if it's a subject i have strong opinions we're talking about. It also depends on the family member too. More personality displayed around my mother than my father.

Close Friends : More outspoken, opinionated. Funny.

Close friends + Strangers (aka large groups of people) : More reserved, quiet. Not as talkative. In fact i've had friends ask me why i'm being so quiet, not social. Hey i don't like larger groups of people, and large groups with people in it I don't really know. So i'll tend to play more observer, listener, because i'm not trying to say anything stupid lol. I suppose that's my social awkwardness/shyness showing.

Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that. The key is to get girls into situations where you are comfortable rather than trying to become someone you are not. When you can get them in one-on-one or small group conversations, your true self comes out that's when you pounce lol. Show them how amazing you are. Show them the complexity of your inner being. But at the same time, give her opportunities to impress you.

Don't be one of those fools, bending over backwards to talk to a girl. While I may miss some opportunities here and there I am not desperate so I don't care. And the girls think I'm just obtuse so they try to make it more obvious that they want to talk to me. If you have the ability to carry on good conversations with anybody, then you have enough social skills to interact with girls. They are people to. The only difference between them and us is that they use makeup and a 1000 other different mechanisms to hide their flaws, while our flaws are out in the open for all to see.

Seeing how I didn't mention this before, another key to getting attractive girls is being in places where there are multiple attractive girls (a lot of this stuff is simple once you think about it lol). If you are going about your daily life and there are no girls that you find sexually attractive, then something needs to change. The lack of sexually attractive girls will inevitably produce desperation because when you see one you'll be thinking "Don't fukk this up, don't fukk this up." This is not something that changing your mindset will affect. So bear in mind that you might need to find events/places where there are an abundance of sexually attractive women.

 

[Anti-Anime]

Stop watching chinaman cartoons and women will start giving you some attention

 

[Blackout]

Yall had no mercy on the brotha

 

[yyy]

How long did it take you truly stop caring? Wanting companionship, there's nothing wrong with that, but allowing validation from women or not getting it and becoming depressed about it is one of my problems definitely. That's not a good thing i'd imagine.

You never stop caring completely. But after you interact with girls enough, you realize that men and women are different. You see from a distance, if you don't understand girls, it is very hard to interact with them (talking about attractive girls here) because you only see them at their best. You see the beautiful face, their breasts sitting just right in their tight shirt, their sexy legs, and the curvature of their ass and you are like, "Holy shyt, I just saw angel." Once you start interacting with them up close on a daily basis, though, you see they are just normal human beings with their own insecurities. You see their effusive use of make up, you see how long they take to get ready, you see all of the effort they put in to look their best and at the same time you realize that you are completely different. I am not judge on how I look, but rather what I have accomplished. That's not to say that looks don't matter but that is to say that looks aren't the end all and be all. So to answer your question, I stopped "caring" when I realized that women need men as much as men need women. We were meant for each other.

At the same time, I have a whole bunch of other issues that I plague me so life never gets easy, the challenges just change. The problem I run into now, is that women don't see men as men see women. You see right now you're thinking, man I'm going to do all of this and then I'll be drowning in p*ssy. The reality, however, is that women don't go out of their way and invest time in seducing a man to just have him fukk her and disappear. When a woman see's a man they want, they try to capture and keep him. So if you want to sleep around, you have to pretty much lie or at the very least be very unclear about your real intentions because women think long term (this is why women become jaded). I'm pretty much of the opinion that the only people who enjoy a bunch of hot no strings attached sex with hot women are celebrities. But even then, women do stupid things to keep them like poking holes in the condom. But, this meme expresses how women think.

Very problematic for a good dude, who just wants to have fun and not break hearts. I'm not complaining though, with great power comes great responsibility .

*A caveat is that I deal mostly with attractive, successful, ambitious and confident women. Women with low self-esteem/self-confidence will likely let you fukk her while also not committing whatsoever lol, but I don't interact with those kinds of women.

 

[MalikX]

I'm going to jump in here. The sad reality is that most guys are completely clueless when it comes to women. Let me repeat that, most guys are completely clueless when it comes to women. There is no "right way" to ask a women out. Rather what you should ask is if you are the right guy or not. That's the only thing that matters. If you are the right guy, then it doesn't matter how you ask her out, if you are the wrong guy, then no matter how you ask her out it will be wrong. Stop looking for a bag of tricks and start focusing on becoming a man. That in a nut shell is what women are looking for. Women want to be with winners not losers.

Women would rather, many times over, compete and pull their hair out trying to figure out how to make a winner their own, than settle for a loser. When you start winning at life, you will naturally give off an air of confidence. Women can sense this like Spider-Man can sense bad guys. You want to know the secret to getting women, turn yourself into a guy they want to seduce. When that happens, you can talk to them normally and their panties will be getting wet. Women know whether you are a guy they want to seduce before they even talk to you. Let me repeat that, before they even talk to you Women know. This is why it's so important to be aware of your surroundings. When a woman just pops up out of nowhere and is giving you signals that she's interested that is the time to pounce. You make think that that was a random occurrence but I assure you it was not. She probably scoped you out, decided that you have the potential to be the man of dreams, figured out your normal routine and placed herself in your daily path.

Now let me ask you a question, if a woman does all that, do you really think it matters how you ask her out. Like if I say, 'Hey, let me get your number" or "Miss you're beautiful let me get your facebook and we can continue this conversation online" do you really think it matters. Trust, off the sheer thrill that all her planning has born fruits, she'll barely be able to contain her excitement. Her sympathetic nervous system will have already started to prepare for sex and in her head, she's already planning out how the relationship will go. Stop focusing on girls, and start focusing on becoming successful. Focus on getting your money up, focus on improving your social skills and focus on becoming a leader. You do those things and you'll have to beat the women off with a stick. And then you can see the ugly side of life. Regarding that I'll just say this, natural human attraction is one of the strongest desires that human beings have.

Why are women worth all of this effort and labor? What are THEY doing to make themselves better to men or is them having a functioning p*ssy good enough?

Sounds pretty stupid that men have to go through all this bread and circus for female affection and for what? What do we really get out of it? Societal expectation to marry? 60% of us will get divorced. Sire children? You can do that anyway. Not to die alone? We all die alone.

To hell with it. My dad is in a loveless and hopeless marriage. My uncle is twice divorced. My other uncle lost $200,000 in his divorce. The rest are in okay marriages but, I envy none of their lives. Is that the end result of "making yourself better so women will like you"....I'm okay

How about stop caring about what women think or what they want and live your own life how you want. How about I want a million dollars because I WANT a million dollars. Not so some rancid cumbreath party girl will think I'm worthy then. How about I want enough passive income and financial independence so I can achieve a lifestyle of complete location independence and be able to travel the world at the drop of the dime. Not so some delusional woman can say i'm good mating material and start picking out starter houses, private schools, luxury cars and other ways to frivolously spend my money. How about I want to find importance in life because I want to find my calling on Earth. Not so some entitled smut bag with cum stains all over her dress can think I'm a winner

 

[DarkHorse23]

Why are women worth all of this effort and labor? What are THEY doing to make themselves better to men or is them having a functioning p*ssy good enough?

Sounds pretty stupid that men have to go through all this bread and circus for female affection and for what? What do we really get out of it? Societal expectation to marry? 60% of us will get divorced. Sire children? You can do that anyway. Not to die alone? We all die alone.

To hell with it. My dad is in a loveless and hopeless marriage. My uncle is twice divorced. My other uncle lost $200,000 in his divorce. The rest are in okay marriages but, I envy none of their lives. Is that the end result of "making yourself better so women will like you"....I'm okay

How about stop caring about what women think or what they want and live your own life how you want. How about I want a million dollars because I WANT a million dollars. Not so some rancid cumbreath party girl will think I'm worthy then. How about I want enough passive income and financial independence so I can achieve a lifestyle of complete location independence and be able to travel the world at the drop of the dime. Not so some delusional woman can say i'm good mating material and start picking out starter houses, private schools, luxury cars and other ways to frivolously spend my money. How about I want to find importance in life because I want to find my calling on Earth. Not so some entitled smut bag with cum stains all over her dress can think I'm a winner

I understand where you're coming from, but to act like you don't need/want a woman is being in denial. Women anger me, hell im angry at a specific woman right now(as I type this) but it doesn't change the fact I want attractive women in my life. I can't help it.

 

[AquaCityBoy]

I asked out my first girl in 2006
She said no
Between then and now I've asked out at least thousands of women with no luck
You miss every shot You don't take


- blackierobinson

Dat virginity tho.