I've come to the conclusion that I hate being in relationships

Yagirlcheatinonus

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Don’t forget the shyt tests. Everything is a test and if you don’t respond the way she want you to you will hear about it.
 
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My challenges with relationships ....

I can say I'm never going to be monogamous . I can be with a women and she be my main and we can have more in common that sex but I'm not going to be monogamous but I'm not always going to be on the hunt either .

I'm an introvert so I'm usually to myself and it's days I don't want to be bothered with someone . I my not want to cohabitate with a women either. I believe one of the reasons that it 45% of marriages is sexless is because many people aren't honest up front about what they like and what they are into . Sex is more important than many would like to say . Me personally create my own 50 shades of grey type shyt. That what I'm into and how I give up which why to me it pointless to judge a women when it comes to this area . I believe nthe problem most men have is women do all this stuff in they 20s and when they get married the sex at best is tame or pedestrian. To me it's because women did all the "spicing up" in they 20 . If women carried that same energy into a marriage I don't think it would be this many sexless marriages. Nobody seems to want to be honest up front and everybody is selling a dream to a degree .

Naturally I want a feminine women that is balanced that is sweet carry and all that other good shyt . Most men should arrive to find a women that is balanced with they personal yin and yang polarities. I have some challenges on my hand with I'm really simple but with women it can get complicated cause I'm not romantic I'm not getting on one knee basically I don't live by the ABCDs of life . I'm respectful and courteous i just don't see a need to do all this shyt we were conditioned to do . I dont think I will ever compromise my happiness ...that why I also don't have a problem being by myself ....my happiness comes first .
 
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That Rona got nikkas going through it and questioning their relationships. I already have 2 friends who filed for divorce in the last 2-3 months (15+ year marriages).


That Rona has told the truth about a lot of people's relationships. I'm pretty sure the divorce rate will in crease as well. Hopefully it forces people to be more truthful and introduce each other to the real person quicker in stead of selling a dream .
 

BaldingSoHard

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I’m late to the party and you may have already addressed this, but I’ve got to ask...what is your true intention with your lady and have you stated it to her directly and in a way which leaves no room for misunderstanding?

“Is” implies probability at first but the subsequent “if” implies possibility. Do you want to leave your lady or stay with her...is the answer clear cut for you, deep down?

Are you hoping she just breaks up with you and saves you from the burden of having to figure out how to navigate the emotional messiness of that as well - the possibility of you being the bad guy if you initiate it, I mean? Given what you said about her moving to be closer to you and her family dropping hints, it is not far-fetched this is what would await you if you dumped her first...are you trying to avoid that?

If you plan to break up with her, what is holding you back from executing that sooner than later? For her sake, her time is ticking and she can’t afford to waste her you her years, so why not let her know what you really want? She is likely holding on and waiting for the payoff she does not know seems not to be coming. Did you invite her to move out where you are, or did she make that decision on her own? If she did, did you try to stop her?


This sounds like absolute hell. Sounds like you are tolerating her but you really want your space. Couple that with having to be the center of someone else’s world...

The thought alone makes me want to pull out my hair. The thought of another adult interpreting most of their sense of happiness thru them being in a relationship with me would scare the hell out of me, too. LOTS of personal space is something I could not see living without and still being mentally healthy...you have my sincere sympathy, sir.


Still, if this is how you feel truly, you are doing yourself nor her no favors by not telling her. What will you do?

ETA: I see where you said she moved out to be with you, despite her knowing your stance on marriage and kids. You have good things to say about her, too... but based on what you are saying, she heard you but did not listen. It does not seem likely this will end well.

I honestly don't know what I'm going to do.

I love her and her happiness is important to me, but the relationship itself is not, if that makes sense.

Sometimes I think, "Okay, I can do this... just gotta get thru the day." Then the day is over and I think, "Whew, made it. Just.... 44 more years..." and it's like hell no.

But I've broken so many hearts in my life and as I get older the stakes get higher and the broken hearts get worse for the women in my life. I just don't know if I have the heart to destroy another good woman. I know she would eventually be fine, but a breakup would ruin her next two years at least. Hell I have an ex I dumped in 2015 who still cries over it monthly (I'm told). Ugh....

I just don't know.
 
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I honestly don't know what I'm going to do.

I love her and her happiness is important to me, but the relationship itself is not, if that makes sense.

Sometimes I think, "Okay, I can do this... just gotta get thru the day." Then the day is over and I think, "Whew, made it. Just.... 44 more years..." and it's like hell no.

But I've broken so many hearts in my life and as I get older the stakes get higher and the broken hearts get worse for the women in my life. I just don't know if I have the heart to destroy another good woman. I know she would eventually be fine, but a breakup would ruin her next two years at least. Hell I have an ex I dumped in 2015 who still cries over it monthly (I'm told). Ugh....

I just don't know.

If you break up with her rn would you feel heartbroken?
 

Pimp

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I honestly don't know what I'm going to do.

I love her and her happiness is important to me, but the relationship itself is not, if that makes sense.

Sometimes I think, "Okay, I can do this... just gotta get thru the day." Then the day is over and I think, "Whew, made it. Just.... 44 more years..." and it's like hell no.

But I've broken so many hearts in my life and as I get older the stakes get higher and the broken hearts get worse for the women in my life. I just don't know if I have the heart to destroy another good woman. I know she would eventually be fine, but a breakup would ruin her next two years at least. Hell I have an ex I dumped in 2015 who still cries over it monthly (I'm told). Ugh....

I just don't know.

Relationships aren't normal. I don't think it's possible to fully commit to one person forever. The more money i make the more space i want for myself. I like going out with women and having fun but I like time for myself more.
 
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