PlainSight
Anon
No OP, you're not pathetic. However, you just have some issues of self esteem you need to work through, and possibly need to talk to someone about it. As men, we don't really utilize these kind of options enough because it's not "masculine" but you're hurting yourself.
I struggle with a lot of the same insecurities as you regarding women. I have often felt unattractive and have done for years, also had the same worries about rejection. It's definitely a confidence issue, and likely as you said you've been called ugly all your life, it's likely that this has completely warped your self perception. I can't just tell you to stop being scared and start talking to women, because that advice would be hollow and won't help you. What you need is tangible steps to deal with your fear of rejection by women.
These are all things that I am/have been working on myself.
Talk to more people in general including women. Don't put pressure on yourself to ask them out straight away, just talk to them about light stuff. Get comfortable in their presence. This was difficult at first for me because of my autism and I can not always segway into small talk and shyt like that, but with time and practice, you'll get better at interacting. If you wanna up the ante after that, a next step would be to practice flirting. Again, no need to go straight into asking girls out, but becoming more comfortable in social situations with them. Place yourself in scenarios where you literally have to talk to them - activities, bars, whatever. Strike up conversation. Then you can start asking them out - it will still be nervewracking, but it's like that for all of us. I don't approach strange women all the time, but I have done on occasion and I've had a couple dates from it despite my own anxiety about feeling like women don't like me. So I know that it's all in my head!
Can you read social cues? If you can, that will be useful for all of the above too.
Also, looks do matter to an extent, and you can control that to an extent. Part of the reason I have felt unattractive is because I have always been unfit and slightly out of shape despite my physique. To rectify that, been getting into working out for the last 6 months. I fell off last month but started training already this week and feel good about it. You will feel more confident in yourself if you feel confident about how you look. One way to do that is to work out, and try to find your own style in terms of dress, grooming etc. This is all shyt I never gave a fukk about till recently. My confidence still takes a battering, but I'm far more secure in myself now having done all of the above than I have been at any other point.
The things you tell yourself are the most important things you will hear. If you tell yourself continually that women will reject you, you won't be able to do the above things and you will perpetuate that fear. My advice is to start telling yourself a different story. Tell yourself that you aren't scared of women, and that you are a social and attractive person in your own right. Then work on becoming that person. Use therapy if you have to. Get a noticeboard and write down all the things you need to work on and pin it so you're reminded.
This is only loosely related, but I would also recommend having a creative hobby like music or art. This will give a lot of your pent up energy a channel and will also help you find other activities to do where you can potentially meet women.
Good luck man
I struggle with a lot of the same insecurities as you regarding women. I have often felt unattractive and have done for years, also had the same worries about rejection. It's definitely a confidence issue, and likely as you said you've been called ugly all your life, it's likely that this has completely warped your self perception. I can't just tell you to stop being scared and start talking to women, because that advice would be hollow and won't help you. What you need is tangible steps to deal with your fear of rejection by women.
These are all things that I am/have been working on myself.
Talk to more people in general including women. Don't put pressure on yourself to ask them out straight away, just talk to them about light stuff. Get comfortable in their presence. This was difficult at first for me because of my autism and I can not always segway into small talk and shyt like that, but with time and practice, you'll get better at interacting. If you wanna up the ante after that, a next step would be to practice flirting. Again, no need to go straight into asking girls out, but becoming more comfortable in social situations with them. Place yourself in scenarios where you literally have to talk to them - activities, bars, whatever. Strike up conversation. Then you can start asking them out - it will still be nervewracking, but it's like that for all of us. I don't approach strange women all the time, but I have done on occasion and I've had a couple dates from it despite my own anxiety about feeling like women don't like me. So I know that it's all in my head!
Can you read social cues? If you can, that will be useful for all of the above too.
Also, looks do matter to an extent, and you can control that to an extent. Part of the reason I have felt unattractive is because I have always been unfit and slightly out of shape despite my physique. To rectify that, been getting into working out for the last 6 months. I fell off last month but started training already this week and feel good about it. You will feel more confident in yourself if you feel confident about how you look. One way to do that is to work out, and try to find your own style in terms of dress, grooming etc. This is all shyt I never gave a fukk about till recently. My confidence still takes a battering, but I'm far more secure in myself now having done all of the above than I have been at any other point.
The things you tell yourself are the most important things you will hear. If you tell yourself continually that women will reject you, you won't be able to do the above things and you will perpetuate that fear. My advice is to start telling yourself a different story. Tell yourself that you aren't scared of women, and that you are a social and attractive person in your own right. Then work on becoming that person. Use therapy if you have to. Get a noticeboard and write down all the things you need to work on and pin it so you're reminded.
This is only loosely related, but I would also recommend having a creative hobby like music or art. This will give a lot of your pent up energy a channel and will also help you find other activities to do where you can potentially meet women.
Good luck man
how fat and ugly are you? Post yo pic so we can tell you how to fix yourself and get bytches
Are you gay??
