Just came back from a black feminist meeting

[Just like bruddas]

Feelings caught.

dont be upset breh, you just need to increase ya carb intake on back day for recovery and growth. No need to catch feelings

 

[Just like bruddas]

Shout out to the @TheStripper for explaining it in great detail and depth.

Fact that its coming from a woman should even make more sense.I made this thread so others can see the other side of the fence and just try to give some insight to how some black women feel. I think we let our personal experience with a few defeat the collective of unity between us. Think we need to need to let that stuff go and forgive each other.

 

[Marvel]

As I have already said there are varying degrees of feminism. But feminism itself is a very general term. Some feminist do believe that the only way to achieve equality is through the masculinization of the female. I personally do NOT agree with that. I am a feminist however I am not opposed to gender rolls as long as those rolls do not lessen the value of either party. However I do believe that women should be able to be educated, own property, have equal pay for doing the same job as men and should not be seen as the property of their husbands, fathers etc.

The world you see today is a result of the work of many feminist and civil rights workers. All of the things you mentioned were not always so. They were not just given out. That legislation was pasted b/c there was an overwhelming amount of sexism that was not allowing women to support themselves and/or families or have say so over their own bodies. So laws/implementations were/are put into place to give women a fighting chance.

It may seem to you like women have it made in the shade but I can assure you they are needed. Women in general are still no where as financially or socially successful as their male counter parts. And until that is no longer the case such laws are needed.

As far as the family, as you've said we are are different. B/c women are the ones who create children in our bodies and are usually charged with their care it is only right that any matters that are for the benefit of children would ultimately favor the a child's caregiver AKA usually women.

At the same time, feminism is not about taking away from males. It is about stopping the abuse (socially, physically, financially ) of women. Any woman who uses feminism to put down or demonize men is not a good or fair representation of feminism.

We can talk about all the obvious stuff that were past for women. I had a woman that was a director in my department that quit her six figure position to stay at home and raise her kids while her husband works his six figure job. That is not happening the other way around. This is the option that woman want. The ability to choose whether or not want they want to be a housewife or move up in the corporate world. So when discussing income and career opportunities you have to factor in that men are not afford the option NOT TO WORK. Other thing that I have noticed that when men work, they are WAY more likely to work overtime. Its rare for me to see a women work overtime in the corporate world. Women are not as money driven as well, they are more status driven. I have seen women in my corporate career move up to manager positions without building up their salary in their previous position, especially when some positions provide performance based incentives.

Black feminists complain about the lack of quality black men but they do not complain about the jobless rate among black men which is way higher than black women and you are coming in here talking about men are financially and socially more successful than women. What men are you talking about? If you are talking about white men, then you are on to something but if you are talking about black men, then you are damn wrong. You are equating the social and financial prowess of the white man with that of the black man. That is why black feminist are silly to me. That is the reason why white feminists do not want black feminists in their mists unless they are trying to use them to achieve their own agenda.

Again, what is the goal of black feminists?

 

[Just like bruddas]

We can talk about all the obvious stuff that were past for women. I had a woman that was a director in my department that quit her six figure position to stay at home and raise her kids while her husband works his six figure job. That is not happening the other way around. This is the option that woman want. The ability to choose whether or not want they want to be a housewife or move up in the corporate world. So when discussing income and career opportunities you have to factor in that men are not afford the option NOT TO WORK. Other thing that I have noticed that when men work, they are WAY more likely to work overtime. Its rare for me to see a women work overtime in the corporate world. Women are not as money driven as well, they are more status driven. I have seen women in my corporate career move up to manager positions without building up their salary in their previous position, especially when some positions provide performance based incentives.

Black feminists complain about the lack of quality black men but they do not complain about the jobless rate among black men which is way higher than black women and you are coming in here talking about men are financially and socially more successful than women. What men are you talking about? If you are talking about white men, then you are on to something but if you are talking about black men, then you are damn wrong. You are equating the social and financial prowess of the white man with that of the black man. That is why black feminist are silly to me. That is the reason why white feminists do not want black feminists in their mists unless they are trying to use them to achieve their own agenda.

Again, what is the goal of black feminists?

From they told me, their goal is just be heard and acknowledge. Not to be written off the way society does them aka welfare queen, baby mommas etc. Too have the back the full family household without the fear of losing us black men. This is what I heard from this one group, cant say that maybe the case for others.

Still I think its unity

 

[#1 pick]

i stop reading when i saw the part that black men is not around to protect them

talking about brothers killing themselves and going to jail..when majority of them come from single parents homes where there own naive mothers didnt protect them..

stop having kids wit losers and u wouldnt have a problem. black men are always the issue but not the person looking in the mirror

I am not a believer in the blame game. Without a community, how are these women suppose to know who is and isn't a good man. Ya'll need to stop thinking that women think like men. They don't know who is a good man because most of us don't broadcast what we are till after the fact and if they don't know, they will have a hard time trying to decrypt.

 

[#1 pick]

From they told me, their goal is just be heard and acknowledge. Not to be written off the way society does them aka welfare queen, baby mommas etc. Too have the back the full family household without the fear of losing us black men. This is what I heard from this one group, cant say that maybe the case for others.

Still I think its unity

That is fair, very fair. This is a culture issue that means Black women will have to get Black men on board to protest the industry including their favorite artists as well as ours as well as the labels. It will take humbling both sides. This is less of a challenge compared to the group economics but it can be hard because c00ns are more present than ever before.

 

[Just like bruddas]

That is fair, very fair. This is a culture issue that means Black women will have to get Black men on board to protest the industry including their favorite artists as well as ours as well as the labels. It will take humbling both sides. This is less of a challenge compared to the group economics but it can be hard because c00ns are more present than ever before.

I agree, think we need all hands on deck for this fight, the main reason why we are losing because you trying to win for both sides without having the other side present.

Time to come to other and fight the these issues together.

 

[#1 pick]

I agree, think we need all hands on deck for this fight, the main reason why we are losing because you trying to win for both sides without having the other side present.

Time to come to other and fight the these issues together.

Both sides have c00ns breh. We got guys on here blaming the women and you got women blaming the men. You can't do that but at the same time we have to acknowledge what is going on.

 

[Houston911]

I am not a believer in the blame game. Without a community, how are these women suppose to know who is and isn't a good man. Ya'll need to stop thinking that women think like men. They don't know who is a good man because most of us don't broadcast what we are till after the fact and if they don't know, they will have a hard time trying to decrypt.

lets not let them off that easy

 

[MooseMouthMthafuga]

The bolded is exactly why instead of feminist groups we need black community groups...with that group the women can have a sub group to discuss issues that they deal with but the idea of black feminism just sounds like divide and conquer. If black women and black men came together groups lie this would be more effective.

One of the main issues they brought up was that the black man was being taken out of the community which caused the imbalance (no fathers, no providers no protectors). So that alone should say that we need more emphasis on maintaining the family structure.

Who are all the people contributing to breaking up the family home...attention needs to be placed on them also, not just the black man or black woman.

I absolutely love this post


The system supports this odd dichotomy because they know we'll never get anywhere divided.

Look at how the welfare program started.

"You got a man in the house? well, you can't get no check"


That type of shyt created the wedge.Should've been about helping to build strong family units.Not "strong" single mother households.

Now they have us splintered and scattered abroad.Even amongst immediate family.As a collective, we're a chain with no links

 

[Marvel]

From they told me, their goal is just be heard and acknowledge. Not to be written off the way society does them aka welfare queen, baby mommas etc. Too have the back the full family household without the fear of losing us black men. This is what I heard from this one group, cant say that maybe the case for others.

Still I think its unity

The majority of black women fall into one of those two categories because black men are cast off by the society. Destroy the man, destroy the family. If they are so concerned about losing black men, they need to be more concerned about trying to build him up rather than tear him down. That meeting you went to was spin doctored because you happened to show up. If you were not there it would have been a black male bashing fest. Stop trying to act like the women are Shahrazad Ali disciples. Its not a good look breh.

spin doctor
noun
: a person (such as a political aide) whose job involves trying to control the way something (such as an important event) is described to the public in order to influence what people think about it

 

[PartyHeart]

I very much appreciate you for your willingness to listen to the issues of Black feminists @Willstyles . While I don't really believe the issues those women talked about in that meeting represent what Black feminism is about entirely, the mere ability to just empathize with what your female counterparts go through is an absolute NECESSITY for Black men and women to every come out of this rift we are experiencing. It sound simple enough (I mean, what type of human can't empathize with the hardship of another?) but just look at the angry replies you got in this thread from some of the Black men on the coli. Even empathy is challenging for this lot, so you see we have a long way to go because if you can't even empathize you won't even feel compelled to try to understand. And I fully believe this so-called gender war will never end until that empathy materializes en masse on Black men's end.

To move it away from the coli (because if Black men were truly like this outside of the internet we'd be doomed), Black men who are truly activists that I know in real life are heavily in favor of Black feminism and after doing their own research know it is none of the things Black chauvinists try to paint it as. It has and never will be about waging war with Black men or being placed in a position of advantage or superiority over them. It is about equality period. People who have lived in the skin of those from a disadvantaged group rarely ever seek anything more than to simply not be penalized for being born (the way people are for being born Black, the way women are for being born women).

 

[Nintendough]

Of course. I am always up for respectful dialogue.

Just a few...


1. Do feminists think it is sexist for a man to value a woman for her attractiveness before he gets to know her and love her as a person.


2. Why do some feminists hate pornography but other feminists claim that female pornstars are controlling their sexuality?


3. Do feminists really think it is 100 Percent possible for men to be completely equal when clearly men and women have certain abilities and skills that they are more superior than the other in?

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

We can talk about all the obvious stuff that were past for women. I had a woman that was a director in my department that quit her six figure position to stay at home and raise her kids while her husband works his six figure job. That is not happening the other way around. This is the option that woman want. The ability to choose whether or not want they want to be a housewife or move up in the corporate world. So when discussing income and career opportunities you have to factor in that men are not afford the option NOT TO WORK. Other thing that I have noticed that when men work, they are WAY more likely to work overtime. Its rare for me to see a women work overtime in the corporate world. Women are not as money driven as well, they are more status driven. I have seen women in my corporate career move up to manager positions without building up their salary in their previous position, especially when some positions provide performance based incentives.

Black feminists complain about the lack of quality black men but they do not complain about the jobless rate among black men which is way higher than black women and you are coming in here talking about men are financially and socially more successful than women. What men are you talking about? If you are talking about white men, then you are on to something but if you are talking about black men, then you are damn wrong. You are equating the social and financial prowess of the white man with that of the black man. That is why black feminist are silly to me. That is the reason why white feminists do not want black feminists in their mists unless they are trying to use them to achieve their own agenda.

Again, what is the goal of black feminists?

First, yes men are victims of sexism too. I agree there are imbalances on each end of the scale. However, feminist who actively work for social change are doing so on the behalf of women. It is not their job to fix every one of society's issues. There are women (and men) who take advantage of the current system however that still does not negate the still obvious inequality.

I was obviously talking about feminism in general which is why I posted the general definition and also posted that there are different kinds of feminist.

As far as Black feminism...you seem to equate it with Black women vs Black men which is so far off base. The goal of BF is to address many of the issues that WF address but from a perceptive that also includes racism. Meaning that BF are fighting "the White man." A separate movement was needed because like you said WF do not want to address the issues concerning Black women. So yes Black Feminist are going to address the sexism in their community, obviously. However fighting the systematic oppression is the ultimate goal.

Again anyone who uses feminism of any kind of a platform to bash men is not a good or fair representation of what feminism is about.

 

[MR. SNIFLES]

well the issue is that most black men start off so far behind the 8 ball that they are very rarely good from the jump...as a black man you have to learn how to be "good"...you have to want to be "good"...you have to dedicate yourself to being "good"...and the problem with black women is that they don't really want to have you around while you are going through this process...

When a black man is washing the dishes...a black women won't want anything to do with him...girl please...this nikka wash dishes for a living...
But when that black man is washing dishes he has that moment when he realizes...damn i am 22 and washing dishes i got to get my shyt together


Then he move from washing dishes to waiting tables...but a black woman won't want anything to do with him...girl please...this nikka wait tables for a living ...girl lets scrape all this food on one plate to help this nikka out
But when that black man is waiting tables he realizes that a few months ago he was washing dishes...and well slow motion is better than no motion

Then he move from waiting tables to cooking...but no black woman will want anything to do with him...girl please this nikka a cook...this nikka back here in all that grease all day...nikka go home every night smelling like crisco...
But when that black man is cooking...well now he been there awhile...now people who been there know him as the guy who went from washing to cooking...and now that black man is seeing the in and outs of the business...and he is thinking ...you know i could add a lil spice here...try this...try that...get a little creative...


Then he move from cooking to bartending...and now that black woman might not want him...but now she kinda interested... now he on her radar...now she see him out here mixing drinks and flirting with chicks and they tipping him 10 dollars and damn who is this white dude in a suit he seems to be all buddy buddy with......damn it's 3 a.m and i am still here...damn is he taking that entire tip jar home...damn i see some 20's in that jar
And now that black man is right there on the precipice...cause he has washed dishes...busted tables...served food...and cooked food...and been a bartender...and you know what...it took 3 years but damn everybody know this guy...people who have been coming here know him by name...when he says he used to be a cook people say "so that was YOUR eggplant paremesean

And then...they got a management gig open up...a new place opening up...and who do they ask...that black man of course...because he has seen every ounce of this place and knows it in and out
And now this nikka got a suit...now you look at the restaurant owned by or property managed by or team management manager is...this nikka...

And now all these black women are like ...girl that is a good man...girl he OWNS something...girl look at him in that suit i bet he got a big dikk...girl he worked his way up the right way...girl that is a gawd damn good man right there you think he single...

But...what those black women don't realize is that he was a good man when he was just washing dishes...

And well you didn't want him then...and now...well now he owns something and he doesn't really have time for you...he doesn't have any emotional attachment to you, black woman, because when he first became a good man washing that sticky ass alfredo off them plates...he looked around and didn't see you...black woman......you were to busy bashing him for washing dishes and being a 20 year old still living at home and having no ambition remember...

You don't want a good black man who is a good black man...you want a regular black man who is making the transition to a good black man...cause that transition is a very real struggle...and when he makes it that black man will always look back and remember the people around him in that struggle...or the lack of people...black woman...

IF YOU'RE 22 AND DON'T HAVE ANYTHING GOING FOR YOU I DON'T SEE HOW YOU CAN BE MAD THAT A WOMAN DOESN'T WANT YOU IN YOUR MESSY STATE. THE JOB ITSELF IS NOT THE DETERMINING FACTOR. YOU NEED TO SHOW THAT YOU'RE GOING SOMEWHERE. A WOMAN THAT SEES YOU ONE TIME ON YOUR JOB ONLY HAS 1 SNAPSHOT OF YOU. THAT'S WORKING THE KITCHEN. YOU DON'T HAVE A CHANCE TO SHOW YOUR WORTH.

THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T MEET WOMEN IN PLACES WHERE YOU EXPECT TO SEE THEM ONE TIME. FINDING A WOMAN IN A BAR OR CLUB IS THE WORST. YOU HAVE 1 CHANCE TO SHOW N PROVE AND THAT'S IT. THE ONLY WAY A WOMAN CAN SEE YOUR WORTH AT THAT POINT IS THROUGH WHAT YOU HAVE AT THAT POINT. THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE ALL THESE nikkaS IN CLUBS WITH FAKE shyt ON TRYING TO BE FLASHY TO GET ATTENTION. YOU WANT TO FIND A WOMAN IN A PLACE WHERE YOU WILL SEE HER REGULARLY AND SHE CAN SEE YOUR PROGRESS. MAKE YOURSELF SEEN BUT NOT FLASHY. TALK TO HER. SHOW HER WHERE YOUR MIND IS AND THEN SPIT GAME. IF SHE DOWN WITH THE PLAN SHE WILL LET YOU KNOW. HALF YALL nikkaS AIN'T EVEN GOT A PLAN. IF YOU DON'T HAVE 3 POTENTIAL PLANS AT LEAST YOU CAN'T BE IN THIS THREAD TALKING ABOUT ANYTHING. THIS IS FOR GROWN PEOPLE.