Yes, thats right brehs. I was kicking it with my sistas tonight in hopes of learning more about the unspoken war that black women have to deal with. Turns out it wasnt a war, it was more about unspoken depression that they feel from society. I was there just listening for like maybe 2 hours. I took in a lot of stuff from them, to a point now that I had to leave my feelings at the door to fully grasp their struggle with depression, abandonment. raped and most importantly...being misunderstood.
First off, their struggles are completely different from white femisin. While they have been accepted to some type of degree to society black women havent. I mean black women are targeted the most by serial killers due to the lack of acknowledgement they get on television. But they know thats not gonna happen so thats not their main goal. Their main goal is to recognize by black men and other black women. Being so quick to be written off about feelings and struggles as being bitter and non submissive they tend to keep it to themselves, until it bust out into the scene. When that happens we black men tend to walk away from it. With good reason I mean who wanna hear that shyt right? Wrong...I think if we just listen to them more and see if its something we can do, their feelings wont explode into a rage...but into sadness and relief.
No this meeting wasnt about fukk black men group, these women love us to death and we wouldnt dream about leaving us for other races. But as one sista put where can they go too, most interracial relationships are geared towards black men. White men dont really care for black women the way that they want to be cared for. Then came the question of " well who do "? This one thing this sista said kinda touched a nerve, but it was true. She said " Its not that Im mad at black men, Im heart broken at not being protected by them " Black men are being killed everyday in these streets by each other, by police and by themselves. Theyre being locked up faster than we can hug them. With them gone, who is here to protect us?
Which raises the question, have we really abandon our women? Not on purpose of course, but she's right, for every man that's taken away from this life or society leaves a woman without her man Has society conditioned us black men to think all black women should look like video models with light skin and straight hair and should fukk us whenever we kick out money? Which raises questions about the whole independent women movement. As another sista said, that concept has been exploited and turned into something that has nothing to do with their struggles. It went from black women doing for themselves since their men were taken away, either killed, locked up or just got up and left. It wasnt meant to be that they dont need a man or that they dont want one. It was a defense mechanism to cope with being abandon. Todays young black women are working with a different version of that movement aka the destiny child babies in order to counter act the money over bytches movement. Not my words folks, but hers.
I questioned their choices in men, a bunch of them questioned it too. Their conclusion was the as mine. Can't expect a women to learn what a real man is when she never had one in her life. They also questioned our choice in women. I tried to break it down to her the best way I can. None of us want virgins, all of us wanna fukk on the first date and sometimes we dont think about the women we fukk. Then she told me to imagine the pressure of being under those standards. Thinking that if you dont give yourself to this man he will leave, you wont find another since not a lot men wants to be virgins. Society pressure for a woman to have a man and have a family by a certain age. So you do it and he leaves, then what? Just for like a man to have sex with a woman and get her pregnant just to get done dirty with child support and make your life a living hell is the same for us women that have sex with no good men, get pregnant just to be abandon. We are not that all different, besides us going through morning sickness and carrying a child's life thats life maybe cut in half. Most black men dont bury their kids, the mothers do.
Its was more stuff that was discussed, but it wasnt like anything I could imagine. Here Im thinking it was gonna be like LSA but in IRL. Instead it was just a bunch of black women just expressing how they feel and how they want to be heard, some perm, some natural, light skin, dark skin, big, skinny. Working, Not working, kids, not kids, single, taken. Regardless of the background these women just want to be loved and respected by those who they feel has been conditioned not to love them or not to show emotion. Think these women learned how to leaving their feelings at the door and learned to forgive us. I plan on going to these meetings every now and then to document stuff and maybe to speak with these women one on one.
It was a sad yet refreshing experience, but Im happy I went to show these women that black men do care about their feelings.
i love you broke wave
or either most of the women I been around did a good job not taking it out on me...maybe i didnt give a fukk until now. But fukk it I take responsible for being ignorant of these facts. So now what?
I give up