Ladies, why do you expect a $200 dinner for a first date?

[Conan]

Few points.

1. Treating dating as a zero sum game must be so exhausting. It's like there's race to the bottom between the sexes to determine who can get the most out of a dating interaction while providing the bare fukking minimum. I'm out the game now but I remember when I was in it... whether it was relationships or situationships or flings... It becomes much easier for your sanity when you not overly worried about "oh is she tryna make me Mr. Food in her phone?", or trying to figure out how to get her to come out the panties off rip while staying under $50 spend

2. I don't know your pockets. If the prospect of $200 doesn't make sense for your financial situation, you did the right thing to dead it, no need to stretch yourself over uncertain p*ssy. If your concern was that she was tryna use you, you fukked up IMO:

- She's a nurse... She's probably used to good stuff. If you trying to bring her out for a few hours, Applebee's ain't gonna cut it. And neither is a visit to the museum. You reached out to her, remember that
- Good dates and nights out are more expensive today (thanks Biden). A $150-$200 bill at the end of a good night isn't unnatural.
- Look, it's real easy to determine within the first 10 minutes of sitting down what her energy is. If she's trying to run up the bill on you, or you not feeling her energy, or whatever, ask the waiter to split the check end of the dinner. She'll probably never hit you up again but you got a brand new spot you can bring more sensible women too, plus you had a good time with the drinks too.
- You closed the door on the possibility that the dinner at this place, the conversation, the vibe... Everything would be fire and you would fast track towards the p*ssy. Depends on the mutual attraction and all... So it's not a given, but you just turned her off with that completely.

3. Next time lead with what you want off bat. If you want to hang out for an hour and get coffee lead with it. That allows her to decide whether it's worth her time to hang with you for an hour with some caffeine. Whatever it is, be specific. "We'll see how the night goes" is a terrible line. Have fun around what you set in stone, and if the vibe suggests more can happen then go with the flow. But saying the plans are uncertain from the start makes you look like a buster who trying to bring her back to your bed.

4. You can always invite her out to what you're doing, that's another option.

In general, look to have a good time. The p*ssy comes easier when unforced. My 2 cents.

 

[The ADD]

Few points.

1. Treating dating as a zero sum game must be so exhausting. It's like there's race to the bottom between the sexes to determine who can get the most out of a dating interaction while providing the bare fukking minimum. I'm out the game now but I remember when I was in it... whether it was relationships or situationships or flings... It becomes much easier for your sanity when you not overly worried about "oh is she tryna make me Mr. Food in her phone?", or trying to figure out how to get her to come out the panties off rip while staying under $50 spend

2. I don't know your pockets. If the prospect of $200 doesn't make sense for your financial situation, you did the right thing to dead it, no need to stretch yourself over uncertain p*ssy. If your concern was that she was tryna use you, you fukked up IMO:

- She's a nurse... She's probably used to good stuff. If you trying to bring her out for a few hours, Applebee's ain't gonna cut it. And neither is a visit to the museum. You reached out to her, remember that
- Good dates and nights out are more expensive today (thanks Biden). A $150-$200 bill at the end of a good night isn't unnatural.
- Look, it's real easy to determine within the first 10 minutes of sitting down what her energy is. If she's trying to run up the bill on you, or you not feeling her energy, or whatever, ask the waiter to split the check end of the dinner. She'll probably never hit you up again but you got a brand new spot you can bring more sensible women too, plus you had a good time with the drinks too.
- You closed the door on the possibility that the dinner at this place, the conversation, the vibe... Everything would be fire and you would fast track towards the p*ssy. Depends on the mutual attraction and all... So it's not a given, but you just turned her off with that completely.

3. Next time lead with what you want off bat. If you want to hang out for an hour and get coffee lead with it. That allows her to decide whether it's worth her time to hang with you for an hour with some caffeine. Whatever it is, be specific. "We'll see how the night goes" is a terrible line. Have fun around what you set in stone, and if the vibe suggests more can happen then go with the flow. But saying the plans are uncertain from the start makes you look like a buster who trying to bring her back to your bed.

4. You can always invite her out to what you're doing, that's another option.

In general, look to have a good time. The p*ssy comes easier when unforced. My 2 cents.

Lost art these days

 

[maxamusa]

Its an Italian joint where Mac n cheese is on the menu

 

[get these nets]

I got this chicks number off hinge, never met her don't even know her last name. She tells me she's free tomorrow at 7 and she really likes this Italian place. So I google the place and look at the menu. It's $60 for a mac and cheese entree, yea I bet your ass likes this place. I told her lets just meet up for apps and drinks for the first date. if everything goes well we have plenty of time to get fancy. She left me on read and then unmatched me.

Now she is a nurse so maybe she is used to spending her own money. But where does she get the audacity to ask this of a man for a first date? Does this mean other guys have done it? Was she testing me? I didn't even want to meet up with her after that to be honest.

I wanna know why yall think you are entitled to this on the first date? I wasn't gonna take her to applebees but I am also not spending $200 plus drinks on a bytch I don't even know her last name.

You wanted the Waldorf Astoria, instead I took you to Cedric's.

But, seriously. If people are meeting through apps and sites, they know very little about each other. Some of the words and actions in the beginning are a weeding out process. Giving each other "tests". She failed yours and you failed hers. And you avoided wasting each other's time. It's a win.

 

[NobodyReally]

I would be suspicious of someone spending that much on a first date, and very uncomfortable. Obviously if they are a high earner and spend like that regularly it would be a non-issue, but there's no way to know that on a first date, so yeah I think I would make a self-deprecating joke about it being too fancy for me, and suggest something more normal. His response to that would give me more information about his mindset and rationale for choosing the spot.

 

[stepbackj34spud]

It's not the money. It's the fact she didn't see you as a meal ticket, and wasn't above paying if you forgot your wallet, or even walking out in you. If she's willing to show that kind of loyalty out the gate, she might be someone to build with. It's about intent.

You completely disregarded what i said. Covering a meal and outting for two is something any female adult should be able to do. It’s not any kind of test or metric thats proves she’s wife material or not.

Gillie sounded dumb, you sound equally dumb for listening to that stupid nikka.

 

[re'up]

Few points.

1. Treating dating as a zero sum game must be so exhausting. It's like there's race to the bottom between the sexes to determine who can get the most out of a dating interaction while providing the bare fukking minimum. I'm out the game now but I remember when I was in it... whether it was relationships or situationships or flings... It becomes much easier for your sanity when you not overly worried about "oh is she tryna make me Mr. Food in her phone?", or trying to figure out how to get her to come out the panties off rip

This is a more modern phenomenon and the most corrosive trend, to me. But, a simple one to reverse. Just cut your expectations down to almost nothing. Be more open to just the experience, and not this narrow, rigid algebraic equation. I'm pretty generous and don't think about spending $100 or 200, because I am invested in the experience. A dope spot, a good convo, being with someone attractive, feeling that sexual tension developing.

I remember in 2017 went out with some girl I really liked, we met a few days before, and she had excellent taste, we went to some high high end spot that we both wanted to go to, I probably had that $300 back in my pocket by the next night, but I have my memories of that date forever.

 

[re'up]

also, is food even something you connect on? or it just some transactional kind of thing? That's a big part for me. If they are into food, it's a mutually enjoyable experience, not just me buying dinner.

 

[Formerly Black Trash]

anyone who expects that ain’t for me

All the best food spots don’t cost that much

 

[T-K-G]

This is a more modern phenomenon and the most corrosive trend, to me. But, a simple one to reverse. Just cut your expectations down to almost nothing. Be more open to just the experience, and not this narrow, rigid algebraic equation. I'm pretty generous and don't think about spending $100 or 200, because I am invested in the experience. A dope spot, a good convo, being with someone attractive, feeling that sexual tension developing.

I remember in 2017 went out with some girl I really liked, we met a few days before, and she had excellent taste, we went to some high high end spot that we both wanted to go to, I probably had that $300 back in my pocket by the next night, but I have my memories of that date forever.

Nothing about that requires hundreds of dollars on the first night out breh, like, at all.

What is there to experience when it's obvious you're just being used for a meal? That's the conversation in this thread, you just ignore it because you need the experience/company of an attractive person?

I'm not a foodie so a dinner date will always be the lamest situation, excuse me if it sound like I'm tryna shyt on your position, it's just such an easily exploitable situation that a LOT of women default to because they don't have hobbies

Just because I have the money to do it doesn't mean that's the route to go, imo the amount of money that needs to be spent on the environment directly correlates with how interesting you are to be around, the more boring you are, the more you have to invest, vice versa. If I'm breaking 3-4 figures, it had better be something I would've been interested in doing by myself anyway.


Last date I went on we hit up a fabric store and a couple thrift spots then took em over to my homies workshop, drank wine and practiced sewing together tote bags while shooting the shyt, didn't spend more than $50. Completely failed making the bags but had infinitely more fun than just eating a dinner and chatting

 

[RhodyRum]

They just fans like De Niro, and Wesley

You already know.

 

[re'up]

As far as sex.....there's so much weird unspoken structural stuff going on with that. Obviously, people are pretty vocal on social media, but two adults can struggle to have that convo. So much depends on rituals and gestures, and again, unspoken kind of signaling. LIke we go on ____ amount of dates, and then you will come back to my place.

I try to have those harder convos like what are out mutual expectations here, and what are YOUR desires? And so on that, i try to have no expectations, we can chill at my spot, I can go to yours, I'm not expecting sex because I paid for dinners. I don't even want it like that. I want it off

it's a very weird thing based on decades of rituals and gender roles.

 

[The ADD]

This is a more modern phenomenon and the most corrosive trend, to me. But, a simple one to reverse. Just cut your expectations down to almost nothing. Be more open to just the experience, and not this narrow, rigid algebraic equation. I'm pretty generous and don't think about spending $100 or 200, because I am invested in the experience. A dope spot, a good convo, being with someone attractive, feeling that sexual tension developing.

I remember in 2017 went out with some girl I really liked, we met a few days before, and she had excellent taste, we went to some high high end spot that we both wanted to go to, I probably had that $300 back in my pocket by the next night, but I have my memories of that date forever.

Let’s be reality a large segment of people aren’t looking for that. Thus it becomes all transactional.

 

[re'up]

Nothing about that requires hundreds of dollars on the first night out breh, like, at all.

What is there to experience when it's obvious you're just being used for a meal? That's the conversation in this thread, you just ignore it because you need the experience/company of an attractive person?

I'm not a foodie so a dinner date will always be the lamest situation, excuse me if it sound like I'm tryna shyt on your position, it's just such an easily exploitable situation that a LOT of women default to because they don't have hobbies

Just because I have the money to do it doesn't mean that's the route to go, imo the amount of money that needs to be spent on the environment directly correlates with how interesting you are to be around, the more boring you are, the more you have to invest, vice versa. If I'm breaking 3-4 figures, it had better be something I would've been interested in doing by myself anyway.


Last date I went on we hit up a fabric store and a couple thrift spots then took em over to my homies workshop, drank wine and practiced sewing together tote bags while shooting the shyt, didn't spend more than $50. Completely failed making the bags but had infinitely more fun than just eating a dinner and chatting

I am a foodie, even if that word makes it sound a little too p*ssy.....so I'm having fun if I am at a dope spot, with someone attractive, eating something interesting or unique or just good. And yeah, I would be there by myself anyway, luxury places, expensive spots, that's all speaking to me anyway. I was just at Funke in Beverly Hills solo like a week ago.

but, yeah, I followed up that comment saying do you even connect on food? If not, not a great date choice. I will also say I have never felt like someone used me for a meal. I think sometimes I used them, more so, like the expensive date didn't equal me being serious, it just matched my lifestyle.

 

[feelosofer]

Naw. She was trying to finesse you. There are lots of very restaurants you could eat at that wouldn't cost nearly as much. There is a middle between Ruth Chris and McDonalds