NobodyReally
Superstar
Women are most at risk when they leave an abysmal relationship. It's not like the guys starts beating you the first date or first month of dating.
Let's Discuss Violence Against Black Women
- Thread starter bcrusaderw
- Start date
Women are most at risk when they leave an abysmal relationship. It's not like the guys starts beating you the first date or first month of dating.
If I gotta beat cha, then I dont need ya
- Soulja Slim
I think that black women in abusive relationships need to seek and be receptive to counseling, get with a social worker to learn about assistance programs to get on the right path towards independence and rehabiltation.
I say rehab because that black woman wants and deserves to be loved,the problem is that without it that said woman is suseptible to either bringing baggage and hate towards the next man she dates or even worse, end up with a new guy that has the same abusive qualities as the last guy she was with.
When leaving an abusive relationship, and you fear retaliation from the abusor, please call someone preferably the COPS descretly, you pay taxes make them earn their check...you take whats yours and KIM.
Ultimately it's up to those women to say that enough is enough
As a black man, I cant tell you sisters what needs to have to be done to reverse these numbers but I cansay is that I personally try to make make my family aware.
Be safe out there.
- Soulja Slim
I think that black women in abusive relationships need to seek and be receptive to counseling, get with a social worker to learn about assistance programs to get on the right path towards independence and rehabiltation.
I say rehab because that black woman wants and deserves to be loved,the problem is that without it that said woman is suseptible to either bringing baggage and hate towards the next man she dates or even worse, end up with a new guy that has the same abusive qualities as the last guy she was with.
When leaving an abusive relationship, and you fear retaliation from the abusor, please call someone preferably the COPS descretly, you pay taxes make them earn their check...you take whats yours and KIM.
Ultimately it's up to those women to say that enough is enough
As a black man, I cant tell you sisters what needs to have to be done to reverse these numbers but I cansay is that I personally try to make make my family aware.
Be safe out there.
wet landscapes
ghost
sometimes when you're in a fukked up situation, the gradual shift from normal to bad slowly molds your perceptionIf I gotta beat cha, then I dont need ya
- Soulja Slim
I think that black women in abusive relationships need to seek and be receptive to counseling, get with a social worker to learn about assistance programs to get on the right path towards independence and rehabiltation.
I say rehab because that black woman wants and deserves to be loved,the problem is that without it that said woman is suseptible to either bringing baggage and hate towards the next man she dates or even worse, end up with a new guy that has the same abusive qualities as the last guy she was with.
When leaving an abusive relationship, and you fear retaliation from the abusor, please call someone preferably the COPS descretly, you pay taxes make them earn their check...you take whats yours and KIM.
Ultimately it's up to those women to say that enough is enough
As a black man, I cant tell you sisters what needs to have to be done to reverse these numbers but I cansay is that I personally try to make make my family aware.
Be safe out there.
I can fully understand how someone would think that it's just something that happened, or decide to put their effort into making sure they never push their SO to that point again and moving on with the relationship
how would they get that there is no moving on, that their partner is a person capable of abuse and it will keep happening? We have these Lifetime movie images of abusers as being these cold, irrational people who give them nothing but pain, but it's not like that for real
those people had a whole relationship
they had a connection as (usually) a man and a woman and really cared for each other
and then their partner brutalizes them
and that partner may still even give out affection and companionship after they've done it
not saying anything you were saying was bad or wrong, I just think people are not good at removing themselves from a situation when there is something they want
I think the most effective method would be intervention imo, like with addiction
sometimes when you're in a fukked up situation, the gradual shift from normal to bad slowly molds your perception
I can fully understand how someone would think that it's just something that happened, or decide to put their effort into making sure they never push their SO to that point again and moving on with the relationship
how would they get that there is no moving on, that their partner is a person capable of abuse and it will keep happening? We have these Lifetime movie images of abusers as being these cold, irrational people who give them nothing but pain, but it's not like that for real
those people had a whole relationship
they had a connection as (usually) a man and a woman and really cared for each other
and then their partner brutalizes them
and that partner may still even give out affection and companionship after they've done it
not saying anything you were saying was bad or wrong, I just think people are not good at removing themselves from a situation when there is something they want
I think the most effective method would be intervention imo, like with addiction
I feel you on that, I think that's why Im kinda in line @7Revo 's suggestion of black folks keeping tighter family bonds...even tho family can be some of the nosiest, messy, rumor spreading mofos...theyre usually the first to notice something ain't right or quick to detect BS. Sometimes you need that person on the outside looking in to tell you something ain't right.
wet landscapes
ghost
Doesn't seem like many people want to discuss it, including the "black" women of The Salon 
CriticalThought
All Star
How many of y'all are getting guns, tasers or mace (if lawful) or self-defense classes? I know that doesn't stop all or deter it from happening, but how many of y'all are taking every precaution you can?
I'm not saying this to be divisive but we know why you have to look out for yourself. I don't think lack of replies equates to apathy, part of it is shame or feeling powerless that it goes on. Violence towards black women is often times swept under the rug or marginalized.
Replace "mother, daughter, sister, cousin and etc." with "black woman you don't know" and it seems to elicit a different response. It shouldn't be that way but it seems like that's the norm. I saw one statistic that 64,000 black women have gone "missing" since 2010. I have a family member who's friend's daughter was abducted years ago. Gone without a trace. That could happen to any of us out there. Stuff like that worries me.
It's a complex issue (like most affecting us). Crime, poverty, broken homes, learned behavior, failed communities, toxic relationships, and a plethora of other issues could be at play. But at the end of the day someone made a conscious decision to assault someone and it never should have gotten to that point. This type of violence needs to end.
I'm not saying this to be divisive but we know why you have to look out for yourself. I don't think lack of replies equates to apathy, part of it is shame or feeling powerless that it goes on. Violence towards black women is often times swept under the rug or marginalized.
Replace "mother, daughter, sister, cousin and etc." with "black woman you don't know" and it seems to elicit a different response. It shouldn't be that way but it seems like that's the norm. I saw one statistic that 64,000 black women have gone "missing" since 2010. I have a family member who's friend's daughter was abducted years ago. Gone without a trace. That could happen to any of us out there. Stuff like that worries me.
It's a complex issue (like most affecting us). Crime, poverty, broken homes, learned behavior, failed communities, toxic relationships, and a plethora of other issues could be at play. But at the end of the day someone made a conscious decision to assault someone and it never should have gotten to that point. This type of violence needs to end.
wet landscapes
ghost
I feel like talking to kids about it early on would help but then you feel bad about treating young kids like future monsters that you have to stop before it's too late
I wonder what's going on in a guys head when he hits his girlfriend or wife.
I wonder what's going on in a guys head when he hits his girlfriend or wife.
Elle Driver
Veteran
These conversations are never fruitful or helpful.
PlainSight
Anon
havoc
Superstar
I was never aware of the high rate of domestic violence in our community. We don't shed enough light on domestic violence. It usually sweep under the rug, while other pathologies that are persistent such as police brutality, racism, poverty, and out-of-wedlock birth becomes the focal point of our daily discussion. The stats on domestic abuse is an embarrassing.
stop cavorting with aggressive negros
I feel people don't look at underlying issues that some women have that find themselves in these positions. I honestly feel black women are the least protected. We are expected to be strong and take everything. Even in situations of abuse I feel some of us, still try to be strong and handle it ourselves.
Lack of examples of healthy relationships and what love really is. Looking for love they don't receive or think they are receiving. I have seen that even when their is a father present but its more rare in those cases. They aren't taught to love themselves or think they deserve better. Some women don't think they can be alone. Then there is no support system, especially when there are generations of no positive male figures in their life.
Another very important factor I haven't seen is the economic factor. Abuse is more prevalent in impoverished areas that also plays a role in what I mentioned above. Poverty or the hood doesn't = everything negative but it is more likely in those circumstances.
Like other problems in our community, it has to be fixed at a community level. Support systems, programs for young men and women to educate them and show them what love and self love is. So even if you come from a bad situation you have some examples. You wouldn't know how long some people go in some areas and never hear anything positive. There are already programs like that but we need more
Some of these men have no examples themselves and are trying to be a man in a system designed to emasculate them. Not excusing behavior at all. I am just looking at all the causes.
Anyone saying choose better without holding the men accountable is trash. That's another problem, people it use to be people didn't respect men like that. But now people look the other way. A lot of negative behaviors we as a community have allowed to flourish unchecked. It is a break down.
Lack of examples of healthy relationships and what love really is. Looking for love they don't receive or think they are receiving. I have seen that even when their is a father present but its more rare in those cases. They aren't taught to love themselves or think they deserve better. Some women don't think they can be alone. Then there is no support system, especially when there are generations of no positive male figures in their life.
Another very important factor I haven't seen is the economic factor. Abuse is more prevalent in impoverished areas that also plays a role in what I mentioned above. Poverty or the hood doesn't = everything negative but it is more likely in those circumstances.
Like other problems in our community, it has to be fixed at a community level. Support systems, programs for young men and women to educate them and show them what love and self love is. So even if you come from a bad situation you have some examples. You wouldn't know how long some people go in some areas and never hear anything positive. There are already programs like that but we need more
Some of these men have no examples themselves and are trying to be a man in a system designed to emasculate them. Not excusing behavior at all. I am just looking at all the causes.Anyone saying choose better without holding the men accountable is trash. That's another problem, people it use to be people didn't respect men like that. But now people look the other way. A lot of negative behaviors we as a community have allowed to flourish unchecked. It is a break down.
