Let's have the discussion about how we raise/ interact with our kids

[Be Strong Blackman]

Good thread

 

[Fani Willis fan]

this generation of kids dont stand a chance

 

[BmoreGorilla]

I feel like your kids should fear you. Not literally be scared of you but have a healthy fear of what will happen when they do what they’re not supposed to. You want to have a friendship with your kids but at the same time you don’t want them to view you as a friend. There’s a very thin line

 

[I AM WE ARE]

Social media And these stupid games have ruined these kids
Not to mention the people in control are soft as baby poo and tolerate everything

 

[Be Strong Blackman]

I feel like your kids should fear you. Not literally be scared of you but have a healthy fear of what will happen when they do what they’re not supposed to. You want to have a friendship with your kids but at the same time, you don’t want them to view you as a friend. There’s a very thin line

Right. I think another way of putting it is to have boundaries. There are boundaries between teacher and student, coach and player, boss and employee, child and parent. That fear/respect is healthy in a way...I believe

Be a Great example for kids. They follow more of what you do than what you usually say.
I like to loosely follow this.

from ages 0-8 you focus on playing with them
9-16 focus more on discipline
17-21 you be their friend
from 21 to the grave you advise them.

 

[get these nets]

There's countless threads and comments get made but no solution just finger pointing. I can only speak from my point of view. I love my kids, no I'm not their friend And there's a natural fear And respect there. Not fear of me hurting them but they know if they do something wrong there's consequences. I don't spank/ beat my kids but they do get disciplined. Either thru exercise or other forms of punishment. I think the issue is that children now days don't respect their parents the same way we did growing up. They don't stay in a child's place. I've cut off women that have disrespectful kids or do/ sat that"my 10,11,12, etc yr old son is my king And he'sma'n of the house" shyt. Posters have said there's issues so let's discuss And come to a resolution.

Unfortunately, those of us with traditional values are becoming a minority. You were raised by your family and community to respect adults/authority. You are passing that along to the next generation of your family.
That's all any of us can do. Can't raise everybody else's children under our roof.
All the big brother programs, rite of passage programs, mentoring programs help, but they will never replace a solid traditional household.

 

[Dr. Acula]

Just a random thought on this subject. Its related but kind of a random thought.

A lot of issues with black kids are underlying mental health and emotional distress issues. We don't appreciate that enough I believe. I have a cousin who has some issues and I had some issues as a young kid myself. The acting out and behavioral issues are a reaction to emotional distress. I know this is the case for my cousin who has a dysfunctional ass household.

This is why I personally was really annoyed when someone shared that white teacher at black school experience thread the other day. Because, if a white kid had issues in school they are going to send that kid to a school counselor and try to get to the bottom of their emotional issues and try to figure out why they are acting out. Black kids on the other hand are believed to be inherently bad and the same considerations are never in play when it comes how to handle black children.

A lot of black folks have the equivalent of PTSD and other mental health issues that never get the attention they deserve. To keep this more on topic, ensuring a healthy environment for your children is the best thing you can do. To tie it to my previous post, whooping your kid's ass for minor shyt is going to lead to emotional and mental issues.

 

[Be Strong Blackman]

Just a random thought on this subject. Its related but kind of a random thought.

A lot of issues with black kids are underlying mental health and emotional distress issues. We don't appreciate that enough I believe. I have a cousin who has some issues and I had some issues as a young kid myself. The acting out and behavioral issues are a reaction to emotional distress. I know this is the case for my cousin who has a dysfunctional ass household.

This is why I personally was really annoyed when someone shared that white teacher at black school experience thread the other day. Because, if a white kid had issues in school they are going to send that kid to a school counselor and try to get to the bottom of their emotional issues and try to figure out why they are acting out. Black kids on the other hand are believed to be inherently bad and the same considerations are never in play when it comes how to handle black children.

A lot of black folks have the equivalent of PTSD and other mental health issues that never get the attention they deserve. To keep this more on topic, ensuring a healthy environment for your children is the best thing you can do. To tie it to my previous post, whooping your kid's ass for minor shyt is going to lead to emotional and mental issues.

Right. So the issues you spoke about more than likely stem from the household they come from and how our children have been raised. We must be willing to grow as parents, mentors, adults to take a step, try to understand the problem, be patient with the individual and offer guidance and change the programming from how we were raised.

 

[Shang Tsung]

Don't have any kids but im not going to be that parent who tries to be their kid's best friend

 

[factnotopinion]

Prenatal-2 are prime developmental years. The human body is bein*genetically hardwired for whatever life they will be living. Take these years as super important. No screen time until 2- for promoting development in a normal world. Tv and screens are too hyper everything and if kids are exposed to this during the 1st two years of life their physiology develops with this as the norm. Imagine how hard it would be sitting down at a desk and reading to yourself if your body is hardwired for tv stimuli as your norm.

Learn developmental milestones and help your child achieve them- even before their doctors visits( who will be checking). And learn academic/ grade level expectations and prepare your child to exceed them.

Read to them 10+ books a day- helps with attention, concentration, executive functions. And vocabulary. The amount and quality of words are very important. Also with bonding and shaping expectations. Books with Black people. The absence of all white is not enough. Active choice of people who look like them.

And this isn’t cloud talk, it’s what I do with mine.

 

[I AM WE ARE]

I know because of my divorce and my Kids being so young they have separation issues everytime I drop them back with their mom it's tears.
Also, I strongly believe like the other poster said mental health is key. My kids inherited so much from me. My oldest has my social anxiety I have to hold her hand when we go out and she's 15. My oldest son has my depression.

 

[I AM WE ARE]

Every morning I wake mine up
We watch a motivational video after hygiene
We eat
Then they read/ study for an hour
We exercise/ train
Then it's lunch
I want them stimulated

 

[Adeptus Astartes]

When my girls were first born, I looked down on parenting books. Those books have a lot of valuable insight in retrospect. Sleep training was a hell of a lot easier after I read about some proven methods.

 

[Adeptus Astartes]

Extended family needs to be more of a focus. Unfortunately, many young families move away from their families when they raise their own. I'm lucky enough to have extended family living in my home to help raise the girls. Otherwise, we would have had to use daycare. I can't imagine having to turn my kids over to strangers, but people do it every day.

 

[Be Strong Blackman]

We should also be mindful with how we interact with our spouses/partners or former partners...whether you're cool with them or not. Always try to conduct yourself in a mature, respectful manner when kids are around. They don't need to witness the hate that the two adults might have for each other. That affected me for a long time. If yall need to have a discussion with your partners, do it in private.