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Sharp, why play a game you don't like the rules of? Play another game. What's so hard to understand about this?
And again, if you want to change those rules on the stance that people should have a say in their responsibilities while disregarding their choices/actions, are you also letting women tell you whether to get vasectomies or not?
Why can't the rules be challenged? Simply put, in order to uphold this argument you simply have to explain why are these rules put in place. It is not sufficient enough to say that the rules are there so abide by them.
If rules were never challenged, alcohol would still be illegal [21st amendment], smoking would still be legal on airplanes, buses, etc., abortion would still be illegal [Roe v Wade], and the use of contraceptives would be still illegal [Griswold vs Connecticut]. All of these things were accomplished via challenging the status quo, so the question remains... why are you defending the status quo? This simple answer could potentially end this whole argument in your favor.
For your second part. you're stating that if we feel justified in allowing men to opt out of taking parental responsibility for their children, these women should also be allowed to tell us to have vasectomies. This is equivalent to us enforcing at will to women that they should have their tubes tied. The OP has never attempted to take the decision process away from the women. The OP is championing for men to have their own choice regardless of what the women chooses to do with her body.
A more specific question is "Why is it that the women can prevent the man from absolving his parental responsibilities, but at the same time can allow him to absolve his parental responsibilities if she wanted to?"
1) woman says that she is pregnant
2) man says that he does not want to have a baby
3) woman says that it is her body, her choice and decides to have baby
4) man understands that it is her body and wants to relinquish his rights as a dad
5) woman is fine with that and either does not put the man as the father on the birth certificate or allows him to sign over all of his parental rights.
A woman has this option.
SOmething to think about it.