My Chick cant take Constructive Criticism at all

[Elle Driver]

But i'm honest.

You hurt my feelings though.

 

[AITheAnswerAI]

You hurt my feelings though.

How I do that!?

 

[mcdivit85]

From a female perspective, I assume they react negatively because the man isn't supposed to notice any flaws.

You're supposed to be saying "all your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections". If you say you don't like something about her matter of factly then that would probably hurt. Then some people get defensive when they get hurt, then the fight etc etc

Imagine if your wife/girlfriend looked at you without your shirt on and matter of factly said "you should go to the gym". It stings no matter who does it

Yo, that's real sh#t though. Imagine if some dude's chick just flatly stated:

Yea, that session was kinda wack.....maybe we should wait a couple days before we have sex again....you need to get your energy up

Dude: Well, damn

Dude's confidence goes to zero. Sex life with his chick goes in the bushes. Finds out his chick is smashing the janitor at the apartment complex.

Makes a thread on The Coli talking about "these hoes aint loyal"...."HardonHoes."

Peace

 

[mcdivit85]

For the OP's dilemma, most people have a hard time taking constructive criticism....male or female. It can be tougher for women because women tend to create their ideas about themselves and their lives that sometimes make reality a hard pill to swallow.

But with the said, there's a difference between encouraging someone to make a change and harping on someone. You sound like may be harping on your girl about things, which is negative. That causes tension and makes the person feel that you're looking down on them.

Coaching someone to change is about positive reinforcement through pointing out the issue, confirming the issue and then finding a solution. Focusing on the solution and giving that person the tools and encouragement to reach the solution.

Harping on someone is negative and comes across as sideline hate and pompous. There's no working to find a solution with the person....just pointing out the issue over and over again.

What's worse is that most people don't know the difference. They think the two are the same and then wonder why that person listens to one person but tunes them out.....even if they mean the same thing. Most likely that's because the other person made them feel good about the change while you make them feel sh#tty for needing some guidance.

And honestly, you'd be better served by forming your words in a way that are no overly harsh or at least overly harsh towards her. You can be honest and to the point while making her laugh.....this is a skill that serves very well. Too many dudes don't know how to cater their message to their audience and then wonder why women just block them out.

Then they wonder why their chick is buying some dude Jordans with money from their joint account.....he knew how to inspire her properly....and you didn't. Women are ruled by words.

I'm all for being honest and to the point, but dudes need to mold with their suggestions properly. No one wants to be around the kind of dude who's always got something slick to say under the guise of "I'm just trying to help you get better."

Peace

 

[L&HH]

I'm surprise she didn't hit you with the infamous "accept me for my flaws and all" line....you know how many times I've heard that line

The quote of thotties across the world

 

[Mordith]

Ooops wrong thread

 

[Capo Dei Capi]

So you tryna work things out still

 

[iceberg_is_on_fire]

My boy is three kids deep with a ratchet woman. Irks the fukk out of me. Trying to run shyt while he has the entire responsibility of finances and shyt on his plate. I tell him like we are telling you. I'm not advocating being mean, calling them out of their name, etc... But as a man, she needs to know and respect that shyt on GP. I've been in relationships where I didn't make the most money, where some of her family members didn't care for me, but it was known that my bullshyt tolerance was nonexistent and they respected me, I'm going to get that shyt above anything. It's the the inverse of that song, can't raise a man, you can't do that with a woman, you can't do that with anyone. A person has to want to do right by their mate. p*ssy isn't worth the headache breh. My wife and I don't argue. First of all, I don't argue back so it's tough to argue with only having one person talking. My wife and her ex were like two flammable objects. I'm like an ice cube. shyt rolls off of me and I'll look at you like you are fukking crazy till you get done acting like a fool. This topic incites me for some reason. You deserve better breh.

 

[rapbeats]

Stop coddling these broads breh. Man up on these bytches and they will respect you. The fact you're so timid to check their bullshyt is part of the problem.

Backlash ain't allowed in the dizzle Household. Shorty ain't even allowed to raise her voice at me under any circumstance

you talking to the wrong one. i said how THEY would Like you to speak to them. I didnt say I spoke to them that way.

 

[↓R↑LYB]

you talking to the wrong one. i said how THEY would Like you to speak to them. I didnt say I spoke to them that way.

Don't try to clean that shyt up now breh. You pretty much said you scared of these hoes. Take your L and go and simp no more

 

[The Prince of All Saiyans]

yr girl?

 

[invincible1914]

brehs, is this an all woman issue? she gets so mad and say im disrespecting her when im just trying to enlighten her to an issue im observing.

id respect someone more when they tell me what i dont want to hear than to suck up to me and let me fail without telling me the truth. I figured you could confined in your partner if anyone in the world


am i right? my girl wants me to p*ssy foot around and beat around the bush and i wasnt really raised that way

Man, join the club.....I hate to generalize, but I don't women can handle being wrong and being called out on it. They see it like a weakness. My girl don't even live in a world of right and wrong.... It's more like what makes her feel good or what makes her feel bad. It's hard for me to understand that women see things emotionally and logic and reason can get the Camby treatment.... (Translation: They can't listen unless you say it all dramatic like you in a Tyler Perry movie) But she's way better than when we met though.

 

[rapbeats]

Don't try to clean that shyt up now breh. You pretty much said you scared of these hoes. Take your L and go and simp no more

you must have the wrong poster. cause nothing i said could be misconstrued as scared of chicks.

 

[↓R↑LYB]

you must have the wrong poster. cause nothing i said could be misconstrued as scared of chicks.

Breh you basically said if you don't talk to these hoes a certain way, prepare for backlash.

Only a nikka scared of a thot would say something like that