my girls depression has gotten so bad that I don't want to be around her

[Dad]

You share that girl

Spoiler

With depression

 

[GoGetMyDamnBelt_]

You have to accept depression and anxiety are a part of her forever. If you can't deal cut out now. I have both. You don't get over it you just learn to manage it or you don't and people get hurt.

She needs you to chill the fukk out. Putting pressure on her to explain something she can't is making it worse. If she feels like you're going to leave or you don't like her because of something she can't control or explain it will not end well for her.

You don't have to suffer though. If it's not for you just tell her. But if you care about her stick by her as her friend and listen when she wants to talk.

I hope you didn't tell her you love her. If so, if you dump her, make sure somebody watches her. Also, she suffers every second of everyday. I'm not hating but your moments of discomfort are slight compared to her constant suffering.

This why I fukks with you, you totally understand.

 

[Dad]

Most can't deal with it. I had people leave me who could not deal with it. Sometime it best to let that person learn handle that shyt on their own. I still get thoughts in my head , then my mood changes from chill to just zero. Worse than sad or mad my mood drops to zero. I push people away at this point, and become very mean for no reason. Gym, keeping busy, or just going to see a movie by myself help with the mood swings. People ask you what they can do to help, most of the time being alone helps much better then talking the issues out because lets be honest the deep seeded issues from the past 20 years that make you depressed won't be fix with pep talk.

Food for thought.

>most of the time being alone helps much better then talking the issues out because lets be honest the deep seeded issues from the past 20 years that make you depressed won't be fix with pep talk.

thats a good point, thanks breh

 

[root_eruditorium_org]

I have anxiety and depression brought on by that anxiety. I take pills every single day but aside from my mom nobody else knows (or would care to be honest). The fact that it is so bad it is affecting you is telling. Try to get her professional help before she succumbs to self harm. Forget about the relationship for now just try to get her some help.

 

[Dad]

Going thru the same thing right now homie wife got meds for depression and anxiety and doctors think she maybe bipolar too its hard when i see her cry and stuff pills down her throat that bright smile gone getting phone calls at work frm her saying she dnt wanna fight this feelong no more had to beg my manager to take me off the nightshift so i can be home with her calls frm her supervisor every month to come get her frm work after an anxiety attack cause they wont let her drive back home its a hard knock life bruh if you a weak ass nikka you'll leave her, but walking out on a good woman is not ideal..

>if you a weak ass nikka you'll leave her, but walking out on a good woman is not ideal..

I feel you on this

 

[Dixon Cider]

Start planning your escape/new life I stayed till mine put me in jail and while in jail they enhanced everything because I got prior F's could have got me stuck in there for nothing. She made sure to overlap the relationship once I made my mind up to leave.

 

[Rawtid]

You have to accept depression and anxiety are a part of her forever. If you can't deal cut out now. I have both. You don't get over it you just learn to manage it or you don't and people get hurt.

She needs you to chill the fukk out. Putting pressure on her to explain something she can't is making it worse. If she feels like you're going to leave or you don't like her because of something she can't control or explain it will not end well for her.

You don't have to suffer though. If it's not for you just tell her. But if you care about her stick by her as her friend and listen when she wants to talk.

I hope you didn't tell her you love her. If so, if you dump her, make sure somebody watches her. Also, she suffers every second of everyday. I'm not hating but your moments of discomfort are slight compared to her constant suffering.

She's the one who shouldn't have agreed to be in a relationship if she wasn't prepared to do what's necessary and often uncomfortable to make sure the union thrives in spite of her depression. She's no longer allowed to "hole up" and be uncommunicative to someone who is supposed to be her partner. When I became a mother that whole sleep all day, cry all night, get low for weeks at a time, was no longer an option. The same applies for when you are a depressed friend or spouse. You HAVE to focus on managing your short-comings and not expect people to deal with it.

 

[root_eruditorium_org]

That's a Maple Leaf breh

 

[GoGetMyDamnBelt_]

Op you know your limits. You can't save her from her depression because you have no control over chemicals in her brain (not anymore than she does). You have to do what's right for you in the long run, especially if you do not want a future with this girl. When you are depressed, it's nice to have someone there mainly because this person refutes all the negative thoughts that run through your mind. That person usually makes things slightly more tolerable and allows the person to feel, "maybe I'm not as bad as I thought I was" or "maybe I can do this". With that being said, people are fragile and feed off energy from their environment. You are a person and therefore impressionable. This is natural. If you are starting to struggle then it's important to find a balance or make your own happiness and gently break away. Listen, if you are in a relationship and she is aware of her depressive states, you should be able to tell her, " hey baby I love you and I want to help you. But it's hard to feel positive when you snap at me. Can you help me with that?" She should say yes, even if it's through tears or shame and guilt of threats that "now I feel worse for treating you bad!" If she says yes, you have hope and if you love her then think about it . However if she continues to make you feel awful and refuses ease up on you, please take your mental health into consideration.

I feel bad again... @ejthompson23 I'm sorry, cherie

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

She's the one who shouldn't have agreed to be in a relationship if she wasn't prepared to do what's necessary and often uncomfortable to make sure the union thrives in spite of her depression. She's no longer allowed to "hole up" and be uncommunicative to someone who is supposed to be her partner. When I became a mother that whole sleep all day, cry all night, get low for weeks at a time, was no longer an option. The same applies for when you are a depressed friend or spouse. You HAVE to focus on managing your short-comings and not expect people to deal with it.

You're a good mom. Keep that shyt up. Lol @ short comings. You're right though, being alive is definitely a short coming at this point.

I don't like that society thinks talking about something makes it go away. I dated a girl who was raped. She talked about it. It didn't stop her from fighting in her sleep. Some things will never be okay.

What helped her was me loving her unconditionally and excepting that sometimes she didn't want to be around anyone. I called it a vacation. I lived with this chick too.

It didn'the bother me Maybe I'm weird.

On the flip side of that there were times where she just wanted to be held. If I'd move she'd wake up and get scared. Expecting someone to be happy all the time is unrealistic and I wouldn't trust someone who was happy all the time. Life isn't a Disney movie.

 

[ejthompson23]

>if you a weak ass nikka you'll leave her, but walking out on a good woman is not ideal..

I feel you on this

Only real nikkas got the balls to ride the bad times out that shyt not for the faint of heart...

 

[ejthompson23]

I feel bad again... @ejthompson23 I'm sorry, cherie

you good babe...ima stomp out that fukk boy @Poitier for you next weekend

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

you good babe...ima stomp out that fukk boy @Poitier for you next weekend

Lmao, breh. You're hilarious. I really want to see you and Poitier argue in real life. Neither of you come off as the type to back down. But you both seem calm. I think you're crazier than him though. I got money on you throwing the first punch. I dunno who's going to win though.

 

[Rawtid]

You're a good mom. Keep that shyt up. Lol @ short comings. You're right though, being alive is definitely a short coming at this point.

I don't like that society thinks talking about something makes it go away. I dated a girl who was raped. She talked about it. It didn't stop her from fighting in her sleep. Some things will never be okay.

What helped her was me loving her unconditionally and excepting that sometimes she didn't want to be around anyone. I called it a vacation. I lived with this chick too.

It didn'the bother me Maybe I'm weird.

On the flip side of that there were times where she just wanted to be held. If I'd move she'd wake up and get scared. Expecting someone to be happy all the time is unrealistic and I wouldn't trust someone who was happy all the time. Life isn't a Disney movie.

I definitely feel you and I agree that expecting happiness all the time is unrealistic, but with that said the same person you are depressed and single CANNOT be the same person you are depressed and in a relationship/friendship/parentship or whatever.

When you agree to these "associations" with others, you also agree to try to work through issues with those people and not shut them out. You can't just expect people to deal with it if that makes sense.

 

[CrimsonTider]

I think that getting a service animal is a great idea. Get her a cute little yorkie or something.

Sounds like a terrible idea