My verdict on Marriage vs Single Life (based on experience)

[beezy]

if you win the lottery you can be rich the problem is there's no way to guarantee or even make it more probable you'll win the lottery. all you can really do is play and hope. same with your good girl good marriage theory.

while if you win the lottery you'll be rich the gamble of marriage is far worse than that of the lottery. once you win the lotto you've won it forever and you're in control of your winnings. you can win at marriage years 1-3 and in the 4th year have it blow up in your face and fail and significantly lower your quality of life to be worse than that of what it was when you were single.

you really have no control over how your marriage plays out. there are things you can do to try and make it work but its success or failure hing on the person you married and their whims. you can do everything right and have it fail due to them.

in single life you are always in control of the way things go. in married life you give up control to random luck and another person's whims and when it all comes down to it the risk is not worth the reward if for nothing else the fact that at any moment the reward can be snatched away from you.

its like playing the lotto and if you win you get the check but at any given moment the state can step in and take whatever winnings you have away from you and there's nothing you can do to stop it. on top of that they can take actually more than you won, a portion of your current income monthly for example.

the problem with marriage is its a business decision that people have tried to make into an emotional one. if you remove romance from marriage and approach it from a business standpoint it works but emotions ruin marriage by turning it into a shytty gamble.

Comparing the odds of having a good marriage to the odds of winning the lottery is a SUPER reach. so by wording yourself that way anybody would second guess marriage and think its near impossible to get it right. Truth is, although the divorce rate may be high at almost 50%, that still leaves you with JUST AS MANY non-divorces. you dont have a 50% chance of winning the lottery

Of those failed marriages, how many of them do you think sought 3rd party help like counseling or attended marriage retreats etc? probably not alot. but sure there may be some that did use resources and still failed (which ive seen mediation actually make divorces go smoother and easier for both parties) either way, i have access to resources like that for free, my wife and i are both open to using them, have used them, and have seen them significantly help my marriage. being proactive and AWARE of the common pitfalls of marriage and arming yourself with tools to get through them i think can be half the battle. so right there i increase my odds of success.

again, of those divorces, what do you think was statistically the most common problem? money fights. i dont have this problem because we are doing very well financially. we bring in well over the average household income, have a retirement plan and investments in place, savings for a rainy day, and just about everything we need. that cannot be said for the grand majority of americans. that alone increases our odds of success significantly.

of said divorces, how many of those guys do you think had a real good girl? im talkin bout one that doesnt reflect the epidemic of these western women that dont know their role. one that doesnt bring the baggage so many of these women carry; that doesnt have a body count, or daddy issues, or crazy exes, or kids from previous relationships, spoiled attitudes and false senses of entitlement. I know its hard to find women without issues like this, but guess what, I DID. my wife came from a strongly christian household, has morals and values,virtually no past i am unaware of cuz ive known her since we were 10, cooks, cleans, is a good mother, good to me, loyal, obedient, honest, humble, and knows her place as a woman. and i cuffed that before she ever got a chance to taint any of that. again, ive gone against the odds and increased my chances of a good marriage.

as far as the volatility you speak of, saying things can be all good for years and then one day things go south, i will say this: we've had our moments of craziness, mostly in the early days of our relationship. but with time and experience we've gotten consistently better, more peaceful, able to resolve conflicts. i cant imagine making progress for years consistently and then one day outta the blue, BAM! regressing to old ways that we completely left behind for the better.. it just wouldnt make sense. you dont learn to ride a bike, get better at it over time, and then all of a sudden forget one day. but okay, ill stay open to the idea that it can be a possibility, and always keep my guard up and resources on deck. regardless, i like my odds; ive been very lucky in life so far and considering ive defied many statistics already, i wont doubt i can or will this one. im more optimistic than that.

 

[Dafunkdoc_Unlimited]

none of that women as victims of men crap has anything to do with marriage being better off left as a business decision.

Color it any way you want, but you're still doing/thinking exactly what feminists want........

Most women are one man away from welfare. -- Gloria Steinem

Nora leaves her husband, not--as the stupid critic would have it--because she is tired of her responsibilities or feels the need of woman's rights, but because she has come to know that for eight years she had lived with a stranger and borne him children. Can there be anything more humiliating, more degrading than a life-long proximity between two strangers? No need for the woman to know anything of the man, save his income. As to the knowledge of the woman--what is there to know except that she has a pleasing appearance? -- Emma Goldman

 

[Ronnie Lott]

Look breh, i didnt say i hate being single; on the contrary i said ive lead a happy fulfilling single life. HOWEVER, in comparison, my life RIGHT NOW is more fulfilling and makes ME happier. sure, i can do my own chores and grocery shoppin, and do what i gotta do but i welcome anything that takes any sort of load off my back. why not? if theres a better more efficient way of doing things, why not do it? ill BE lazy, fukk it, whatever makes me happy. i said its not for everyone and everyone is different. i said you gotta choose wisely because im aware of the she devils out there BUT, i got a good one as of now. the 7 year itch you quoted is actually now 3 YEARS on average.. i made it passed that hump, so far so good. and when 7 years rolls around, guess what, i'll do what i gotta do to keep us happy; whether that means counseling, marriage retreats, vacation, whatever. ive hit rough patches like everyone, and i know those pass and things get good again when you weather the storm. and my wife i not some complacent slob, she is proactive at making this work and always improving our situation too. are you tellin me YOU'D be to weak or lazy to be able to do that? so you rather avoid it completely. good for you fam. whatever makes you happy. and if i gotta introduce my wife to the bushes one day, then ima do that too, no problem and i will weather that and be good again too. and YES, i DO make more money now because in my profession, you can clearly see the difference on paper that i get more money specifically because im married and with a child. a child may cost money, but that extra money offsets that, as well as the dual income that comes in from my wife. so how you gonna tell me i dont make more money!? you do my taxes? you see everything i got now compared to what i had as a single guy? if you knew me personally this would not even be debatable. the point of this thread was voicing MY opinion on MY situation, and showing people that its all good for me, im happy, and anyone CAN be too in the context of marriage. thats all. be mad if you want

ive + repped you, dapped you, respected, and taken your advice on things before.. so why are you trying to rain on my parade? idk why people gotta hate on a young nikka for bein happy and doin it a different way than them.. thats some hoe shyt

If u are happy, then good for u. I'm not hatin or tryin to shyt on u. But it seems like u are trying to justify marriage for your laziness and incompitence. Your lack of economic responsibility as an individual seems to be a semi excuse or reason why u are married.

And another thing. U created this thread and opened up a huge part of your life to a message board. U can't really be mad because people are giving u responses that u don't care to hear. U brought this on yourself bruh. U opened up pandoras box and people are gonna go hard on u about your POV on marriage. Nobody is tryin to rain on your parade, people just question the true validity of your marriage. It seems like you sold yourself a bit short in order to "make life easier." Again I'm not tryna shyt on u or your marriage. I'm just givin it 2 u straight bruh. But much respect to u and your marriage.

 

[beezy]

If u are happy, then good for u. I'm not hatin or tryin to shyt on u. But it seems like u are trying to justify marriage for your laziness and incompitence. Your lack of economic responsibility as an individual seems to be a semi excuse or reason why u are married.

And another thing. U created this thread and opened up a huge part of your life to a message board. U can't really be mad because people are giving u responses that u don't care to hear. U brought this on yourself bruh. U opened up pandoras box and people are gonna go hard on u about your POV on marriage. Nobody is tryin to rain on your parade, people just question the true validity of your marriage. It seems like you sold yourself a bit short in order to "make life easier." Again I'm not tryna shyt on u or your marriage. I'm just givin it 2 u straight bruh. But much respect to u and your marriage.

breh, i didnt get married because im lazy or incompetent. truth is, i got married because i got my then gf pregnant and decided to man up and take responsibility by joining the military and taking care of them. thankfully, i was in love with her and didnt just get some random broad pregnant. so if you wanna blame it on my irresponsibility still, it could be said that i fcked up by gettin my girl pregnant. but honestly, im glad i did because it steered my life in the right direction and opened many doors for me. all im doin now is listing things i find beneficial about my marriage. whats wrong with wanting to make life easier? sure, if i were single i COULD take care of myself and manage my finances and be fine. im just saying i like THIS better right now.

 

[Ronnie Lott]

breh, i didnt get married because im lazy or incompetent. truth is, i got married because i got my then gf pregnant and decided to man up and take responsibility by joining the military and taking care of them. thankfully, i was in love with her and didnt just get some random broad pregnant. so if you wanna blame it on my irresponsibility still, it could be said that i fcked up by gettin my girl pregnant. but honestly, im glad i did because it steered my life in the right direction and opened many doors for me. all im doin now is listing things i find beneficial about my marriage. whats wrong with wanting to make life easier? sure, if i were single i COULD take care of myself and manage my finances and be fine. im just saying i like THIS better right now.

Ok fine. But now it seems like u are basicly sayin that the main reason why u got married was because you knocked your chick up. That's on some shotgun wedding type shyt. Was your chick even on the pill? Was she tryin to trap u? How do u know she didn't have a secret agenda to hurry up get preg & get married when SHE wanted to? I'm just playin devils advocate bruh. And I'm trying to understand the true legitimacy of your decision to marry your chick. Its almost as if u created this thread to totally justify your decisions. Again, let me be clear. This is not an attempt to disrespect your union/family/marriage or your happieness. I'm merely attempting to get a bit more clarity

 

[beezy]

Ok fine. But now it seems like u are basicly sayin that the main reason why u got married was because you knocked your chick up. That's on some shotgun wedding type shyt. Was your chick even on the pill? Was she tryin to trap u? How do u know she didn't have a secret agenda to hurry up get preg & get married when SHE wanted to? I'm just playin devils advocate bruh. And I'm trying to understand the true legitimacy of your decision to marry your chick. Its almost as if u created this thread to totally justify your decisions. Again, let me be clear. This is not an attempt to disrespect your union/family/marriage or your happieness. I'm merely attempting to get a bit more clarity

Yea thats basically what i meant, and ill stick by it. i DID marry her mainly because i knocked her up. i was young and dumb using 'pullin out' as my form of contraception. we had been living together at this point though and in love so it didnt matter to me to get married. and trust me,there was no hidden agenda, we almost aborted the baby but i decided that i wanted this. is it the way most people envision getting married? no. but thats the way it went for me and i dont think it makes it any more illegitimate than a 'traditional' marriage.

 

[winb83]

Comparing the odds of having a good marriage to the odds of winning the lottery is a SUPER reach. so by wording yourself that way anybody would second guess marriage and think its near impossible to get it right. Truth is, although the divorce rate may be high at almost 50%, that still leaves you with JUST AS MANY non-divorces. you dont have a 50% chance of winning the lottery

Of those failed marriages, how many of them do you think sought 3rd party help like counseling or attended marriage retreats etc? probably not alot. but sure there may be some that did use resources and still failed (which ive seen mediation actually make divorces go smoother and easier for both parties) either way, i have access to resources like that for free, my wife and i are both open to using them, have used them, and have seen them significantly help my marriage. being proactive and AWARE of the common pitfalls of marriage and arming yourself with tools to get through them i think can be half the battle. so right there i increase my odds of success.

again, of those divorces, what do you think was statistically the most common problem? money fights. i dont have this problem because we are doing very well financially. we bring in well over the average household income, have a retirement plan and investments in place, savings for a rainy day, and just about everything we need. that cannot be said for the grand majority of americans. that alone increases our odds of success significantly.

of said divorces, how many of those guys do you think had a real good girl? im talkin bout one that doesnt reflect the epidemic of these western women that dont know their role. one that doesnt bring the baggage so many of these women carry; that doesnt have a body count, or daddy issues, or crazy exes, or kids from previous relationships, spoiled attitudes and false senses of entitlement. I know its hard to find women without issues like this, but guess what, I DID. my wife came from a strongly christian household, has morals and values,virtually no past i am unaware of cuz ive known her since we were 10, cooks, cleans, is a good mother, good to me, loyal, obedient, honest, humble, and knows her place as a woman. and i cuffed that before she ever got a chance to taint any of that. again, ive gone against the odds and increased my chances of a good marriage.

as far as the volatility you speak of, saying things can be all good for years and then one day things go south, i will say this: we've had our moments of craziness, mostly in the early days of our relationship. but with time and experience we've gotten consistently better, more peaceful, able to resolve conflicts. i cant imagine making progress for years consistently and then one day outta the blue, BAM! regressing to old ways that we completely left behind for the better.. it just wouldnt make sense. you dont learn to ride a bike, get better at it over time, and then all of a sudden forget one day. but okay, ill stay open to the idea that it can be a possibility, and always keep my guard up and resources on deck. regardless, i like my odds; ive been very lucky in life so far and considering ive defied many statistics already, i wont doubt i can or will this one. im more optimistic than that.

how do you find a real good girl? in a world where humans constantly evolve and change how do you ensure that the woman who's considered a good girl today remains a good girl until her dying day? how many of these good girls are even out there verses all the rest of the girls?

marrying the right person is something said in hindsight if at the end of your life you're still married to that person and it worked out. other than that its not something you can actually know because i've seen people 25+ years into a marriage get divorced.

marriage required two people that are dedicated fully to the institution and determined to make it work no matter what to be successful. at its best marriage is very challenging and at its worst its a nightmare.

statistically speaking your odds are worse than 50-50 because there are people that get married for romantic reasons and the marriage fails but divorce never happens. maybe because while they got married for romantic reasons the love died and they stuck it out in marriage for the business reasons. a loveless unhappy marriage that doesn't end in divorce.

this is marriage in the western world. two constantly changing variables you and your partner in an equation with an unknown outcome. you probably aren't the same person you were 10 years ago. she probably isn't the same person she was 10 years ago. maybe the level of success in marriage is dependent upon both you and her never coming in contact with people who are more suitable partners for you than each other.


all those things you talked about doing to save the marriage, it takes both of you to do them. you can't account for the other person. you can't force them into counseling. maybe when you married her she was a good girl and determined to make it work and as time went on that fact changed. maybe she met someone else. maybe she got bored. maybe she got corrupted.

but hell you say the odds are 50-50 lets go with that. i'm gonna hand you an apple and there's a 50-50 that the apple is either going to drastically enhance your life or ruin your life and make you paralyzed for life. the apple could show the positive side effect for many years then ultimately show the negative or it could just shot the positive side effect and never the negative. are you going to eat that apple at the chance for a better life and gamble on 50-50 odds and risk ruining your life when you really don't have to? is the juice worth the squeeze? people do it all the time in marriage and some come out saying they wish they never met her at all.

 

[↓R↑LYB]

Yea thats basically what i meant, and ill stick by it. i DID marry her mainly because i knocked her up. i was young and dumb using 'pullin out' as my form of contraception. we had been living together at this point though and in love so it didnt matter to me to get married. and trust me,there was no hidden agenda, we almost aborted the baby but i decided that i wanted this. is it the way most people envision getting married? no. but thats the way it went for me and i dont think it makes it any more illegitimate than a 'traditional' marriage.

so you in here running your beak about how great marriage is and the only reason you got married is cause you got the bytch pregnant?

 

[The Nigerian]

so you in here running your beak about how great marriage is and the only reason you got married is cause you got the bytch pregnant?

 

[beezy]

how do you find a real good girl? in a world where humans constantly evolve and change how do you ensure that the woman who's considered a good girl today remains a good girl until her dying day? how many of these good girls are even out there verses all the rest of the girls?

marrying the right person is something said in hindsight if at the end of your life you're still married to that person and it worked out. other than that its not something you can actually know because i've seen people 25+ years into a marriage get divorced.

marriage required two people that are dedicated fully to the institution and determined to make it work no matter what to be successful. at its best marriage is very challenging and at its worst its a nightmare.

statistically speaking your odds are worse than 50-50 because there are people that get married for romantic reasons and the marriage fails but divorce never happens. maybe because while they got married for romantic reasons the love died and they stuck it out in marriage for the business reasons. a loveless unhappy marriage that doesn't end in divorce.

this is marriage in the western world. two constantly changing variables you and your partner in an equation with an unknown outcome. you probably aren't the same person you were 10 years ago. she probably isn't the same person she was 10 years ago. maybe the level of success in marriage is dependent upon both you and her never coming in contact with people who are more suitable partners for you than each other.


all those things you talked about doing to save the marriage, it takes both of you to do them. you can't account for the other person. you can't force them into counseling. maybe when you married her she was a good girl and determined to make it work and as time went on that fact changed. maybe she met someone else. maybe she got bored. maybe she got corrupted.

but hell you say the odds are 50-50 lets go with that. i'm gonna hand you an apple and there's a 50-50 that the apple is either going to drastically enhance your life or ruin your life and make you paralyzed for life. the apple could show the positive side effect for many years then ultimately show the negative or it could just shot the positive side effect and never the negative. are you going to eat that apple at the chance for a better life and gamble on 50-50 odds and risk ruining your life when you really don't have to? is the juice worth the squeeze? people do it all the time in marriage and some come out saying they wish they never met her at all.

For the sake of this discussion, i mentioned some qualities of a "good girl" so you can use that as a scale and judge women you deal with to meet that criteria. thats "how". im not saying its easy or common just that i did. sure, people change but you cant change your past and where you came from. so if the foundation is solid then that'll at least make you feel safer about what they may be like in the future. so fine, only time will tell if we grow apart. however, im already in this, i took the bite of your "apple", so best i can do now is whatever i can to make it work. and once again you make a totally far out comparison by comparing it to an apple that can paralyze you and ruin your life.. i really dont see myself dying or being crippled if i were to go through a divorce. yea, they can get nasty, but it doesnt have to be all that. and i know the person im dealing with. she may change over time but she would have to be a completely different person for it to go down like that.. im sure i could bounce back from a divorce and be fine. but like i said, i think my odds are better than the average joe because ive eliminated some of the major causes of breakups, so id rate me above 50. you seem hell bent on convincing me that this is probably not gonna work out. however, its very easy to play devils advocate when you dont know my situation and all you have is your own life or horror stories online to compare it to. what are you trying to accomplish? you're not changing my mind and im not changing yours. im happy where im at, im taking things day by day and doing what i gotta do to keep it that way. period. whatever happens in the future will be a bridge i cross when i get there.

 

[beezy]

so you in here running your beak about how great marriage is and the only reason you got married is cause you got the bytch pregnant?

its not the only reason; i coulda done like so many other guys and just had a bm and pay child support or w/e. but i didnt cuz i figured this could work. and so far so good, IT IS GREAT. it doesnt matter how i got here, but i did and im stating the fact that im good with it. idk why this is such a mindblowing concept to people.. and please, show some respect. i didnt get some b!tch pregnant, shes my wife.

 

[↓R↑LYB]

its not the only reason; i coulda done like so many other guys and just had a bm and pay child support or w/e. but i didnt cuz i figured this could work. and so far so good, IT IS GREAT. it doesnt matter how i got here, but i did and im stating the fact that im good with it. idk why this is such a mindblowing concept to people.. and please, show some respect. i didnt get some b!tch pregnant, shes my wife, and was my live-in serious gf when it happened.

Stop it slime, you got some bytch pregnant then made her your wife. There's only one question that needs to be asked. If your girl didn't get pregnant, would you have married her when you did?

If not, sit yo ass nikka

 

[beezy]

Stop it slime, you got some bytch pregnant then made her your wife. There's only one question that needs to be asked. If your girl didn't get pregnant, would you have married her when you did?

If not, sit yo ass nikka

na, i stated it was already serious, we were living together when it happened, and i was already considering being with her for life, so na, it wasnt some b!tch. if it was we woulda gone thru with the abortion. i may not have married her right then and there because there was no reason to; my son was the spark that set this whole thing in motion. and im glad. idk why yall feel like im wrong for that, or whatever you guys are tryna do by comin in here and hatin on a nikka for doin what he thought was the right thing and not havin regrets.. like what do yall want, for me to be cryin and sayin this was a mistake and i regret it? its far from it. so be mad if this is about misery lovin company. at least i know everyone that knows us family,friends, etc are proud of what ive done and im envied. more than yall can probably say as salty as yall sound.

 

[↓R↑LYB]

na, i stated it was already serious, we were living together when it happened, and i was already considering being with her for life, so na, it wasnt some b!tch. if it was we woulda gone thru with the abortion. i may not have married her right then and there because there was no reason to; my son was the spark that set this whole thing in motion. and im glad. idk why yall feel like im wrong for that, or whatever you guys are tryna do by comin in here and hatin on a nikka for doin what he thought was the right thing and not havin regrets.. like what do yall want, for me to be cryin and sayin this was a mistake and i regret it? its far from it. so be mad if this is about misery lovin company. at least i know everyone that knows us family,friends, etc are proud of what ive done and im envied. more than yall can probably say as salty as yall sound.

what do I have to be upset about. I have 0 kids, my gf lives with me, and I have no contractual obligations to the broad.

And ain't no one hating on your dumb ass, we just don't agree with you. Nothing about your life makes me think "damn I wish I was him "

Now THIS is hating

http://www.the-coli.com/show-room/35527-so-nicca-like-me-done-copped-bentley.html

Came up from playing modern warfare 3. A white boy outta minnesota that i run with on the game is a repoman, and always talkin bout how his boss buy the repos and sell em. So I tell him to let me know next time they got something good for sale. Long story short here I am
06 GT and its lovely bruhs. The accleration the car sounding like a damn racecar

Im going out on a night on the town tonight for the first time hope i dont catch a STD


For all u punks that think this is check the car thread on and see how i rock

The only time yall celebrate is when someone drugdealerish dude comes through with a hot whip, so stupid...

Since when were old, used luxury cars whoa at all?

Nothing about this seems above board at all.

That car looks like nothing but trouble.

 

[Mr Hate Coffee]

The coli at its finest.

Two people on opposite ends of the spectrum trying to convince the other side they're right.

Funny thing is, I dont think anybody on this forum is dodging marriage if they make it to 40. Societal pressure is too high.