Need a man’s perspective…

[Phitz]

I haven't read previous posts yet because I can figure out what these blind deaf and negative are going to say. I've downloaded the que cards.

anyway...

How can I tell if I man is serious or if he’s playing the long game?

Im seeing a man in his 40’s, he’s divorced with teenage kids. He seems marriage/ relationship minded. We’ve been dating for 3 months.

I am new to dating after being off the market for 19 years, I’m recently divorced. I just want to make sure I’m looking for the right things.


Eta: this is not a troll account. I just don’t post that’s all…

If he wants to spend a ton of time(or most of his free time) with you then he's serious

 

[Anerdyblackguy]

Just talk and communicate. At 40 he should be more direct in his responses

 

[Luke Cage]

See, this I why I don’t post. I’m a TWD fan. Michonne is a strong female lead. Am I from LSA? YES. I’m I dating a yt man? NO

Hey, i used to watch walking dead, but didn't follow later in the series, so i was only aware she was a dreaded up black women with a sword which is cool.
but whatever she's Okoye to me now anyway.
but to answer your question. you just got free after being locked up for 19 years and you trying to go back? I'd advise enjoying to single life for a bit and dating around. If you can find a husband in your 40s you can find one in your 50s too.

 

[Detroit Wave]

Get trolled by cacs using accounts named after bedwenches brehs

 

[Phitz]

Hey, i used to watch walking dead, but didn't follow later in the series, so i was only aware she was a dreaded up black women with a sword which is cool.
but whatever she's Okoye to me now anyway.
but to answer your question. you just got free after being locked up for 19 years and you trying to go back? I'd advise enjoying to single life for a bit and dating around. If you can find a husband in your 40s you can find one in your 50s too.

that's not gauranteed, you know at her age she needs the security. Good chemistry is hard to find at any age in this modern age.

dating around sucks right now, so that might just rack up some more small emotional injuries

 

[Roid Jones]

Mods need to get a handle on these troll accounts SMH

 

[FeverPitch2]

I would tell any person this.

Listen and observe.
Listen intently when he speaks. People tell us far more than they think they are when they talk.
Too often we don't listen closely enough because we just wanna hear the hot and gooey romantic stuff.
Talk about everyday things. Talk about society, music, politics, race, etc. and listen to what he says about them.
Ask a person their story. Childhood. High School. College. Past jobs.
People love to talk about themselves. That's where you find a wealth of vital information.
Observe his all around behavior, not just interactions with you.

The biggest indicator that somebody is into you is how available they make themselves to you.
If they make a consistent effort to communicate with you and be around you.
You don't have to be joined at the hip, but if they make a conscious effort to include you in what they have going on in their life, that's a good sign.

 

[Dont@Me]

See, this I why I don’t post. I’m a TWD fan. Michonne is a strong female lead. Am I from LSA? YES. I’m I dating a yt man? NO

Get the torches!!!!!!!

 

[F*ckthemkids]

Hard pass

I bet if I was a CAC named Rick you’d do it

 

[Music Fiend]

Not a troll account.

Even though I recently divorced I’ve been separated for over 4 years. I think I’m ready but still not sure what I’m looking for.

Seeing my moms date after being a widow I think theres 5 things to do as next steps

1) Don't look for your last partner. Especially if he was a solid dude, you gonna have to take the L on some things for a W in others.
2) Be willing to be open-minded regarding lifestyle, maybe a you live here and I live here situation will work better if both are set in their ways
3) Save your time and don't entertain anyone virtually for longer than a few weeks before meeting up. Ppl are full of sh*t and can sell u a dream virtually.
4) Don't date for fun, date what you can live with and maintain. it may seem exciting, but you gotta prioritize the lifestyle you've already made and adpated to. You should be open to change, but it should be reasonable. Ex. Don't get with the breh with young kids if that hasn't been something you are used to
5) Figure out the main 3 things you need in a partner and what that means to you (realistically) and let that be the pool of options. (ex. If companionship/adventure is a huge thing this means your partner will need to make X amount of money, have X amount of free-time, work X-amount of hours, and have X amount of responsibilities)

 

[Mike809]

How long did you wait before giving up the goods?

If I was a woman , I would make a guy wait a month+ before sex came up. You have to make the guy used
to your precense without sex being involved.

Not saying you have to be a prude , you can still share pics if you
into that or go to 2nd/3rd base but I would hold back on the sex a little bit longer if I was a woman.

 

[Uncouth Savage]

You both at a bar, something happens, he gets into a fight, gets knocked out and is snoring.
What do you do?

 

[BaldingSoHard]

How can I tell if I man is serious or if he’s playing the long game?

Im seeing a man in his 40’s, he’s divorced with teenage kids. He seems marriage/ relationship minded. We’ve been dating for 3 months.

I am new to dating after being off the market for 19 years, I’m recently divorced. I just want to make sure I’m looking for the right things.


Eta: this is not a troll account. I just don’t post that’s all…

How recently was he divorced?

 

[O.T.I.S.]

Sounds like the op isn't exactly sure what they want. Brutally honest communication is going to be the pathway forward.

Well she is being honest here, I don’t think the conversation has presented itself between them from what it seems

I waited until the divorce was final. I’m not sure of my end goal. Before I met this man marriage was completely off the table. But I could see myself marrying someone like him now.

thats a long time to go without.. you know.

Well… it’s ok to be unsure. How well do you know him? 3 months is a short time and marriage/divorce is expensive as you probably know. Are you both in a position to be comfortably married again

I would say just go with the flow. I wouldn’t force anything, just let it naturally progress. Like I said, 3 month is a short amount of time to truly get to know someone for both of you. Is he older or younger?

You sound like you’re dating to marry… and if he is older maybe he is too.

Or if he a coli breh maybe not. His actions will tell you if he’s ready to be serious and VICE VERSA. Just make sure both of you are healed after the divorces.

 

[Chrishaune]

You picked the wrong time to get back out in these streets.


You're about to go through it.