"No flowers, no planned dates, just “wyd” texts & 50/50"

[RareHunter]

ehh, I don’t post in this forum often unless I get sucked into a debate

and this is how you position what a man gets out of a relationship - that’s extremely negative and pessimistic. But you know what, you should pose this to the happily married brehs/brehs in happy relationships. I can tell you what I give a man, but you seem to need validation that men are getting something out of a relationship and only another man can share that

So I win this debate respectfully :’D. Best wishes to you.

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

So I win this debate respectfully :’D. Best wishes to you.

There was something to win?

LMAO, y’all are weird

 

[Saysumthinfunnymike]

secondly, dating multiple people isn’t moving like men. Finding a significant other is a game of numbers especially in online dating. You’re going to have a few matches that you go out with, you go one a few dates and start eliminating people. That’s not moving like men, that’s literally how dating works.

so you think if the man you just had a third date with hears "hey that's Dora so and so was over her house last night" that he's not gonna be like smh and treat u differently?

That's just how it works. You can push the "we aren't committed" thing all u want men don't wanna be around women who are still fukkin another dude.. he will take the "just my turn" approach

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

So when was the last time you "click with somebody"?

Cause your ass stay on here pushing nonsense.

I click with people all the time b/c unlike you I’m not on the psuedo-autism reject spectrum.
Of all people YOU talm bout somebody else’s situation?!

Have you EVER had a girlfriend? Have you ever been kissed?! I’d bet my ps5 you ain’t never had sex you haven’t paid for.
Do you even have friends?!

Susan, you better stop it. You should be asking me for help. I have students and clients that were just like you that are doing much better these days.

If I can exorcise that bitter scorned hoe energy out of your heart, I know there’s a good man in there somewhere. Worry less about what women doing and more about yourself.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

he was probably doin the old on the outside but on the inside

A common technique.

Lol this is true.

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

so you think if the man you just had a third date with hears "hey that's Dora so and so was over her house last night" that he's not gonna be like smh and treat u differently?

That's just how it works. You can push the "we aren't committed" thing all u want men don't wanna be around women who are still fukkin another dude.. he will take the "just my turn" approach

This ain’t college. Who is going to tell?

Furthermore, no one wants to know that you’re actively with other people, but it is something that’s always a possibility whether you know concretely or not. There is the reality that people see multiple people until they found someone they like. The reality is that, sure, you can walk away because this new chick/guy is dating or fukking someone else, but you can’t be mad or feel betrayed because someone you’ve known for a month and went on two dates with is also two dates in with the guy/girl they met the day before they met you. That’s all I mean by people are free to keep doing whatever. If it’s a dealbreaker for you, if it makes you feel intimidated or want to think less of her, cool, but it shouldn’t be because you expected that soon as you went on one date she should’ve dropped everything, that’s not how things work.

 

[Saysumthinfunnymike]

This ain’t college. Who is going to tell?

Furthermore, no one wants to know that you’re actively with other people, but it is something that’s always a possibility whether you know concretely or not. There is the reality that people see multiple people until they found someone they like. The reality is that, sure, you can walk away because this new chick/guy is dating or fukking someone else, but you can’t be mad or feel betrayed because someone you’ve known for a month and went on two dates with is also two dates in with the guy/girl they met the day before they met you. That’s all I mean by people are free to keep doing whatever. If it’s a dealbreaker for you, if it makes you feel intimidated or want to think less of her, cool, but it shouldn’t be because you expected that soon as you went on one date she should’ve dropped everything, that’s not how things work.

it's not really about any of that... you're making it complicated probably by design.. there's nothing more to it than a dude don't want a woman who is playin around in the street with randoms but then expects you to treat her differently than they do.

That's where the "just my turn" mindset is coming from. That's what the whole thread about. A quality man or woman probably gonna feel like they need a quality partner.

She's not getting flowers and all that because men don't view her as worthy of all that. it's up to women to change the way they are viewed.

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

it's not really about any of that... you're making it complicated probably by design.. there's nothing more to it than a dude don't want a woman who is playin around in the street with randoms but then expects you to treat her differently than they do.

That's where the "just my turn" mindset is coming from. That's what the whole thread about. A quality man or woman probably gonna feel like they need a quality partner.

She's not getting flowers and all that because men don't view her as worthy of all that. it's up to women to change the way they are viewed.

I’m not making anything complicated. You are. Like I said, the reality is people have jumpoffs, people date more than one person at a time, people drop the extras when they meet someone they want to be serious with. If you ain’t being the town bustdown fukking everyone in your circle, broadcasting your life on SM, no one is gonna know what you’re doing. And having a casual sex partner does not equate to playing around with randoms. It keeps you from stacking bodies since you have one person you can go to.

 

[Saysumthinfunnymike]

no one is gonna know what you’re doing.

You can think that but it often comes to light.. women (and men) don't know how to keep they mouth shut and they are also horrible liars. And it's not just about you keeping your business on the low... it's about the other person you are dealing with. They get cut off and then they start running they mouth too.

Men are talking about you ten minutes after they fukk

Men are gossiping hoes whether you wanna believe that or not. But i think this is off topic. The way women move and whether they receive more than "wyd" is all related.

 

[Wild self]

Well, Generation Z and their love affair listening to Drill rappers, basically ending simping altogether.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

My issue isn't even just paying more - It's that what I'm paying for isn't worth much more. Sometimes it's worth less

A lot of chicks - not all, but a lot -.have this sort of self-centered view that them just being them is all they need for a relationship, and it's my job to prove my worth.

So I'm paying extra money for a chick who is literally just there? Doesn't really care about me emotionally? Finds it an affront for her to pay for anything? Thinks an affront to spend money? And actually won't have sex as early or as much? Acts like everything they do is then sacrificing while everything I do is the bare minimum.

Maybe that's the disconnect. I feel like I've said this repeatedly, but I'll say it again. Not every chick is some good fair, person. @dora_da_destroyer @Booksnrain not every chick's definition of "relationship" is the same. For a lot of women, they have a very one-sided view of relationships. Yall don't see it because yall don't date women. Its that simple. Y'all probably get upset when men mansplain what women do.

I don’t have an issue with men explaining their concerns about dating. I have an issue with the hypocrisy, irrationality and lack of accountability some men have when it comes to their dealings with some women.

Here’s the major point I’ve gathered from this thread and the issues I see with this mentality as my high kicks in.

Men are saying they don’t want to pay for dates because they are concerned that women are giving other men what they want for little to no effort.

Spoiler: Problem #1

First of all, these days there are a shyt ton of women doing shyt financially for men. There’s even a running joke about women paying to keep a man. So a man doesn’t and shouldn’t have to break himself financially in ways that aren’t reciprocated especially when they are just in the talking stages with a woman. But men need to take accountability for their choices in the women they choose to court. Because there are plenty of women who will do shyt for their men. Some doing more for men than the reverse. Pickmes abound these days.

But the issue is men choosing women that don’t like them and thinking that dropping bread will win these chicks over. Many will overlook a chick who’d give you the world, but crawl through glass for a chick that will have you paying for a meal she’ll go home and share with a bum nikka. That’s UR dikk making you mentally glitch when it comes to discernment. Don’t blame normal women for the bullshyt ya’ll are willing to put up with for ass and titties b/c it ain’t #allwomen.

Solution: It won’t happen overnight and it’s a numbers game. But stick to your guns. Don’t pay if you don’t want to. Don’t do shyt that you don’t like doing. Some chicks will ghost but there ARE ones who will stick around and they will be the ones who like you for you. But if those aren’t the ones you desire, don’t blame all women for that.

Men are saying they don’t want to pay for dates because they are concerned that women are giving other men what they want for little to no effort.

Spoiler: Problem #2

The second issue is male entitlement, hypocrisy and delusion. I hate to break it to ya’ll but what a woman does when she isn’t with you isn’t your business. Because ya’ll ain’t a couple. This should be obvious shyt. And I get that it’s human to care and want the person you like to like you back. I completely understand. That’s not an unreasonable instinct to have. But you can’t lean into those impulses too soon early on in dating because you have no authority or claim on somebody that’s not yours. Hell you don’t even know if you actually like them or not. When nothing has been established, one sounds like a fool worrying about hypothetical dikk she taking and using that as an excuse to avoid dealing with the opposite sex.
Nothing in life works that way.

The worst part about it is the male hypocrisy. Men treat different women differently ALL THE DAMN TIME! They don’t give every woman the same access to themselves. You don’t marry every chick you encounter. You don’t simp for every chick you encounter. There are some chicks you’d risk it all for. And others that you’d laugh out of the room for even thinking they had a chance. There are some chicks you wouldn’t even take out in public and others you want to show off yo the world. Some chicks you pay for trips with. Paid for huge weddings for. Other chicks being treated like side pieces.

But somehow, while men do all of that, women are supposed to what? Fukk every guy she encounters whether she feeling some more than others?! You aren’t being rational. And if/when a woman takes a similar mentality “well you’d simp for Taylor Rooks, so you should do it for me too!” ya’ll say they are delusional. But then get flustered that Trey Songz might have an easier time pulling chicks for casual sex than you. News flash! Some people got the juice. The rest of us normals have to get to know people and form bonds and that isn’t a bad thing if you want something other than just sex. That shouldn’t be a source of resentment. Especially when YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE CHICK IS DOING!!!!

Ya’ll shook over hypothetical dikk that chicks you not even in relationships with may or may not be taking. Even as ya’ll treat women you want differently from those you feel so-so about too!

Solution: Stop worrying about shyt you can’t control. Whether you pay or not, you have no ground to stand on worrying about what she does unless there has been a mutual agreement of exclusivity. Until then, you are both free agents.

Men are saying they don’t want to pay for dates because they are concerned that women are giving other men what they want for little to no effort.

Spoiler: Problem #3

So this is already false because straight up real talk you don’t know WHAT she is doing. We addressed this silliness in problem #2. But even beyond that buffoonery, if you are so thirsty and hard up for p*ssy that any romantic gesture towards a chick you like makes you feel resentful if you don’t fukk her immediately, then you don’t need to be dating anyway. Please go get a prostitute because mentally you aren’t there. You dating from a deficit mindset. You got a hungry heart, a thirsty dikk, a desperate soul and that needs to be addressed before getting out there. And before anybody gets asshurt over me telling men this shyt, I believe the same things about women using men for dinner dates or asking men to pay bills days within knowing them. Get a job you bum!

The underlying problem I’m addressing is weirdos dating from a place of unmet needs and thus being unable to enjoy another person’s company for what it’s worth. If you looking to exchange pocket change for blow jobs, get a hooker. If you looking for a free meal, get a job. If you looking for an opportunity to post on the Gram, get a damn life. If you looking for anything other than an opportunity to meet somebody new and enjoy them as a human being, stay yo needy, weird ass at home.

Solution:
You so focused on what you want and what you can get from somebody that you can’t enjoy the process.
Take care of ur hierarchy of needs FIRST, whether it’s sex, finances, mental health, whatever…BEFORE dating. Otherwise, nobody is obligated to put up with the desperation. That’s not their problem. Somebody dying of thirst won’t be able to appreciate the nature of water beyond its ability to quench their thirst. Quench your thirst so you can appreciate the view of a lake. Take care of you so you don’t have to reduce whole entire human beings to objects of unmet needs within days of just meeting them. And so people ain’t gotta deal with the weirdness of those who are so desperate for p*ssy that they escalating to sex every three seconds and fukking up the vibe. Or awkwardly trying to get a man you just met pay a light bill on a coffee date.

This isn’t necessarily at you, but just addressing problems undergirding some of your statements. Regardless, as I told another poster, do what works for you. You aren’t obligated to pay anything for anyone and if that has been successful for you then continue. Results are going to vary for different people and that’s okay IMO. Personally, I don’t go through even a 1/4 of the shyt I see a lotta people talking about online. I’m high reading some of this stuff just quietly

Whatever path you choose, I wish you luck on it.
That the last serious response I got to this thread. Peace and happy future humping to all.

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

You can think that but it often comes to light.. women (and men) don't know how to keep they mouth shut and they are also horrible liars. And it's not just about you keeping your business on the low... it's about the other person you are dealing with. They get cut off and then they start running they mouth too.

Men are talking about you ten minutes after they fukk

Men are gossiping hoes whether you wanna believe that or not. But i think this is off topic. The way women move and whether they receive more than "wyd" is all related.

there is nothing to lie about tho...whether you have a jumpoff or had a bf/gf, doesn’t matter, people assume/know there is someone you had sex with before meeting them, what’s is there to lie about?


And It’s not, especially with the prevalence of online dating. There are tons of people on apps putting forth a low level of effort. “Wyd” and lack of conversation skills hits women of every caliber. Unless you run in the same circle, you literally know nothing about the other person except the 5 lines they wrote. If y’all exchange #’s and all he’s doing is “good morning” and “wyd” texts, you know what time he’s on and you move on. Even IRL you encounter men who aren’t looking for anything serious and come at everyone like that, especially when you’re young when most dudes ain’t nowhere near the settling down phase.

 

[Double Burger With Cheese]

I’m late as hell to this thread. I’m not reading all this shyt. Just came in to say I don’t text what you doing or wyd. I text what you on. Same shyt but it hit different. That’s all I have to add.

 

[RareHunter]

I don’t have an issue with men explaining their concerns about dating. I have an issue with the hypocrisy, irrationality and lack of accountability some men have when it comes to their dealings with some women.

Here’s the major point I’ve gathered from this thread and the issues I see with this mentality as my high kicks in.

Men are saying they don’t want to pay for dates because they are concerned that women are giving other men what they want for little to no effort.

Spoiler: Problem #1

First of all, these days there are a shyt ton of women doing shyt financially for men. There’s even a running joke about women paying to keep a man. So a man doesn’t and shouldn’t have to break himself financially in ways that aren’t reciprocated especially when they are just in the talking stages with a woman. But men need to take accountability for their choices in the women they choose to court. Because there are plenty of women who will do shyt for their men. Some doing more for men than the reverse. Pickmes abound these days.

But the issue is men choosing women that don’t like them and thinking that dropping bread will win these chicks over. Many will overlook a chick who’d give you the world, but crawl through glass for a chick that will have you paying for a meal she’ll go home and share with a bum nikka. That’s UR dikk making you mentally glitch when it comes to discernment. Don’t blame normal women for the bullshyt ya’ll are willing to put up with for ass and titties b/c it ain’t #allwomen.

Solution: It won’t happen overnight and it’s a numbers game. But stick to your guns. Don’t pay if you don’t want to. Don’t do shyt that you don’t like doing. Some chicks will ghost but there ARE ones who will stick around and they will be the ones who like you for you. But if those aren’t the ones you desire, don’t blame all women for that.

Men are saying they don’t want to pay for dates because they are concerned that women are giving other men what they want for little to no effort.

Spoiler: Problem #2

The second issue is male entitlement, hypocrisy and delusion. I hate to break it to ya’ll but what a woman does when she isn’t with you isn’t your business. Because ya’ll ain’t a couple. This should be obvious shyt. And I get that it’s human to care and want the person you like to like you back. I completely understand. That’s not an unreasonable instinct to have. But you can’t lean into those impulses too soon early on in dating because you have no authority or claim on somebody that’s not yours. Hell you don’t even know if you actually like them or not. When nothing has been established, one sounds like a fool worrying about hypothetical dikk she taking and using that as an excuse to avoid dealing with the opposite sex.
Nothing in life works that way.

The worst part about it is the male hypocrisy. Men treat different women differently ALL THE DAMN TIME! They don’t give every woman the same access to themselves. You don’t marry every chick you encounter. You don’t simp for every chick you encounter. There are some chicks you’d risk it all for. And others that you’d laugh out of the room for even thinking they had a chance. There are some chicks you wouldn’t even take out in public and others you want to show off yo the world. Some chicks you pay for trips with. Paid for huge weddings for. Other chicks being treated like side pieces.

But somehow, while men do all of that, women are supposed to what? Fukk every guy she encounters whether she feeling some more than others?! You aren’t being rational. And if/when a woman takes a similar mentality “well you’d simp for Taylor Rooks, so you should do it for me too!” ya’ll say they are delusional. But then get flustered that Trey Songz might have an easier time pulling chicks for casual sex than you. News flash! Some people got the juice. The rest of us normals have to get to know people and form bonds and that isn’t a bad thing if you want something other than just sex. That shouldn’t be a source of resentment. Especially when YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE CHICK IS DOING!!!!

Ya’ll shook over hypothetical dikk that chicks you not even in relationships with may or may not be taking. Even as ya’ll treat women you want differently from those you feel so-so about too!

Solution: Stop worrying about shyt you can’t control. Whether you pay or not, you have no ground to stand on worrying about what she does unless there has been a mutual agreement of exclusivity. Until then, you are both free agents.

Men are saying they don’t want to pay for dates because they are concerned that women are giving other men what they want for little to no effort.

Spoiler: Problem #3

So this is already false because straight up real talk you don’t know WHAT she is doing. We addressed this silliness in problem #2. But even beyond that buffoonery, if you are so thirsty and hard up for p*ssy that any romantic gesture towards a chick you like makes you feel resentful if you don’t fukk her immediately, then you don’t need to be dating anyway. Please go get a prostitute because mentally you aren’t there. You dating from a deficit mindset. You got a hungry heart, a thirsty dikk, a desperate soul and that needs to be addressed before getting out there. And before anybody gets asshurt over me telling men this shyt, I believe the same things about women using men for dinner dates or asking men to pay bills days within knowing them. Get a job you bum!

The underlying problem I’m addressing is weirdos dating from a place of unmet needs and thus being unable to enjoy another person’s company for what it’s worth. If you looking to exchange pocket change for blow jobs, get a hooker. If you looking for a free meal, get a job. If you looking for an opportunity to post on the Gram, get a damn life. If you looking for anything other than an opportunity to meet somebody new and enjoy them as a human being, stay yo needy, weird ass at home.

Solution:
You so focused on what you want and what you can get from somebody that you can’t enjoy the process.
Take care of ur hierarchy of needs FIRST, whether it’s sex, finances, mental health, whatever…BEFORE dating. Otherwise, nobody is obligated to put up with the desperation. That’s not their problem. Somebody dying of thirst won’t be able to appreciate the nature of water beyond its ability to quench their thirst. Quench your thirst so you can appreciate the view of a lake. Take care of you so you don’t have to reduce whole entire human beings to objects of unmet needs within days of just meeting them. And so people ain’t gotta deal with the weirdness of those who are so desperate for p*ssy that they escalating to sex every three seconds and fukking up the vibe. Or awkwardly trying to get a man you just met pay a light bill on a coffee date.

This isn’t necessarily at you, but just addressing problems undergirding some of your statements. Regardless, as I told another poster, do what works for you. You aren’t obligated to pay anything for anyone and if that has been successful for you then continue. Results are going to vary for different people and that’s okay IMO. Personally, I don’t go through even a 1/4 of the shyt I see a lotta people talking about online. I’m high reading some of this stuff just quietly

Whatever path you choose, I wish you luck on it.
That the last serious response I got to this thread. Peace and happy future humping to all.

Is your name booksnrain, because you’re a published author? Perhaps you write privacy policies and terms of service for companies?

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

Is your name booksnrain, because you’re a published author? Perhaps you write privacy policies and terms of service for companies?

I am published.