"No flowers, no planned dates, just “wyd” texts & 50/50"

[Kane1]

That's all they are worth...dates ain't it no mo

 

[MikelArteta]

Dudes waking up, everyone knows about simps etc. now

Dudes and chicks both juggling numerous people so if one doesn't work out

 

[Scaaar]

I don’t have an issue with men explaining their concerns about dating. I have an issue with the hypocrisy, irrationality and lack of accountability some men have when it comes to their dealings with some women.

Here’s the major point I’ve gathered from this thread and the issues I see with this mentality as my high kicks in.

Men are saying they don’t want to pay for dates because they are concerned that women are giving other men what they want for little to no effort.

Spoiler: Problem #1

First of all, these days there are a shyt ton of women doing shyt financially for men. There’s even a running joke about women paying to keep a man. So a man doesn’t and shouldn’t have to break himself financially in ways that aren’t reciprocated especially when they are just in the talking stages with a woman. But men need to take accountability for their choices in the women they choose to court. Because there are plenty of women who will do shyt for their men. Some doing more for men than the reverse. Pickmes abound these days.

But the issue is men choosing women that don’t like them and thinking that dropping bread will win these chicks over. Many will overlook a chick who’d give you the world, but crawl through glass for a chick that will have you paying for a meal she’ll go home and share with a bum nikka. That’s UR dikk making you mentally glitch when it comes to discernment. Don’t blame normal women for the bullshyt ya’ll are willing to put up with for ass and titties b/c it ain’t #allwomen.

Solution: It won’t happen overnight and it’s a numbers game. But stick to your guns. Don’t pay if you don’t want to. Don’t do shyt that you don’t like doing. Some chicks will ghost but there ARE ones who will stick around and they will be the ones who like you for you. But if those aren’t the ones you desire, don’t blame all women for that.

Men are saying they don’t want to pay for dates because they are concerned that women are giving other men what they want for little to no effort.

Spoiler: Problem #2

The second issue is male entitlement, hypocrisy and delusion. I hate to break it to ya’ll but what a woman does when she isn’t with you isn’t your business. Because ya’ll ain’t a couple. This should be obvious shyt. And I get that it’s human to care and want the person you like to like you back. I completely understand. That’s not an unreasonable instinct to have. But you can’t lean into those impulses too soon early on in dating because you have no authority or claim on somebody that’s not yours. Hell you don’t even know if you actually like them or not. When nothing has been established, one sounds like a fool worrying about hypothetical dikk she taking and using that as an excuse to avoid dealing with the opposite sex.
Nothing in life works that way.

The worst part about it is the male hypocrisy. Men treat different women differently ALL THE DAMN TIME! They don’t give every woman the same access to themselves. You don’t marry every chick you encounter. You don’t simp for every chick you encounter. There are some chicks you’d risk it all for. And others that you’d laugh out of the room for even thinking they had a chance. There are some chicks you wouldn’t even take out in public and others you want to show off yo the world. Some chicks you pay for trips with. Paid for huge weddings for. Other chicks being treated like side pieces.

But somehow, while men do all of that, women are supposed to what? Fukk every guy she encounters whether she feeling some more than others?! You aren’t being rational. And if/when a woman takes a similar mentality “well you’d simp for Taylor Rooks, so you should do it for me too!” ya’ll say they are delusional. But then get flustered that Trey Songz might have an easier time pulling chicks for casual sex than you. News flash! Some people got the juice. The rest of us normals have to get to know people and form bonds and that isn’t a bad thing if you want something other than just sex. That shouldn’t be a source of resentment. Especially when YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE CHICK IS DOING!!!!

Ya’ll shook over hypothetical dikk that chicks you not even in relationships with may or may not be taking. Even as ya’ll treat women you want differently from those you feel so-so about too!

Solution: Stop worrying about shyt you can’t control. Whether you pay or not, you have no ground to stand on worrying about what she does unless there has been a mutual agreement of exclusivity. Until then, you are both free agents.

Men are saying they don’t want to pay for dates because they are concerned that women are giving other men what they want for little to no effort.

Spoiler: Problem #3

So this is already false because straight up real talk you don’t know WHAT she is doing. We addressed this silliness in problem #2. But even beyond that buffoonery, if you are so thirsty and hard up for p*ssy that any romantic gesture towards a chick you like makes you feel resentful if you don’t fukk her immediately, then you don’t need to be dating anyway. Please go get a prostitute because mentally you aren’t there. You dating from a deficit mindset. You got a hungry heart, a thirsty dikk, a desperate soul and that needs to be addressed before getting out there. And before anybody gets asshurt over me telling men this shyt, I believe the same things about women using men for dinner dates or asking men to pay bills days within knowing them. Get a job you bum!

The underlying problem I’m addressing is weirdos dating from a place of unmet needs and thus being unable to enjoy another person’s company for what it’s worth. If you looking to exchange pocket change for blow jobs, get a hooker. If you looking for a free meal, get a job. If you looking for an opportunity to post on the Gram, get a damn life. If you looking for anything other than an opportunity to meet somebody new and enjoy them as a human being, stay yo needy, weird ass at home.

Solution:
You so focused on what you want and what you can get from somebody that you can’t enjoy the process.
Take care of ur hierarchy of needs FIRST, whether it’s sex, finances, mental health, whatever…BEFORE dating. Otherwise, nobody is obligated to put up with the desperation. That’s not their problem. Somebody dying of thirst won’t be able to appreciate the nature of water beyond its ability to quench their thirst. Quench your thirst so you can appreciate the view of a lake. Take care of you so you don’t have to reduce whole entire human beings to objects of unmet needs within days of just meeting them. And so people ain’t gotta deal with the weirdness of those who are so desperate for p*ssy that they escalating to sex every three seconds and fukking up the vibe. Or awkwardly trying to get a man you just met pay a light bill on a coffee date.

This isn’t necessarily at you, but just addressing problems undergirding some of your statements. Regardless, as I told another poster, do what works for you. You aren’t obligated to pay anything for anyone and if that has been successful for you then continue. Results are going to vary for different people and that’s okay IMO. Personally, I don’t go through even a 1/4 of the shyt I see a lotta people talking about online. I’m high reading some of this stuff just quietly

Whatever path you choose, I wish you luck on it.
That the last serious response I got to this thread. Peace and happy future humping to all.

You just described the red pill people in one paragraph. They're out here chasing the bad b*tch and trying to make an honest woman out of them and get upset when they get played or they don't follow the script. They to just get them an honest woman or a sex robot because with all of these emotions they giving off it's obvious that they're not built for anything else

 

[GhettoTeK]

Women brought it on themselves and are unrealistic I’ll say certain chicks because I get dates a lot of low quality women are entitled. Men aren’t dumb they look at character too

 

[Apollo Creed]

These new age brehs be pumping out more feminine energy than the females these days. I'm just sitting here reading and wondering who hurt them...

breh these kids were raised by single mothers what did yall think was going to happen?

 

[GnauzBookOfRhymes]

It’s in this generation too. I personally feel like girls on social media play up their dating problems to be relatable.

Maybe I’m blessed, but guys are doing these things today.

Some women are oblivious to the connection that is right in front of them. The social media obsessed are the ones with all of the dating problems. It doesn't get talked about as much bc social media driven conversations will always dominate, even if those issues pertain/affect a smaller percentage of people, but the youth today are actually way more into longer term relationships and settling down earlier than previous generations.

 

[JQ Legend]

I don’t have an issue with men explaining their concerns about dating. I have an issue with the hypocrisy, irrationality and lack of accountability some men have when it comes to their dealings with some women.

Here’s the major point I’ve gathered from this thread and the issues I see with this mentality as my high kicks in.

Men are saying they don’t want to pay for dates because they are concerned that women are giving other men what they want for little to no effort.

Spoiler: Problem #1

First of all, these days there are a shyt ton of women doing shyt financially for men. There’s even a running joke about women paying to keep a man. So a man doesn’t and shouldn’t have to break himself financially in ways that aren’t reciprocated especially when they are just in the talking stages with a woman. But men need to take accountability for their choices in the women they choose to court. Because there are plenty of women who will do shyt for their men. Some doing more for men than the reverse. Pickmes abound these days.

But the issue is men choosing women that don’t like them and thinking that dropping bread will win these chicks over. Many will overlook a chick who’d give you the world, but crawl through glass for a chick that will have you paying for a meal she’ll go home and share with a bum nikka. That’s UR dikk making you mentally glitch when it comes to discernment. Don’t blame normal women for the bullshyt ya’ll are willing to put up with for ass and titties b/c it ain’t #allwomen.

Solution: It won’t happen overnight and it’s a numbers game. But stick to your guns. Don’t pay if you don’t want to. Don’t do shyt that you don’t like doing. Some chicks will ghost but there ARE ones who will stick around and they will be the ones who like you for you. But if those aren’t the ones you desire, don’t blame all women for that.

Men are saying they don’t want to pay for dates because they are concerned that women are giving other men what they want for little to no effort.

Spoiler: Problem #2

The second issue is male entitlement, hypocrisy and delusion. I hate to break it to ya’ll but what a woman does when she isn’t with you isn’t your business. Because ya’ll ain’t a couple. This should be obvious shyt. And I get that it’s human to care and want the person you like to like you back. I completely understand. That’s not an unreasonable instinct to have. But you can’t lean into those impulses too soon early on in dating because you have no authority or claim on somebody that’s not yours. Hell you don’t even know if you actually like them or not. When nothing has been established, one sounds like a fool worrying about hypothetical dikk she taking and using that as an excuse to avoid dealing with the opposite sex.
Nothing in life works that way.

The worst part about it is the male hypocrisy. Men treat different women differently ALL THE DAMN TIME! They don’t give every woman the same access to themselves. You don’t marry every chick you encounter. You don’t simp for every chick you encounter. There are some chicks you’d risk it all for. And others that you’d laugh out of the room for even thinking they had a chance. There are some chicks you wouldn’t even take out in public and others you want to show off yo the world. Some chicks you pay for trips with. Paid for huge weddings for. Other chicks being treated like side pieces.

But somehow, while men do all of that, women are supposed to what? Fukk every guy she encounters whether she feeling some more than others?! You aren’t being rational. And if/when a woman takes a similar mentality “well you’d simp for Taylor Rooks, so you should do it for me too!” ya’ll say they are delusional. But then get flustered that Trey Songz might have an easier time pulling chicks for casual sex than you. News flash! Some people got the juice. The rest of us normals have to get to know people and form bonds and that isn’t a bad thing if you want something other than just sex. That shouldn’t be a source of resentment. Especially when YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE CHICK IS DOING!!!!

Ya’ll shook over hypothetical dikk that chicks you not even in relationships with may or may not be taking. Even as ya’ll treat women you want differently from those you feel so-so about too!

Solution: Stop worrying about shyt you can’t control. Whether you pay or not, you have no ground to stand on worrying about what she does unless there has been a mutual agreement of exclusivity. Until then, you are both free agents.

Men are saying they don’t want to pay for dates because they are concerned that women are giving other men what they want for little to no effort.

Spoiler: Problem #3

So this is already false because straight up real talk you don’t know WHAT she is doing. We addressed this silliness in problem #2. But even beyond that buffoonery, if you are so thirsty and hard up for p*ssy that any romantic gesture towards a chick you like makes you feel resentful if you don’t fukk her immediately, then you don’t need to be dating anyway. Please go get a prostitute because mentally you aren’t there. You dating from a deficit mindset. You got a hungry heart, a thirsty dikk, a desperate soul and that needs to be addressed before getting out there. And before anybody gets asshurt over me telling men this shyt, I believe the same things about women using men for dinner dates or asking men to pay bills days within knowing them. Get a job you bum!

The underlying problem I’m addressing is weirdos dating from a place of unmet needs and thus being unable to enjoy another person’s company for what it’s worth. If you looking to exchange pocket change for blow jobs, get a hooker. If you looking for a free meal, get a job. If you looking for an opportunity to post on the Gram, get a damn life. If you looking for anything other than an opportunity to meet somebody new and enjoy them as a human being, stay yo needy, weird ass at home.

Solution:
You so focused on what you want and what you can get from somebody that you can’t enjoy the process.
Take care of ur hierarchy of needs FIRST, whether it’s sex, finances, mental health, whatever…BEFORE dating. Otherwise, nobody is obligated to put up with the desperation. That’s not their problem. Somebody dying of thirst won’t be able to appreciate the nature of water beyond its ability to quench their thirst. Quench your thirst so you can appreciate the view of a lake. Take care of you so you don’t have to reduce whole entire human beings to objects of unmet needs within days of just meeting them. And so people ain’t gotta deal with the weirdness of those who are so desperate for p*ssy that they escalating to sex every three seconds and fukking up the vibe. Or awkwardly trying to get a man you just met pay a light bill on a coffee date.

This isn’t necessarily at you, but just addressing problems undergirding some of your statements. Regardless, as I told another poster, do what works for you. You aren’t obligated to pay anything for anyone and if that has been successful for you then continue. Results are going to vary for different people and that’s okay IMO. Personally, I don’t go through even a 1/4 of the shyt I see a lotta people talking about online. I’m high reading some of this stuff just quietly

Whatever path you choose, I wish you luck on it.
That the last serious response I got to this thread. Peace and happy future humping to all.

I can respect this post

I think you’re placing way too much emphasis on the idea men don’t wanna pay for a date because of who shorty may or may not be fukking tho. It’s more so the idea of paying for a date with someone you might not even see again. That’s happened to us before and now we like with all that. We don’t care bout paying for a date, we don’t care bout not seeing her again but when you combine the 2 together it becomes a problem.

Then there’s the hypocrisy of wanting to be “independent” and “equal” when it’s convenient but return to gender roles when it suits you. I can agree us males can be hypocritical at times, can you admit the same, particularly when it comes to this?

If there wasn’t so much pressure on a man to be the one who pays and act like this hypocrisy doesn’t exist this wouldn’t be an issue in the first place.

Also, far as worrying bout what she does with another man or if she’s fukking other dudes while she’s in the early stages with another man, we only care bout that when we really like shorty. I get what u saying bout dating multiple people at a time till u find one u wanna be with but no man is gone be cool with the idea that his woman that he got feelings for was getting smashed by another man at ANY point after meeting him. MAYBE if they met online he won’t care as much bout what she was doing before that first in person meeting but after that, that shyt is a no go.

I do agree with some of your points tho, and that water/lake analogy was on point

Edit:

Another thing I agree on that you said earlier, the aforementioned thing bout not paying for dates because of not seeing her again and a lot of problems in general tend to be related to online dating. When y’all meet in person as opposed to online that won’t be as much of a problem as y’all have already established some sort of real life rapport beforehand.

 

[JQ Legend]

People generally are bad at empathizes with other people or seeing reality vs what they think reality should be
It’s always helpful to understand what they other side is thinking even if you disagree

I will say tho that I find most women generally incapable of empathy towards men unless those men are gay or their very close friends
There’s a whole host of reasons why (patriarchy, past experiences, believing men to be emotionless robots, misandry etc.) but that’s my observation

The opposite is true obviously but when men express themselves both men and women tend to be like “ shut up fakkit“

Ayoooooo

 

[Sad Bunny]

Plat Plat only

 

[JQ Legend]

It's definitely some insecure brehs on here so focused on the next man they can't even enjoy their time on the ride

And that's the issue. These young brehs that were raised in social media be leading more with their emotions than the females do these days. Their reasoning is all over the place so much that it only makes sense to them.

I told you these new age brehs are missing a screw or two...

Damn you pandering hard for some Coli cheeks

 

[NoirDynosaur]

Woah, mad text in this thread.

I just hit up chicks on some regular shyt "how's ur day going". We either link up or we plan.

The simpler, the better.

 

[Scaaar]

Damn you pandering hard for some Coli cheeks

Nah just calling it how I see it. It's billions of women out here and these brehs in here whining over a small batch of them...

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

I can respect this post

I think you’re placing way too much emphasis on the idea men don’t wanna pay for a date because of who shorty may or may not be fukking. It’s more so the idea of paying for a date with someone you might not even see again. That’s happened to us before and now we like with all that. We don’t care bout paying for a date, we don’t care bout not seeing her again but when you combine the 2 together it becomes a problem.

Then there’s the hypocrisy of wanting to be “independent” and “equal” when it’s convenient but return to gender roles when it suits you. I can agree us males can be hypocritical at times, can you admit the same, particularly when it comes to this?

If there wasn’t so much pressure on a man to be the one who pays and act like this hypocrisy doesn’t exist this wouldn’t be an issue in the first place.

Also, far as worrying bout what she does with another man or if she’s fukking other dudes while she’s in the early stages with another man, we only care bout that when we really like shorty. I get what u saying bout dating multiple people at a time till u find one u wanna be with but no man is gone be cool with the idea that his woman that he got feelings for was getting smashed by another man at ANY point after meeting him. MAYBE if they met online he won’t care as much bout what she was doing before that first in person meeting but after that, that shyt is a no go.

I do agree with some of your points tho, and that water/lake analogy was on point

Edit:

Another thing I agree on that you said earlier, the aforementioned thing bout not paying for dates because of not seeing her again and a lot of problems in general tend to be related to online dating. When y’all meet in person as opposed to online that won’t be as much of a problem as y’all have already established some sort of real life rapport beforehand.

Yeah it’s just unnecessarily complicated for no reason. Using people for sex or money and calling that “dating” is lame.

I don’t mind dudes being frugal b/c honestly in normal interactions it’s not really about a pay to play situation anyway.
As for the Equal vs independent stuff, I guess I don’t understand how these ideas are irreconcilable.
I know men who are bakers. Legit French pastry puff, got a special torch for creme brûlée dudes. But just because he can independently do that shyt, doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate it if I cook for them. I dunno how some men don’t get that.

Women demonstrating their capability doesn’t make being given stuff irrelevant, any more than being able to walk making getting ride unappreciated. I’m personally not wealthy but I do okay. I can get my own coffee but it still puts a smile on my face when my research leader brings me a sugar-free almond milk latte if we work on a grant. And I might grab him something another day even tho I know he’s able to feed himself.

I honestly never really got this logic. Gifts are nice not because you wouldn’t be able to buy it yourself but because somebody was thinking about you. I do nice things for capable people all the time. And people do nice things for me too.

To date, other than dudes online, I’ve never encountered somebody implying that I shouldn’t want or accept something just because I’m able to do it too.

So I’ve never understood that logic. Otherwise, My issue is with using people. When guys complain about women trying to use them for clout, or free food, I actually agree with them because that’s just wack. Especially in this economy. But I’m also not down with dudes trying to use chicks for sex especially when many of the same dudes also insult women for having sex.

But regardless of all that, i just want people to get their shyt together and stop being fukking weird. Because dating ain’t gotta be this big crazy mess. It’s literally JUST meeting somebody to see where it goes. That’s all. Anything else people attaching to it is ridiculous.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

Damn you pandering hard for some Coli cheeks

Can we stop this? Not every man that agrees with what a woman says is a panderer or trolling for p*ssy.

Dudes on this site always do this as a way to shame posters out of agreeing with perfectly reasonable shyt, just because it came out of the mouth of a woman.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

You just described the red pill people in one paragraph. They're out here chasing the bad b*tch and trying to make an honest woman out of them and get upset when they get played or they don't follow the script. They to just get them an honest woman or a sex robot because with all of these emotions they giving off it's obvious that they're not built for anything else

Yep. It’s unfortunate b/c they look at these Twitter hot takes and use them as excuses to avoid dealing with the opposite sex. Some stay online looking for shyt to get angry about. $300 dates. All women cheating. Women fukkin other dudes but ain’t fukking them. They just lose themselves in hypotheticals to justify ascribing to these online pill prescriptions. But the real deal is a lotta of this stuff ain’t even about aint shyt people. Not saying “ain’t shyt” chicks don’t exist. But these issues are bigger than that because normal people know how to manueuver around aint shytness or abort mission with no real harm if they do encounter these types. But nah. It’s about anxiety and fear of rejection.

I keep saying, many people don’t even have FRIENDS. Much less romantic partners. And that’s some real shyt.