The whole point is that I'm putting in a lot of effort to be with her, but not even having much sex early on. While a bun dude who may or not give a fukk gets to fukk.
You know that most of the time, the man has to spend the money on the date. Plan the date. And overall drive the relationship early on. Be the confident one, the conversationalist. The responsibility is on me.
What am I getting out of that? If I'm not even getting the same level of upkeep let alone sex?
does it matter? if you actually want to be with her, you'll be fine having sex on the third date or third month. nothing is stopping you from smashing someone you don't want to be with in the interim...edit: if there weren't so many double standards about sex and so many men who hit and quit, a woman who is seriously interested might feel comfortable putting out early, but that's not the message that's engrained in us - we're taught to wait when we want a man to take us seriously, so again, if you like the chick, doesn't matter if you have to wait, she's likely doing that as a way to feel secure about having sex with you and what will come of that
um, no. again, not sure who yall are dealing with, but yes, outside the first date, there should be effort from both sides. i've never just sat around waiting for a man to decide everything. and i usually pay for stuff by date 2/3 if i'm feeling him, a chick with her shyt together and interested in you should have no problem planning or paying for something. and conversationalist? it takes two people to have conversations...
yall complain just like silly women. again, maybe you should date better/more interesting/better established women