Why do y’all have these self defeatist, negative views of dating/romance? Y’all truly are a generation of “who hurt you”
I’ve never lived my life expecting the worst of people. This seems terrible
I'll explain to you Devolution.
You're a woman.
More than likely you do not approach men and ask them out.
Women are allowed to be more passive in a relationship because men still need to lead the relationship. They also do not deal with rejection the way men are supposed to.
I'm not saying it's bad but a man must put more energy and effort into the relationship than women. But it's only true on paper. Players learn that the ideal situation calls for a man to invest less effort to get a woman hooked during the talking/attraction stage. Essentially, women are human. They get nervous and try to win a man over just like we do with them. Since men must be the more aggressive party when talking, especially at the beginning, we tend to overcompensate by being try hard.
This leads to:
1. Woman that was digging you no longer does.
2. Woman you were trying to convince to give you a shot gets turned off even further.
The better a man gets with women the more he entertains. He gets options and multiple women. More women means more investment. More investment means more money and time spent. Therefore as he gets better with women he learns to save his money. Investment requires a special kind of woman.
Another thing happens as you get better with women. You find patterns. Women are much more socially intelligent and aware than men. Therefore, it takes dozens of women for a man to learn to separate between a woman with Medium to high interest from a woman with low interest that we have to "convince". Often the woman with low interest is merely tolerating you and not genuinely interested.
Through all of this pattern acknowledgement men separate women that:
A. Waste time
B. Manipulate
C. Want something out of you
D. Are interested but need some convincing
E. Have high interest
F. Is someone that is only good for sex
G. Is wife worthy
Through all of this he learns to go down the easiest path to least resistance and how to deal with each one.
has nothing to do with "who hurt you". It has everything to do with learning which women are worth investing time and energy into and acting accordingly. Think of it like a video game. In video games there's a terminology called "min-maxing". Minimum effort for maximum reward. You're simply relying on what works in terms of attraction. You cannot negotiate attraction, and therefore a man with experience knows that women will absolutely break some of their usual rules for the man she likes. This isn't out of bitterness, it's out of personal experience. Of course, good women still have protection and won't give up everything. But she's far more likely to flirt and be playful with you if she likes you than another guy she's dry towards. What that poster posted was straight facts and for whatever reason you negated his point, and it flew across your head like a carrion headed for a snack.