PARANOID shyt you do in real life that people may find weird or funny

[intruder]

That turning the phone off thing is not a bad idea

I don’t small talk with strangers at all, not unless it’s to tell me my shoe is untied or some shyt...so many people probably think I’m rude, but I don’t trussit, what’s your angle?

I heard that's particularly true of New Yorkers. Is that where you're from?

I learned this from my friends who are from NY who have moved here (Atlanta). They often talk about how it's weird to them that random strangers would say good morning to them out of nowhere. Some would even start a conversation sometimes. Apparently New Yorkers dont talk to each other unless they know each other. But people in Atlanta will do that. Random stranger comes up to you and says good morning and start a friendly convo and you're looking at them like

 

[Zero]

I can't stand directly under something that has some weight to it that I think might fall. Like...the security monitors in a store when you walk in, for example.

I still close the door when using the bathroom even if I'm the only one in the house.

 

[Hannibal Fox]

I know some of you are walking around with aluminum foil under your hats. And i get it. I do some weird shyt too. My friend came over last night and she laughed when she noticed i turn my phone off when talking about certain things.
I do it because i know Facebook and Google listen in on conversations. I already proved it once.
And yeah I used to be one of those people that placed a piece of tape on my laptop's camera. They watching

• My latest one is when i do a screen-share at work with a coworker, once we are done i dont just end the screen-share. I kill the application i was doing it with (TEAMS or SKYPE BUSINESS) to make sure it's not still sharing before i log onto the coli and some NSFW shyt pops up.
• All my life ive never taken the same route home 3 days in a row. Got that from my dad.
• Before i go to sleep i walk around the house and make sure my front and back door are locked. Sometimes i unlock it and lock it back up.
• I rarely sleep with my bedroom door unlocked. Even tho I live alone. I even did this as a teenager which used to annoy my parents.

Add on

I do this got it from my parents although I never take the same route home twice, I've taken this to absurd levels actually due to one of my old jobs which was high risk

 

[intruder]

Sometimes i park my car. Lock it and walk away. And as im walking away i press the remote again several times to make sure it's locked. My fear is sometimes i may put it in my pocket and the button get pressed mistakenly and either unlocks it or pops the trunk open.
Problem with that is sometimes i go to places and do that and people who are sitting or standing near the car take offense to it

 

[Gold]

I dont open cans fully.

People find it weird, this is understandable. It is weird

 

[Pazzy]

where do I start? I'm the most paranoid person that I know and I've always been like that far as long as I could remember. I'd have to give you my life story if I said everything that I've done and do.

 

[Take It In Blood]

I have no idea what my boogers taste like officer

 

[Booker T Garvey]

I heard that's particularly true of New Yorkers. Is that where you're from?

I learned this from my friends who are from NY who have moved here (Atlanta). They often talk about how it's weird to them that random strangers would say good morning to them out of nowhere. Some would even start a conversation sometimes. Apparently New Yorkers dont talk to each other unless they know each other. But people in Atlanta will do that. Random stranger comes up to you and says good morning and start a friendly convo and you're looking at them like

nah i'm not from NYC but damn man, I don't mind if people tell me good morning

it's just when they start "yeah...nice weather we're having!" shyt...nah man, that's psycho shyt to me

 

[MoveForward]

Problem with that is sometimes i go to places and do that and people who are sitting or standing near the car take offense to it

That's not funny... It's rude

 

[HTXBreh]

I'm constantly washing my hands and using hand sanitizer

 

[intruder]

nah i'm not from NYC but damn man, I don't mind if people tell me good morning

it's just when they start "yeah...nice weather we're having!" shyt...nah man, that's psycho shyt to me

have a lot of friends who are new yorkers and damn near every one of them has had that conversation with me on some "You ever notice how you'l lbe walking past people and they'll look at you in the eye and say 'good morning'? Like What the fukk? Complete strangers saying good morning and making eye contact and shyt." "
WHich is hilarious. Even my girl (Guyanese but grew up in Brooklyn) be telling me this shyt. I be like "does it really bother you that much?" THis other NY chick i be fukking is COsta Rican. Every now and then she'll come to town and say the say shyt like "I mean i know people here are naturally friendly but it's weird when random person comes up to you and say good morning. Like how do you deal with this?"

That's not funny... It's rude

But the problem is they are mistaking my paranoia for something else. It aint my fault if they interpret my actions like im afraid they'd be stealing or something.

 

[Clay Puppington]

My nikka. I'm checking for EVERYTHING I came with before I leave.


I can't eat with my glasses on. Just can't do it

Making sure the stove and oven is off before I leave the kitchen knowing damn well I haven't cooked anything yet.

Phone in my hand and I'm looking for it

 

[CreepyMcCreeperson]

I always run the match under the faucet after blowing it out JUST in case.

If I get food at a food court, or somewhere with a tray, I always get 3-4 forks, spoons, and extra napkins in case I drop one on the floor.

I only look at porn on my phone, and never on my laptop or tablet. Can’t have that filth on my computer. I’m not trying to get a virus.

I never sleep naked, in case I have to run out in the middle of the night due to fire or emergency

 

[WesCrook]

Pat my pockets when someone walks past me or after approaching me about something....every, single, time.

Fixed for me

 

[Rancor]

I always make sure my doors are locked and that my keys are with me. I don't like keeping a spare key outside somewhere like I know some people do. That would imply I'd have to put it there in the first place and who knows who was watching me when I did that. It always baffled me as a kid watching sitcoms where their neighbors would just walk right in the house and start blabbing about something. Not on my watch, yo ass better call first before you come over and then you better ring the doorbell and announce yourself.