People who have dealt with tough breakups...

[NkrumahWasRight Is Wrong]

We had an argument Wednesday night, that wasn't different from many arguments we had before. Some low blows were taken, initially by her but I stooped to that level. Mostly her taking shots at me being a crappy father (no basis), a crappy partner (plenty of base), and a bad person (dont think I am but that's her perception)...

She goes really low with these things, and this time, even though I talked shyt back, the aftermath presented a different feeling. There is nothing left in the tank for her, first time I was able to honestly say that to myself...



Good looks, bruh. I'm focused, energized for the upcoming journey, and have always maintained that both our lives will improve drastically when we aren't in the same home together. Really believe that, its navigating the tension and negative energy that makes it tough...

Had a similar situation..living with a gf i broke up with

I got over it in the exact same scenario as you

Instead of trying to be ok with it or put it past me..i just thought to myself...you know what? fukk this (with an actual attached)

Just nope. fukk it

 

[GnauzBookOfRhymes]

Man I couldn’t leave kids no matter how fukkd up the relationship. Try and find something local breh

 

[Carlton Banks]

Went thru pretty much the same thing in 2016. Was living with my ex, we broke up, still lived together for a few months cuz of finances. Eventually went our separate ways. She had an 11 year old son and me and him were pretty close so it was like losing a son/lil brother.

I was such a fukking simp back then. I don't think I was ever really in love with her either. She was just the first girl that gave me play after I came out of a bit of a depression. But she was toxic as hell. That relationship turned me red pill for the better. I had a lot of resentment and anger cuz I moved for her, switched jobs for her, put all her needs before my own which set me back on a lot of stuff.

Anyways, Alpha Male Strategies videos helped me fix my mentality to never get to that simp level again and to stay on my purpose. My ex turned me to a cold selfish mfer and guess what, that seems to attract more women. It is what it is.

 

[bourgeoisie tall freak]

damn you should keep trying for the family. this shyt used to happen all the time a few decades ago and people still stuck together

shyts weak these days

i lived with an ex (no kids involved). we were always great friends though so it wasn't that bad. we lived in our former house after breaking up. he still tried to be with me for a little while, then he gave up and i was his wing man a few times. then we moved into another rental together lol. eventually we parted ways, but recently he moved in my house. lol, that's my best friend

 

[Michael's Black Son]

Leave.

don’t even take the shyt you don’t need. You can always buy stuff.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

I think she's thinking about child support, I think she's already looked into it and definitely I know she's being given advice from friends and family to put me on it...

What she's told me though, is that she wouldn't put me on it, because she believes that assistance should only be for parents unwilling to financially contribute to their children...

Do I believe that? Nah not totally, I hope she keeps her word but I have plenty of doubt on that...

I definitely agree with everyone saying it's better to have peace of mind over staying with someone. I missed that window multiple times over that we were actually together, but right now it's like I can see the finish line in the distance, let's make the smartest move for the near future (impending official physical split in 6 months), finally make A smart move after a relationship fulla dumb ones...

How did your son respond to not seeing his dad most of the year? Does dad call often? Was there ever any struggle about not living with dad?

@Crizzy maybe you can answer this too, regarding your kids post split with their mom. I'm absolutely terrified that it'll be harder to bond with my daughters, and that they will be shaped to view me as an absentee father. Terrified of that thought...

He face times with his dad often throughout the week. But nah it doesn’t make up for time loss. His bond with me is stronger than with his dad. There was never any struggle from my son about not living with his dad. But it’s been hard on his dad.

 

[knickscrusaderm]

The black family

 

[murksiderock]

Damn breh. Ima pray for you

Unfortunately, I’m starting to feel that I’m trending in the same direction. The worst part is that we moved literally across the country so I fear we’re both tryna make it work because of the move that we just made. The shyt is difficult af we literally in two different room overs a dumb ass argument that happened a couple hours ago smh.

like I said, I hope you figure it out. And I hope I do too smh

Hope you figure it out. I have it figured out mostly, the biggest issue is decreasing the tension for the remainder of our time here...

Had a similar situation..living with a gf i broke up with

I got over it in the exact same scenario as you

Instead of trying to be ok with it or put it past me..i just thought to myself...you know what? fukk this (with an actual attached)

Just nope. fukk it

First time I could be honest with myself and say I'm completely through. And it feels good...

Man I couldn’t leave kids no matter how fukkd up the relationship. Try and find something local breh

Part of leaving our current locale (Raleigh) is that neither of us particularly like it here. She already commutes an hour to her job in Burlington, so she's moving to either there or Chapel Hill at the end of the lease--->Chapel Hill would cut the commute in half to about a half hour, and she likes it better than Burlington, so she's trying to decide exactly where she's going...

For me, since I know I'm leaving Raleigh, it would be making a decision to move to Burlington or Chapel Hill in a separate place or go elsewhere. Answer is elsewhere, I'm about 90% sold I'm heading back to Charlotte, where I've lived before and left 5 years ago. I flirted around with going back to Virginia, but logistically I don't think it's the best decision to be 4 hours from my children. When we came back to NC I wanted to come back to Charlotte then, but she's afraid of Charlotte and as with many other things, I deferred to her on where we would go...

So looking local isn't in the cards, and you know how it is after you break up, that feeling of getting your life back? I do kinda feel like I'm about to get parts of my life back, my spirit back, when we split. Going back to Charlotte is gonna be a part of that healing for me...

damn you should keep trying for the family. this shyt used to happen all the time a few decades ago and people still stuck together

shyts weak these days

i lived with an ex (no kids involved). we were always great friends though so it wasn't that bad. we lived in our former house after breaking up. he still tried to be with me for a little while, then he gave up and i was his wing man a few times. then we moved into another rental together lol. eventually we parted ways, but recently he moved in my house. lol, that's my best friend

I thought you were a guy this whole time I been on here lol...

We're past the point of sticking it out, we've been cohabiting since July, so we've tried the sticking out part already...

I think in any era I'm the kind of spirit that would reach a point where it's no longer beneficial to try working it out!

He face times with his dad often throughout the week. But nah it doesn’t make up for time loss. His bond with me is stronger than with his dad. There was never any struggle from my son about not living with his dad. But it’s been hard on his dad.

Is that why he's coming here, to be closer to his son? I think I'll be able to dodge that feeling of distance mostly, being only two hours away means in theory I'll be able to go see the girls whenever my time allows...

I do get how it can be difficult not seeing your child every day, and that's the toughest part of the entire thing to me!

 

[Dafunkdoc_Unlimited]

Tough thing, break-ups. Anyhow, protect yourself, financially. Consider yourself on child support and keep receipts for EVERYTHING. Document EVERYTHING you do with/for your children. Get a banker's box and some folders and keep ALL that stuff organized. E-mails, text messages,etc.​

Hopefully you won't need it, but it's better to prepare for the worst.

Good luck and keep making mature decisions for your own well-being.​

 

[murksiderock]

Tough thing, break-ups. Anyhow, protect yourself, financially. Consider yourself on child support and keep receipts for EVERYTHING. Document EVERYTHING you do with/for your children. Get a banker's box and some folders and keep ALL that stuff organized. E-mails, text messages,etc.​

Hopefully you won't need it, but it's better to prepare for the worst.

Good luck and keep making mature decisions for your own well-being.​

Yeah I'm already doing that, not hard copies, but I have digital copies of all the money I've given her since the breakup in July...

 

[karim]

Yeah I could leave, but see my posts above!

And this one has been building for a long, long time...



We were broken up and I was in Atlanta in June 2016, she drove to Atlanta from Virginia to come tell me she was pregnant with our first daughter. Thought she wanted one last booty call, turned out to be a pregnancy announcement...

I was working in Vermont in January 2018 when she told me she was pregnant again. Supposedly she was on birth control the months prior, si that wasn't expected either...

I was never in love with her. I developed a love for her based on superficial camaraderie, that love grew with the addition of children, but never saw a long term future with her, never felt like I wanted to give the world to her. I was never in love with her...

 

[T.H.E. Goat]

Worse thing I did was live with my ex after we broke up


She was bringing her new boo home and fukking him while I was sleeping on the couch

 

[Numpsay]

No matter what she says now, she can always turn into the bitter baby momma.

From someone that has had to suffer through that I'd say do as much as you can to avoid going to court. You have more rights without involving them.

 

[JOHN.KOOL]

damn you should keep trying for the family. this shyt used to happen all the time a few decades ago and people still stuck together

shyts weak these days

i lived with an ex (no kids involved). we were always great friends though so it wasn't that bad. we lived in our former house after breaking up. he still tried to be with me for a little while, then he gave up and i was his wing man a few times. then we moved into another rental together lol. eventually we parted ways, but recently he moved in my house. lol, that's my best friend

Still smash occasionally huh

 

[3rdWorld]

If you dont hurt her or commit suicide you came out alright..