Post examples of the easiest p*ssy you ever got

[Woodwerkz]

Got nothing on the 5min smash status...but I will agree with the female poster who said basically that it's not game...moreso just a woman wanting some that night. I actually didn't know that it was women that actually go out with the preconceived notion to smash a dude that night if the right one approaches.

With that said I got a call from my homie asking if I could run him on base to get some liquor b/c he had already been drinking with his girl(SC blue laws have the liquor stores close by 7p...M-Sat...but on Ft. Jackson you can get it 24hrs at the Shoppette). Afterwards I drop him off at his girl apartment & leave. 5min later he called asking if I had plans for the evening b/c his girlfriend cousin popped up & they wanted to play Spades. I was going to hit up the club but cancelled and chilled there. After me & the homie won 2 games in a row I catch him rubbing on his girl thigh looking like at her. He takes her into the room to "talk" leaving me & the cousin chilling. She asked if I could make her a mixed drink like I did earlier & we sat talking & joking. Then we start hearing my homie & his girl having sex & the cousin was like then looked at me & started blushing. I went into the kitchen to grab some pizza off the stove and she walked by me close enough to have to touch me. So I said "you had plenty of space to get by... Rub up against me again &..." she cut me off & said "or what" then pressed against me & kissed my neck. That led to us smashing in the living room. We kept in touch for a while after that but her living in another state we never linked up again.

 

[Blackrogue]

Easiest p*ssy I ever got was this one day bout 20 years ago. So I'm just chilling, right? Minding my own business..so suddenly I feel a hot flash and a rush, I'm like wtf?? Didn't really pay attention to it until it kept happening over and over: long story short.. I'm looking up at some pink man and he says he's my dad

I'm like cmon buddy, you really think umma fall for that?

He's like you're my first daughter...

I'm like bruh...who this cracka be?

Anyways that's the day I remember I was born with a vag.

Making me superior, attractive, and entitled to the finest things in life.

Easiest p*ssy I ever got ...was given to me for free

Can't top this. These women changing the game

 

[AMcV'88]

i used to mess with this rich broad (actually i mess with quite a few)..i saw her on and off for a while but it never went anywhere
but there was a period that whenever she got into an argument with her family, friends, a guy she was seeing, shyt...just any time she annoyed or upset she just used to slum it with me.

9 times out of ten, if she text me i knew what i was getting.

 

[Vilified not verified]

 

[Dat Migo]

I'm quiet so it don't come to me easy at all.

 

[↓R↑LYB]

I was walking home from the club drunk and seen this fat bytch on the side of the road. Said what's up, and 5 minutes later I'm in the telly getting my dikk sucked.

I've learned long time ago women are just as trifling as men

 

[Mr Coli]

I was walking home from the club drunk and seen this fat bytch on the side of the road. Said what's up, and 5 minutes later I'm in the telly getting my dikk sucked.

I've learned long time ago women are just as trifling as men

pawgin huh

 

[↓R↑LYB]

pawgin huh

I don't fukk with white women breh

 

[CHICAGOrilla]

yall out here on sum savage shyt. Me personally I never went for 5 min smash shyt, passed on it many times i feel like if its that easy the bytch either got something or trying to set me up. Maybe I need to stop being a noid n see what that savage life about

 

[Behind-the-wheel]

Second easiest p*ssy I ever got...

Was bartending and my girl at the time was a mean bytch. I mean, fkn nasty mean and nasty...damn she-devil. Shoulda dumped her ass before she wrecked my life.
No one liked her where we worked....actually no one likes her anywhere...then or now.
But anyway...
So she got into it with this FINE ass latina chick that worked there. Now I know all the bartenders in there been up in and thru that p*ssy cause I heard em bragging for years. So latina chick gets into an argument/chick-fight with my girl and I didn't even get to see it. So it's broken up before I even get over to see the smackdown. Apparently my girl at the time won the fight with a slap.
Latina chick comes back to the bar to finish working...all of a sudden she's rubbin that fat ass up on me every time she passes by. Previously, she never gave me the time of day or even bumped into me. Now she's full on grinding that phat ass on me everytime she gets close.

So I stand by the server pickup area and she comes beside me and starts rubbing up my thigh. I was already standing at the server pickup area because it's away from the main bar and I had half a hard-on.
Her rubbing on my thigh sent me full-on...had to hide and readjust.
So she's running her hand up my thigh towards my johnson and looking up at me and smiling devilishly.
So I tell her to meet me by the bathrooms in 5 minutes.

I head over to the bathrooms and go around the little corner by the phone booth (this was the 90's in the bx) and wait for her.
It wasn't busy at that moment so I didn't expect much traffic. I knew my girl was busy with a table and wouldn't on the roam for a while...but I didn't have long.
She comes around the corner at the bathroom and I see those hips coming my way...

She immediately comes up to me and crushes up to me and we kissed and all I wanted was to put my hands on that big ole ass...Got me two handfuls and pulled her closer to me while we kissed for about 2 minutes.
I told her we should settle this after work.
She asked me if my girl was coming back to my place tonight....I told her I'd get rid of her.

So fast forward to the end of our shift.
I give latina chick my address and tell her to meet me at my apartment.
I tell my girl I'm heading home and I'll catch her tomorrow...blah blah blah and I take a cab to my spot.
I start setting the mood up with music and stuff.
I hear a honk outside my spot so I go out to meet latina chick.
She steps out of the cab and DAYUM homegirl is looking SELENA GOOD!!!!
All my neighbors and homeboys were like "Yoooo mami wassup!!!!"
I opened my front door, walked to her cab and scooped her up, lookin back at my homeboys like:

So we get inside and I invite her to the couch and offer her something to drink.
She declines and gives some small talk.
After an awkward pause we just started kissing again and next thing I know, the clothes are coming off.
My mind is racing because I wanted to get up in that piece like a fish need water...but I can't take her to the bed cause my girl gonna smell sex and get suspicious.
So I wrapped up and smashed her on the floor of the livingroom.

Her skin was so soft and sweet and her b-cup t*ts so perfectly shaped and the feel was just heavenly.
Pretty down below too. She was in her 30's so I was expecting meat flaps...but she had a nice pretty p*ssy.
Everything else was so perfect that I was expecting that fire...it was blah.

Went on for about 20 minutes and just busted to get it over with. She just kinda laid there and wouldn't get into it, throw it back at me, move or anything...like a damn moaning dead fish...
After we were done she was asking me to leave my girl and be with her saying she'd take care of me and do everything I wanted.
I'm thinking: "I already have my own place, a job, working on a degree, 2 or 3 chicks I'm talking to...what?"
I told her I'd think about it and that she should call a cab.
We cuddled and kissed on the couch while waiting for her cab and when she left my homeboys clowned me because she was gone so quick. I told em she was just coming by to check out my place.


And I didn't even get to hit it a second time cause I wound up getting a better job doing computer stuff in Manhattan.
I shoulda gone back for a second hit but I had so much tail coming at me at the time that I just straight forgot about her.

 

[Ghanaian Armor]

Ain't nothing worse than a girl with a good body (and a nice face to boot) who can't throw it down in the bedroom. Hood version of a Trophy Wife you got right there.

Feel like God made those Women on purpose to laugh at us. Like playing Russian Roulette. You can ask them about their skills and just like a Man they will brag and make up shyt. Then when it comes time to take the D they just complain and say "Oh too big" "Too strong papi" all kinds of bullshyt. Then you just want to get it over with.

Worst feeling in the world to go through a lot of effort only to say "Damn I shoulda just beat my meat instead of this bullshyt". Reminds me of this chick I hit in Spain could not take the dikk for shyt. I am no Lex Steele and she is like you are gonna break me in half put me down. I am like bytch I just inserted 2 minutes ago and you are already complaining. They are the same Women who complain that most Men have small dikks and can't pleasure them.

 

[Mr Uncle Leroy]

what was yall pickup lines exactly?

 

[RiffRaff]

A girl asked me if I was on the team.

I said yes, some mindless chatter for the next hour on the way back to my dorm room and it was a wrap

She was pretty bad too.

NBA nikkas got it too easy out here.

Saw a girl known as a slut at the library when it was late. Chatted her up for 30 minutes, next thing I know, was smashing in her dorm room

A lot of smashes in college simply came from chatting up a girl once, getting their number, then maybe a day or two later "chilling". Shyt was easy.

 

[Bless't]

Ain't nothing worse than a girl with a good body (and a nice face to boot) who can't throw it down in the bedroom. Hood version of a Trophy Wife you got right there.

Feel like God made those Women on purpose to laugh at us. Like playing Russian Roulette. You can ask them about their skills and just like a Man they will brag and make up shyt. Then when it comes time to take the D they just complain and say "Oh too big" "Too strong papi" all kinds of bullshyt. Then you just want to get it over with.

Worst feeling in the world to go through a lot of effort only to say "Damn I shoulda just beat my meat instead of this bullshyt". Reminds me of this chick I hit in Spain could not take the dikk for shyt. I am no Lex Steele and she is like you are gonna break me in half put me down. I am like bytch I just inserted 2 minutes ago and you are already complaining. They are the same Women who complain that most Men have small dikks and can't pleasure them.

The greatest feeling in the world is when you get to a point in your life where just after a few conversations, you're able to determine...

"naaaaah, not worth the headache."



That freedom... that clarity... that night of youporn.

 

[El negrito de tejas]

I got 2 stories both dealing with white women. Made me realize why all through college why nikkas would say how white girls were so easy....


So it's a Saturday night(8:30pm) in Houston and I'm on tinder just swiping and I match up with this ok looking white girl. 20mins later she messages me and tells me she likes my pictures and blah blah blah. She asks me what I have planned for the night and I tell her I was gonna go to the gym but who knows maybe something unexpected will happen tonight. So this chick decides to ask me if I want to go for a walk in memorial park she's never walked there at night before....
She sends me her number I call her and she gives me her address.

I drive over to her place to see she's living in a high rise condo that's brand spanking new. We meet, talk, and decide to get some beers from the grocery store... Soon as we walk out the store it starts raining so the walk is cancelled and we decide to sit on her balcony and drink beers all night... By around 12:30 she started rubbing my chest and I decided to put my hand under her shirt. We started making out and clothes just started coming off.

Next thing I know this chick is planting her feet squatting down on my shyt.
I'm not gonna lie that p*ssy was so good I had to keep on pulling out and taking a break. Eventually she got me and I was embarrassed. But that was 2nd quickest p*ssy I had ever gotten 4hrs on first contact