Protect Our Black Boys

[ePiffany]

Black boys molested by men isn't really spoken upon the way it should be. It's usually by a male family member or someone in the church.

BUT black boys being molested by black women is really NOT spoken on. It happens quite often and in return gives black boys an outlook on our women that puts them at risk for ineffective relationships with our women when they become men.

no babysitters
no sleepovers
not 4 any of our kids
ever, period

 

[Remo]

And here's the thing, we live in a patriarchal society. For as much as some of the problems within the Black Community are the fault of men and women, Black MEN have the greatest capacity to solve it. Men in our global society will always have the capacity to wield far more power, influence and wealth than Women. So in that regard, I feel we should take on more of the load.

 

[Shadow King]

I hate when I see women calling their sons their man or man of the house, and when grown women refer to little boys as their little boyfriends. It's sick

Never heard the second one

 

[Neuromancer]

.

And here's the thing, we live in a patriarchal society. For as much as some of the problems within the Black Community are the fault of men and women, Black MEN have the greatest capacity to solve it. Men in our global society will always have the capacity to wield far more power, influence and wealth than Women. So in that regard, I feel we should take on more of the load.
.

I take umbrance with this since not all males are given equal treatment. Black males are a seen as a threat to every other group males. There are asians on MRA boards complaining about black men with their women. We don't have the same power that other men have nor the same privilege or even resources. So I don't understand how you can say any of this without considering as one poster mentioned our history and treatment especially in America.

Also why are you conflating the Op's statement with an unrelated article? You're addressing something he didn't bring up. It almost seems like deflecting and very blantant deflecting.

Another thing. Why is holding someone accountability for teaching bad behavior sniping? Why isn't it just holding people accountable? Both men and women in our community need to be accountable, but only one of those sides can be addressed?

Also also. No animal, human, feline or otherwise welcomes attack. Speaking with someone is a two way conversation. Speaking at someone is a one way convo. It's not disimilar, dress right and speak properly, boy. That people try to advocate to minimize police shootings of unarmed black men. Both sides are saying you're the problem. Instead of saying hey let me talk WITH you so we can fix this.

 

[Poitier]

And here's the thing, we live in a patriarchal society. For as much as some of the problems within the Black Community are the fault of men and women, Black MEN have the greatest capacity to solve it. Men in our global society will always have the capacity to wield far more power, influence and wealth than Women. So in that regard, I feel we should take on more of the load.

How do you rectify advocating for patriarchy ITT yet promoting Black womanism in other threads? It doesn't add up.

Do Black folks live in a patriarchal community? Thats a very dubious claim. Is the solution as easy as Black men waking up one day and becoming capitalist as if economic apartheid isn't real?

What I do know is that in terms of child rearing and the household, Black women should have outsized influence, a role, and say in how we fix problems that arise.

It is literally anti-woman to suggest that men should lead them on matters pertaining to the children they bring into the world and are attached to in ways men will never be....thats the literal essence of maternity.

If anything, showing "whataboutism" helps people NOT fall into the trap of thinking its one gender inflicting all the ills in the community and that its more so a generational poverty issue...there isn't something inherently evil with either gender, we are both inflicting trauma because of our environment/history.

Why does humanizing Black boys/men upset some of you so much? Literally not humanizing Black men leads to stuff like radical Black feminism where our women are fed propaganda about Black men being some unique arbiter of evil because they only get fed one side.

 

[Neuromancer]

How do you rectify advocating for patriarchy ITT yet promoting Black womanism in other threads? It doesn't add up.

Do Black folks live in a patriarchal community? Thats a very dubious claim. Is the solution as easy as Black men waking up one day and becoming capitalist as if economic apartheid isn't real?

What I do know is that in terms of child rearing and the household, Black women should have outsized influence, a role, and say in how we fix problems that arise.

It is literally anti-woman to suggest that men should lead them on matters pertaining to the children they bring into the world and are attached to in ways men will never be....thats the literal essence of maternity.

If anything, showing "whataboutism" helps people NOT fall into the trap of thinking its one gender inflicting all the ills in the community and that its more so a generational poverty issue...there isn't something inherently evil with either gender, we are both inflicting trauma because of our environment/history.

Why does humanizing Black boys/men upset some of you so much? Literally not humanizing Black men leads to stuff like radical Black feminism where our women are fed propaganda about Black men being some unique arbiter of evil because they only get fed one side.

The bolded is a very good question and @Booksnrain I would like your input. Both genders are human. It takes compassion and also logic to see this. I have always argued that men get angry at women turning them down or doing human things because they believe or are led to believe that they are angelic beings , thus not allowing them to be human. Many males on here have told other males the same thing in different ways females are human,just like males so they're not perfect. Dudes have gotten clowned for not seeing that. But for some reason when we try to humanize black males some people get upset. Very upset and it's strange. What exactly is their issue?

 

[Marc Spector]

1.How do you rectify advocating for patriarchy ITT yet promoting Black womanism in other threads? It doesn't add up.

2. Do Black folks live in a patriarchal community? Thats a very dubious claim. Is the solution as easy as Black men waking up one day and becoming capitalist as if economic apartheid isn't real?

What I do know is that in terms of child rearing and the household, Black women should have outsized influence, a role, and say in how we fix problems that arise.

3 It is literally anti-woman to suggest that men should lead them on matters pertaining to the children they bring into the world and are attached to in ways men will never be....thats the literal essence of maternity.

4. If anything, showing "whataboutism" helps people NOT fall into the trap of thinking its one gender inflicting all the ills in the community and that its more so a generational poverty issue...there isn't something inherently evil with either gender, we are both inflicting trauma because of our environment/history.

5. Why does humanizing Black boys/men upset some of you so much? Literally not humanizing Black men leads to stuff like radical Black feminism where our women are fed propaganda about Black men being some unique arbiter of evil because they only get fed one side.

1. Pointing out that Patriarchy exists and where our abilities lie in it is not advocating it. Its not different than telling Cacs that white supremacy exists and that they hold more power to end it/use it for good or evil than Black people.

2. Patriarchy, just like white privilege isn't the ability for men/cacs to suddenly be rich and powerful. Its the state of existence in that power, wealth, and influence are more easily attainable for men/cacs than for women/black folk. Its also the state of existence where power is considered "greater" when a man/cac wields it than a woman/black folk.

Yes, Black women in the black community are often time the head of family due to the absence of men (for various reason). But they are simply DE FACTO leaders. Leaders who are merely acting in absence because someone has to. In a matriarchy, women would be given this power/authority by men who hold a present and contributing role in that society.

Their is no cure-all solution. But IMO the closest way we can get there (outside of toppling white supremacy/ global capitalism) is by participating as best we can in the job market, in particular STEM fields. We presently are not doing that, mostly in part to the cycle of Black poverty which has created the dissolution of the Black family and no core values/goals to adhere to. Racism is a vast barrier , but in the Information Age and with the revitalization of cities that is occurring across the nation, Blacks are in the best chance we've ever had to get a little more further from the poverty cycle.

3. See points 1 and 2

4. Id say it depends on the context of why we're having the conversation. In a vacuum speaking about sexual abuse in the black community and how Black Boys are just as abused as Black Girls is a valid topic. Immediately starting out the conversation by saying "Black mothers are awarded custody and put boys in toxic environments...." is kind of a indicator that you're creating a "ITS fukkING BLACK WOMENS FAULT" narrative. Thats petty, doesn't tell the whole story, and only seeks to play into the gender wars. For the record, Id say the exact same thing if it were implied that its all black mens fault.

5. Nothing wrong with pointing out that Black men suffer. What i have a problem with is deflecting any sort of criticism, using whatboutism to change the subject, and then claiming someone is trying to stop Black progress when they tell you that youre fukking up. Its part of the problem.

 

[Marc Spector]

1. I take umbrance with this since not all males are given equal treatment. Black males are a seen as a threat to every other group males. There are asians on MRA boards complaining about black men with their women. We don't have the same power that other men have nor the same privilege or even resources. So I don't understand how you can say any of this without considering as one poster mentioned our history and treatment especially in America.

2. Also why are you conflating the Op's statement with an unrelated article? You're addressing something he didn't bring up. It almost seems like deflecting and very blantant deflecting.

Another thing. Why is holding someone accountability for teaching bad behavior sniping? Why isn't it just holding people accountable? Both men and women in our community need to be accountable, but only one of those sides can be addressed?

3. Also also. No animal, human, feline or otherwise welcomes attack. Speaking with someone is a two way conversation. Speaking at someone is a one way convo. It's not disimilar, dress right and speak properly, boy. That people try to advocate to minimize police shootings of unarmed black men. Both sides are saying you're the problem. Instead of saying hey let me talk WITH you so we can fix this.

1. In spite of the unfair treatment of Black men as a whole, I look around and see FAR MORE Black men in positions of power and authority than Black women. Ive worked a lot of places and lived all across the world and the one of the constants I see is that Black men are doing better. In my 30 years of life, Ive seen more Black male military officers, senior enlisted, successful politicians, business owners, operations managers, industrial engineers, executives, professors, head pastors, Co-chairs of non-profits, etc. etc.

So that tells me that Black Men may still be oppressed but we are still to move a little bit easier than Black women due to patriarchy.

2. Have you been posting on here as of late? if so don't piss on me and tell me its raining. The Coli can be anti-black woman already, but the past week and a half has been real extra and I think we all know why.

3. If we're talking about THE article (which is what I was referring to in the post you quoted), thats exactly the problem if you interpreted it as an attack.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

The bolded is a very good question and @Booksnrain I would like your input. Both genders are human. It takes compassion and also logic to see this. I have always argued that men get angry at women turning them down or doing human things because they believe or are led to believe that they are angelic beings , thus not allowing them to be human. Many males on here have told other males the same thing in different ways females are human,just like males so they're not perfect. Dudes have gotten clowned for not seeing that. But for some reason when we try to humanize black males some people get upset. Very upset and it's strange. What exactly is their issue?

I think there is a sense that if males want to rule the world and claim superiority and leadership, there is the expectation that they will be held accountable or take the lion's share of responsibility for issues that occur. This leads to an atrophy of empathy between the sexes, so that male vulnerability isn't taken seriously.

To a large extent it hurts to say this but males created and contribute to this system by setting up arbitary associations with masculinity that limit men from the reality of their humanity. Young boys who are sexually molested by women are taught that they were lucky to have a hot teacher. The idea being that fulfillment of sexuality in a man is more important than safeguarding his childhood.

The identification of women as the weaker sex or inferior has also come back to bite men b/c once again it lets females off the hook for crimes they commit. Meanwhile female aggression is real but men have never acknowledged it b/c they arbitrarily associate aggression with masculinity and this ignores reality. These social/cultural associations limit people's ability to see the truth of a situation. There is nothing inherently male about aggression or sexual appetite. There is nothing inherently female about emotional control or being nurturing. Of course biological realties exist but ones history of social reinforcement plays a bigger role in how these things play out.

This is why I espouse more egalitarian, harmonious relationships based off mutual respect and practical strengths. Because ultimately men and women are different but their shared human experience makes them more alike than either group is willing to concede. I also think the gender code where the two sexes capes for their own no matter what is ridiculous and dangerous as it opens the door to justifying really evil shyt just b/c the person doing it gotta dikk or p*ssy just like you.

 

[ignorethis]

My partner thinks I be joking but I be dead serious when I say this shyt.

The mother of 2 of our little homies wants to fukk her sons, don't ask me how.

 

[ignorethis]

And I don't even wanna start a flame war, but a lot of American black men have Stockholm Syndrome with their moms.

The two boys I mention that their mother wants to fukk them got all types of fukked up stories about being left with abusive boyfriends, starving while sleeping on pallets, CPS trying to take them away. But never in their heads does it register that their mom caused all that strife in their lives. They see their mom as a infallible angel and the boyfriends and CPS as the villains in the stories.

Oh yea their youngest brother 18yrs old, is sitting in jail on million dollar bond, the mom definitely wants to fukk him too.

My big bro/mentor, nikka literally change my life and I love him forever, spent damn near all of ages 11-22 in the Texas juvenile/penitentiary system. Him and his brother hit a lick on a racetrack for a bunch of liquor when they were 11 and 13. They didn't know what to do with it so they gave it to their mom, their mom didn't care that they stole it, she drunk it, gave out bottles to her friends and family as gifts, basically that liquor was gone quick.

One day she calls the police on them and tells them everything, not because she finally realized what they did was wrong. She sent her sons to a life of prison because they kept calling her a bytch.

The older brother would get out, become a paraplegic in a motorcycle crash hitting a lick, and eventually die at the age of 35.

The younger brother would make something of himself and become my mentor on a lot of shyt, but he still loves and takes care of his mom after the hell she put him through. Then again he's an optimistic dude that says he thankful for his time in the system because it gave him his hustle.

Dude told me "be careful dealing with women when you're a criminal, because a lot of women will get angry and snitch on you fast as hell. Then they'll calm down and tell you 'sorry' "

"Sorry? bytch I got 100 years"

 

[Concerning VIolence]

Instead of making this a stealth Black Women whatboutism thread, can we all just pledge to be and do better?

I get it, nikkas still call themselves mad after the VSB article. Fine.

And ill agree, you can make an argument that sexual abuse against ALL males is extremely ignored because the power dynamic isn't as drastic. But that doesn't make it any less tragic, especially in lower income communities where victims have no outlet or support for their abuse. Especially boys, because they have to be "tough" to survive.

With all that said, we cannot devolve and become even more divided. Plugging your ears and yelling " well y'all are fukked up too!!" at Black Women is fukking retarded and solves nothing.

Quite frankly, it makes me shake my head in disgust at a lot of you. As MEN, we are supposed to be leaders and problem solvers. In your daily life, do you sit around and point fingers at your partner/spouse/coworkers/employees? Do you refuse to hear these same people out when they have grievances? Or do you realize that progress cannot be made until we address the core problems and come to as common a solution as possible?

The dysfunction in the Black Community has less to do with the failings of a certain gender and more to do with the limited socioeconomic power and scarce resources. The best way to overcome that is the unity of the nuclear family unit.

Until we become better partners to one another, we will keep failing.

You're a deflecting clown.

 

[Wear My Dawg's Hat]

American black folk have lived in a hyper-matriarchal arrangement for the past 50 years.

In many instances, boys and men aren't second-class citizens in these environments, we are non-citizens.

When black girls experience much better life outcomes as they mature to adulthood than black boys, we
actually blame the boys for their circumstance.

We then expect them to be productive "men."

A sex/gender re-balancing in the "community" needs to take place.

 

[Wear My Dawg's Hat]

You have mothers who've been awarded custody by the courts putting boys in toxic environments they never asked to be brought in and thrusting them into roles in the household that aren't age appropriate

We demonize Black men when they become thugs, rappers, womanizers but we never discuss how and where they learn this from as boys when they are damn near a blank slate


Thoughts on why Black boys are never seen as victims yet are readily vilified as grown men, TLR?

Black boys are considered non-persons in a state-enforced, hyper-matriarchy.

In fact, we are largely referred to as "black men" from the time of our births.

 

[Neuromancer]

1. In spite of the unfair treatment of Black men as a whole, I look around and see FAR MORE Black men in positions of power and authority than Black women. Ive worked a lot of places and lived all across the world and the one of the constants I see is that Black men are doing better. In my 30 years of life, Ive seen more Black male military officers, senior enlisted, successful politicians, business owners, operations managers, industrial engineers, executives, professors, head pastors, Co-chairs of non-profits, etc. etc.

So that tells me that Black Men may still be oppressed but we are still to move a little bit easier than Black women due to patriarchy.

2. Have you been posting on here as of late? if so don't piss on me and tell me its raining. The Coli can be anti-black woman already, but the past week and a half has been real extra and I think we all know why.

3. If we're talking about THE article (which is what I was referring to in the post you quoted), thats exactly the problem if you interpreted it as an attack.

Do me a favor, define a conversation. Define it for me, please.