Question for Divorcees....Wknd Dad or Summer Dad? Edit: my friend is leaving the state

[Marc Spector]

If his funds for legal representation are low there are civic organizations that assist in matters in family court

But here is what jumped out at me.....if he is being truthful and he didnt hit her WHY THE fukk DID HE NOT FIGHT THOSE DV CHARGES

I dont know bout yall there is no way on this earth I am letting untruthful DV charges be on my legal record.......that afects so many fukking things going forward including future background checks for employment etc

And he just let that slide....when so much is at stake.....WHAT THE fukk is he thinking

we friends, but i never said he was a smart, dutiful man

 

[CW_1991]

Children need the consistent physical presence of their father to develop.

(I'm not a divorcee, but have had the exact same convo with my buddies as you're having)

This. Both are a shytty deal.

USE GREAT SCRUPLES IN SELECTING A WOMEN TO IMPREGNATE.

 

[The Radiant One]

Not a divorcee but I hate to see folks blindly regurgitate narratives as if there aren't enough examples of successful summer/weekend dads, especially during the social media era

If court attempt fails to stop your ex-wife from relocating to another state, yall with this "bubu a father needs to be close," finna relocate too?

Exactly and she can say it’s to be around family. The move stipulation only is enforced in a few states and that’s after a divorce

 

[Scaaar]

I got divorced when my daughter was 2yrs old she 5 now going on 6. I didn't want to be a weekend daddy. So I paid a lawyer 5k(plus alot more cause some other shyt) to handle my custody I have 50/50 everything. By my daughter not being in school at the time I was able to equal amount of time. Also as of last month my lawyer got me off child support because my daughter is with me equal amount of time and I have shared custody. The schedule is tough on me at times but it's beyond worth it, so I can be there consistently through these early years. Which they say are the most important.

 

[ALonelyDad]

Agree with everyone here, he should see them every week..he can go be a summer dad when they are 18.

 

[Alvin]

This may sound drastic, but depending upon how flexible she is, I would do one week on and one week off if possible. The issue is that he has to live close to the school system. But as a caveat on what others have said, the kids could end up fine without their father however they may not care to have a relationship with him or detest him if he isn’t there.

 

[johntheblackjew]

sad shyt.

 

[Jahbarri]

I have my son Friday to Monday. Baby mom Monday to Friday. I pick him up 2-6pm Friday drop him off 8am-12noon Monday

 

[Marc Spector]

My friend flies back to the east coast next week, he stayin wit me until then.

He hurting, talm bout its surreal as hes been here for 15 years


But dude was literally outta money as he was renting a nice apt for his wknds with the kids, legal fees, and had to re purchase everything he bought .

The high CoL here, plus the child support he was gonna get hit with (1k a month but IMO he got lucky with that number) was gone have him living in a tent.

 

[Apollo Creed]

This. Both are a shytty deal.

USE GREAT SCRUPLES IN SELECTING A WOMEN TO IMPREGNATE.

we should be fighting for changing these laws, not dealing with mystical advice for people who change 100% of the time post kids. No parent should be at the mercy of the other.

 

[Apollo Creed]

My friend flies back to the east coast next week, he stayin wit me until then.

He hurting, talm bout its surreal as hes been here for 15 years


But dude was literally outta money as he was renting a nice apt for his wknds with the kids, legal fees, and had to re purchase everything he bought .

The high CoL here, plus the child support he was gonna get hit with (1k a month but IMO he got lucky with that number) was gone have him living in a tent.

he needs to protect himself. Killing himself won't do anything for the kids because he will be dead. It is what it is, when the kids grow older they will understand what their mother put them through.

 

[CW_1991]

we should be fighting for changing these laws, not dealing with mystical advice for people who change 100% of the time post kids. No parent should be at the mercy of the other.

That's true. A decade plus of being somebody is a long time. Things can evolve and change. Still doesn't really discredit what I'm saying. Many more people get divorced in a much quicker time span because they don't take their time. Nothing mystical about being sure about what you're about to do when it comes to your livelihood.

Attempting to change the law is one option but good luck with that. At the end of the day it's all about the monetary aspect. Marriage and divorce is big Business in this country and stimulates the economy. Better to have a full understanding of the lay of the land and do your best not to set yourself up for a rude awakening in the future. And even then, that might not even be enough. Like I said, it's a shytty situation for guy

 

[Mowgli]

GOt a friend of mine who is going through a messy ass divorce ATM with his wife of 13 years (been together for 17). 3 kids all under 10 in the mix.

Now hes from the East Coast originally (we live on the West Coast) and wifey and her family are from here and HATE him and has shown no intent to be amicable so far. Outside of his wife and kids, breh has no real attachments up here (his job aint that great either ).

IM telling mans that the second the divorce is finalized and once his youngest daughter (an infant) is old enough to sit on a plane, he needs to GTFOH and just be a summer custody parent.

No point in seeing the kids every other weeekend in a rushed fashion and with no help from the other parent. Might as well get them for a summer all to yourself. He kinda agrees but obviously he wants to be as geographically close as possible.

Whats the best philosophy on this? Does it just depend on the relationship between the 2 parents?

You shouldn't have told him how to handle his family. Let them decide that on their own. Weekend dad better than summer dad

 

[Apollo Creed]

That's true. A decade plus of being somebody is a long time. Things can evolve and change. Still doesn't really discredit what I'm saying. Many more people get divorced in a much quicker time span because they don't take their time. Nothing mystical about being sure about what you're about to do when it comes to your livelihood.

Attempting to change the law is one option but good luck with that. At the end of the day it's all about the monetary aspect. Marriage and divorce is big Business in this country and stimulates the economy. Better to have a full understanding of the lay of the land and do your best not to set yourself up for a rude awakening in the future. And even then, that might not even be enough. Like I said, it's a shytty situation for guy

you got it bro

 

[Marc Spector]

You shouldn't have told him how to handle his family. Let them decide that on their own. Weekend dad better than summer dad

He decided for himself i cant force another person to do something.

I Merely gave a opinion on what was logical to me