Ezekiel 25:17
Veteran
I would definitely do 50/50, any father talking about 'free time' is a dead beat. You can easily do 2 weeks every month.
Question for Divorcees....Wknd Dad or Summer Dad? Edit: my friend is leaving the state
- Thread starter Marc Spector
- Start date
Somebody tell me what's the point of marriage again? shyt is dead in the water.
marriage was something that was conscripted by the church. IMO, it was to give weak men a chance to lock in the box, raise money for the church and conquer nations. of course, I never saw it that way until after my divorce and a lot of time of contemplation. We are designed to procreate as much as possible.
Marc Spector
the 4'11 Cuban
Finally got bak to this thread....busy day
he and wifey had a up and down marriage. i personally think the stress of living up here in the expensive ass, isolated west coast (with mediocre jobs), her getting laid off during covid, her giving birth to their youngest just in April last year, and all that with the stress of raising 2 kids (hes my friend and all but their house was perpetually a junky mess which was a microcosm of their "hold" on the daily grind imo) and having meddling ass in laws just was too much too overcome.
For those who saying im a bad friend or wrong to tell him to move consider this:
there is 0 chance my friend will win his custody battle or even get 50/50. No chance in hell. He doesnt have the money or support to fight it in court. They got married in WA. State, a state that statistically doesnt favor 50.50 split . His wife lived a square life and has played the separation game well by ceasing all contact between him and her. No paper trail to show instability.
She has shown 0 indication of compromise or mediation and has moved with a scorched earth policy. He wont get any help, empathy or sympathy from her.
TO make matters worse, my friend accumulated 2 DV charges against him in their 14 year marriage (he swears he never hit her just would lose his temper, punch walls, and pushed her this last go round as she attempted to call the cops on him). Shes been riding a protection order against him the past 6 months and plans on extending it. Those are risk factors and no judge in the USA will show sympathy to him.
With that said, why stay in a expensive ass state, barely getting by (even before child support and alimony), barely seeing your kids and having to squeeze all the missed time into whats generously 10 full days a month (120 days a year)....when a summer vaca lasts essentially the same amount of time but consecutive days? And with facetime nowadaysm you can have some semblance of seeing and interacting with your kids instead of a disembodied voice over the phone.
Obviously physically being in the same vicinity as your kids is preferable but nothing in my friends scenario is indicating that he will have any real contact with the kids despite living in the same fukkin city/state as them. Might as well live life on your terms at that point, but thats how i see it.
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Marc Spector
the 4'11 Cuban
And the better alternative is picking the kids up at 4pm friday to have to drop them off at 4pm Sunday?
perfectblack999
All Star
As a child of divorce, I can tell you, no child wants a summer parent.
Being a dad sounds depressing. You nikkas can keep that shyt
.
.
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HARLEM AL
Your broad loves me.....
Being a dad sounds depressing. You nikkas can't keep that shyt
...... you don’t know the half.
luciddreamer
All Star
Having your kids for the summer and staying in contact and in their lives via communication other times, is better than just ghosting period, which most do, he needs to get his affairs in order and take care of himself first.
If he can get better opportunity elsewhere, better job, living situation etc. That puts him in a better position for the kids, so be it. Sometimes the best/most desirable way to do things aren't always feasible. No point in fighting to be near your kids physically if in the end you'll be mentally and emotionally gone.
If he can get better opportunity elsewhere, better job, living situation etc. That puts him in a better position for the kids, so be it. Sometimes the best/most desirable way to do things aren't always feasible. No point in fighting to be near your kids physically if in the end you'll be mentally and emotionally gone.
Imyremeshaw
كن التغير الذي تريد أن تراه في العالم
As a single dad, everything you wrote is 100, however I will say joint custody if you have a toxic ex is undoable. Tried that with my baby mama shyt almost lost me custody.....
BmoreGorilla
Veteran
I made sure I got my daughter half the time as soon as me and her mother separated and documented it. So when it was time for the divorce to go thru they could see my track record and getting joint custody was easy. It was hard on my daughter at first going back n forth so much but she adjusted and after a while liked it. It helped that me and her mother live close tho. Men just gotta know their rights and what they are entitled to. Many just assume the mother is gonna have custody and they gonna have to pay child support and don’t even fight it. Also it’s real easy to get caught up in some bullshyt with the mother becuz divorce isn’t an easy process at all. It takes a toll. But me and my ex wife are cool now. She’s even friends with my lady. My daughter sees everybody is a united front and she’s thriving
Somebody in my family has daughters in another state he only gets during the summer and maybe for a few days around Christmas. It’s the worst. When he sees his kids there’s always friction becuz they are used to living a totally different lifestyle with their mother. Different rules and diets. It’s to the point they don’t even like staying with him and he does the best he can. But when it comes down to it they don’t know him like that becuz they barely see him so there’s a lack of respect
Somebody in my family has daughters in another state he only gets during the summer and maybe for a few days around Christmas. It’s the worst. When he sees his kids there’s always friction becuz they are used to living a totally different lifestyle with their mother. Different rules and diets. It’s to the point they don’t even like staying with him and he does the best he can. But when it comes down to it they don’t know him like that becuz they barely see him so there’s a lack of respect
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Goat poster
KANG LIFE
I feel for ya boy.Finally got bak to this thread....busy day
he and wifey had a up and down marriage. i personally think the stress of living up here in the expensive ass, isolated west coast (with mediocre jobs), her getting laid off during covid, her giving birth to their youngest just in April last year, and all that with the stress of raising 2 kids (hes my friend and all but their house was perpetually a junky mess which was a microcosm of their "hold" on the daily grind imo) and having meddling ass in laws just was too much too overcome.
For those who saying im a bad friend or wrong to tell him to move consider this:
there is 0 chance my friend will win his custody battle or even get 50/50. No chance in hell. He doesnt have the money or support to fight it in court. They got married in WA. State, a state that statistically doesnt favor 50.50 split . His wife lived a square life and has played the separation game well by ceasing all contact between him and her. No paper trail to show instability.
She has shown 0 indication of compromise or mediation and has moved with a scorched earth policy. He wont get any help, empathy or sympathy from her.
TO make matters worse, my friend accumulated 2 DV charges against him in their 14 year marriage (he swears he never hit her just would lose his temper, punch walls, and pushed her this last go round as she attempted to call the cops on him). Shes been riding a protection order against him the past 6 months and plans on extending it. Those are risk factors and no judge in the USA will show sympathy to him.
With that said, why stay in a expensive ass state, barely getting by (even before child support and alimony), barely seeing your kids and having to squeeze all the missed time into whats generously 10 full days a month (120 days a year)....when a summer vaca lasts essentially the same amount of time but consecutive days? And with facetime nowadaysm you can have some semblance of seeing and interacting with your kids instead of a disembodied voice over the phone.
Obviously physically being in the same vicinity as your kids is preferable but nothing in my friends scenario is indicating that he will have any real contact with the kids despite living in the same fukkin city/state as them. Might as well live life on your terms at that point, but thats how i see it.
there were times in my seperation were I felt the same way.
But I just couldn’t be away from my seed. There are non profit organizations that would help your friend fight for co custody of he REALLY wants it.
but if he doesn’t want to be there and thinks he would have more success elsewhere
Finally got bak to this thread....busy day
he and wifey had a up and down marriage. i personally think the stress of living up here in the expensive ass, isolated west coast (with mediocre jobs), her getting laid off during covid, her giving birth to their youngest just in April last year, and all that with the stress of raising 2 kids (hes my friend and all but their house was perpetually a junky mess which was a microcosm of their "hold" on the daily grind imo) and having meddling ass in laws just was too much too overcome.
For those who saying im a bad friend or wrong to tell him to move consider this:
there is 0 chance my friend will win his custody battle or even get 50/50. No chance in hell. He doesnt have the money or support to fight it in court. They got married in WA. State, a state that statistically doesnt favor 50.50 split . His wife lived a square life and has played the separation game well by ceasing all contact between him and her. No paper trail to show instability.
She has shown 0 indication of compromise or mediation and has moved with a scorched earth policy. He wont get any help, empathy or sympathy from her.
TO make matters worse, my friend accumulated 2 DV charges against him in their 14 year marriage (he swears he never hit her just would lose his temper, punch walls, and pushed her this last go round as she attempted to call the cops on him). Shes been riding a protection order against him the past 6 months and plans on extending it. Those are risk factors and no judge in the USA will show sympathy to him.
With that said, why stay in a expensive ass state, barely getting by (even before child support and alimony), barely seeing your kids and having to squeeze all the missed time into whats generously 10 full days a month (120 days a year)....when a summer vaca lasts essentially the same amount of time but consecutive days? And with facetime nowadaysm you can have some semblance of seeing and interacting with your kids instead of a disembodied voice over the phone.
Obviously physically being in the same vicinity as your kids is preferable but nothing in my friends scenario is indicating that he will have any real contact with the kids despite living in the same fukkin city/state as them. Might as well live life on your terms at that point, but thats how i see it.
That's crazy. Good luck to him.
I knew there had to be something else though
My friend not married but going through something similar.
A vasectomy is the best way to avoid this.
